So, I have this friend, we have only been friends for about 4 months, but grew really close in that time, I confided in her that A friend that I have had for over 5 years and I were seriously talking about beginning a romantic relationship and asked her for advice on what I should do, I told her I was interested in the guy, was worried about our friendship, blah blah that kind of thing, Her advice was to go for it because he is a great guy, very handsome, has his life put together blah blah, about a week after I tell her this, she hooks up with him behind my back and then starts dating him. they both have apologized and would like to continue our friendship, but I feel they both have betrayed me, and thinking about them together makes me sick to my stomach. am I being immature, or am I justified in not forgiving them?
2007-01-25 08:01:12 · 43 answers · asked by braindeadbrilliance 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Damn! That's one dirty, manipulative, conniving...you can finish that one. I wouldnt be "friends" with anyone like that, and tell 'em to kiss your azz just for me!! Release the both of them and the grudge, but never trust a snake 2x.
2007-01-25 08:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by incognitas8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should forgive. There is really no point in holding a grudge. To be honest, your friendship probably won't be the same anyway. So you forgive and move on with your life. Both of them probably won't be as prominent in your life. It's hard to forget these things, so the relationships will be much different.
Your not being immature. They were to have done this to you. If you chose not to forgive, I think you are definetly justified, but it might feel better to just let it go.
2007-01-25 08:10:12 · answer #2 · answered by Heather S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if I was in that situation I would. But that's only becuase i'm a natuarally forgivable person. It would take me about two weeks to forgive them, but i would. If you think that this friend is a really good friend and u feel in your heart you don't want to loose her over a silly boy, then don't do anything stupid and just forgive her. It'll take time to heal, but everything will be ok. I know this because my ex-best friend and i always had fights and eventually i lost her and she got a new set of friends. And now i realized how much i miss her. So if you think that this friendship could blossum into an excellent friendship, then forgive her, but take a while to do so, but not too long.
2007-01-25 08:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to beat around the bush or sugar coat anything. You slept on getting with him, and she went after what she wanted. You can't get mad at her as far as her showing initiative. Forgiveness is a good thing. Forgive, but don't forget. If things don't work out for them, who's to say she won't jump at the next guy you are interested in?
To call her a friend after 4 months? No matter how close you get to an individual, especially after 4 months, they are an acquaintance. Friends wouldn't do things like that. They support, not steal.
2007-01-25 08:12:41 · answer #4 · answered by Andrew B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was in your situation, My heart would of hit the floor. I dont see how you could forgive someone that did such a thing to you. Now I dont think I wouild be so mad at the dude for that because he might not have understood the whole thing, but HER! I would be so pissed. I dont think that you should fully forgive her. i mean there is a time where you need to forgive and forget. Dont dwell on it so much. But I can see where you are coming from and you feel it;s not something you can just drop! Move on and find different friends or sit down with her and explain how you felt.,
There is not much you can do about something like this. Forgive and forget..rememeber that:)
2007-01-25 08:08:04 · answer #5 · answered by acoats2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being immature about it because your friend and the guy that you were interested in dating have betrayed you! Its not your fault that the both of them have decided to date each other behind your back and they didn't think about the consequences. If you want to forgive them, then its up to you, but continue to move on with your life without them. Besides, you deserve better than that! Good luck to you and remember: what comes around goes around!
2007-01-25 08:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely forgive them. Forgiving is always the best way. It releases you from it and allows you to move on freely. As for continuing with the friendships, civility is always best, but don't allow yourself to be set up for another hurt.
By taking the high road you can feel good about yourself and set a wonderful example for the people around you watching how you handle a difficult situation.
2007-01-25 08:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by lindo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you know i am going to be honest. If i was in your situation i would be angry, and it would be hard for me to forgive both of them. That is one of the reasons why I don't tell friends all about my love life, i might tell them bits and pieces. Here is why i don't, okay now ur friend might be single, and you start telling how good of man he is and how he treats u, etc. They get jealous and curious and might grow fond of the guy you like. But, anyway i know that you are hurting...and eventually u have to forgive and move on. But, i say take your time in forgiving them, becuz majority of these people will say forgive them, knowing that it would take them a while to heal. But, just hang in their and i am so sure that you will find someone for you. God bless you!
2007-01-25 08:10:29 · answer #8 · answered by muslimah4life91 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being immature, you have every right to feel betrayed. If I was you I would drop their friendships. Good friends don't do that, as my mom always said with friends like that you don't need enemies. Get yourself some new friends and watch what you say to people until you really know them.
2007-01-25 08:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends are an important factor in life...without them, who would we go to when we have a need for companionship...or being individual, apart from the way they even think! So, your in control, whether or not to keep this person as a friend, or an acquaintance. Forgive and forget, that's what life's about...difference of opinion and hardships!
2007-01-25 08:08:11 · answer #10 · answered by HotInTX 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should forgive them, but not for their sake, it's for yours. When you harbor unforgiveness in your heart, it makes you bitter and cold and prevents you from happiness in your life. So even if they are NOT truly sorry, forgive them. That way you can move on with your life and not be angry inside. But forgiving them doesn't mean you have to continue the friendship. If you're really repulsed by them, you can never really have them as friends again anyways.
2007-01-25 08:09:26 · answer #11 · answered by Luvly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋