I'm married and I like to know everything my husband does. I tell him everything that I do , everything. I do that because I expect him to do the same with me, but he doesn't. I' m jealous woman. Since he doesn't tell me anything, I start suspecting and my brain starts to think alot of things, so I decide to check his cellphone and go thru his calls & txt messages. Now he has blocked the functions and I can read them which make me think a lot of things. He says that he blocked them because I'm a jealous person and that he doesn't want to be fighting over phone calls of number that I don't know and txt messages. The question is why did he block the cellphone and change the password to his e-mail? I think that as his wife I have the right to know . Am I doing things wrong here? Or is he in something else?
2007-01-25 08:03:53 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I honestly dont blame either of you. I prefer if my wife doesnt know my email or anything else and if I hold that information back she might think that I am hiding something which is perfectly normal.
2007-01-25 08:25:05 · answer #1 · answered by D R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a hobby and a life of your own. Being that wrapped up in what your husband eats for lunch, what he's thinking every second of the day or who he thinks about when he's jerking off isn't healthy for you or him.
Take a step back. How would you like to be treated? If he hasn't done anything to deserve the FBI manhunt and interrogation then give him a break.
The fact that you are that insecure is a little scary - you have control over your emotional reaction so stop excusing your behavior by saying, "Well, I'm just a jealous person" - thats a cop out!
Oh, and your giving everyone a "thumbs down" doesn't make you look to good either.
2007-01-25 08:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The reason why he blocked them is because you are invading his privacy. Yes, even a married couple is entitled to a degree of privacy. If you have no other evidence of your husband cheating other than your "brain thinking a lot of things", I'd suggest you get some counselling to explore why you are paranoid for no reason. If I had a partner who constantly suspected me of wrong-doing, and I knew I was perfectly innocent, I wouldn't hang around long. You should address your jealousy issues before your husband decides that he doesn't need the third degree every day of his life.
2007-01-25 08:16:33 · answer #3 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I do the same thing, but my husband doesn't block me. He simply explains the number I don't know or explains an email that is unfamiliar to me and I listen to what he has to say. I think that it IS wrong of us to violate their privacy like that but at the same time I agree with you - I am my husband's wife and I have a right to know what is going on. I get jealous VERY easily, but my husband tells me every detail about anything that would make me suspicious so that I don't have a reason to start a fight (because all the information he has is already there for me). If I were you, I would tell your husband that by blocking you out - it only makes it worse. It makes it worse because your mind wonders even more of what he is doing and why he blocked everything from you. I know I would constantly think "well, he blocked me so he must have something to hide" and that is a bad way to live in a marriage. You also have to be willing to listen to him and listen to the explinations he gives you without interrupting or making smart comments (I am famous for making faces at my husband while he explains stuff to me and he gets SO mad about it). If you can listen and he can be open - it will help you stop being jealous (a little).
2007-01-25 08:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Yes you are all over the line. The more you insist the more he will not tell you, simply because he does not want to be made to report everything to you. You should stop telling him everything and see if he cares. If he doeswant to know, then you can request the same thing, but if he doesn't, you'll know that its not personal, its just the way he thinks and feels about the situation.
2007-01-25 08:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better back off. I think you have low self esteem, In this relationship,and maybe in rest of your relationships, with family and friends.
This is the way I look at this.You're married. It doesn't mean you and he are one in the same person.You are united,but not totality bound to each other.He IS STILL AN INDIVIDUAL and SO ARE YOU.
I think you need therapy.I really do. He and you have to have your own little place ,mentally that is; where no one can intrude.
If you loved him enough to marry him, well,as I recall some part of that union is TRUST.
Trust him or loose him.If I had someone on my back as you are on his,YOU WOULD BE HISTORY. Have confidence in yourself.
2007-01-25 08:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Way, way over the line. You're going to drive this guy right out of the door. Did you ever find anything suspicious when you were checking his messages / calls? If not, why did you continue to invade his privacy? Is he home at night with you? Then back off before you harm this marriage with your meddling ways.
2007-01-25 08:16:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you are over the line. You want a hostage for a spouse. It sounds like you need to stop and think about this your husband is there because he wants to be there not any controlling tactic you use will keep him if he decides to leave. Stop the madness and enjoy the relationship that God has put in your life don`t kill it being overbearing and snoopy.
2007-01-25 13:34:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you are his wife but every individual has the right to their own personal space. You not trusting him is another subject. But I am telling you, I can testify to it. You need to stop telling him everything that you do as well. People always think that when they get married that they are supposed to be 'one person' and let them know everything - but they are wrong. I did that. I secluded myself to him. . .he knew my every step. As a matter of fact most of my steps were with him! You are going to have to let him have his space. You are going to have to make your own space!
It seems like you have have insecurites and a trust issue with him. That is not cool. You might want to re-evaluate your marriage. I would have blocked you from viewing all of my information as well. I have done that to my phone because I don't need anyone telling me what to do or having anything to say about what I do, who I talk to or whatever. I only have one daddy.
2007-01-25 08:14:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are over the line, if you have no reason to think he is cheating and he is doing that because you can't let him have some privacy then yes you are over the line just because you want to be all about him doesn't mean he is the same way get your own life just because you are married doesn't mean you can't be your own person!
2007-01-25 08:12:06 · answer #10 · answered by Heather M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋