Why do I feel like a child around women?

Question

Why do I feel like a child around women? Im a 32 year old woman. When I hit my teens my mum wasn't great at the Mum thing. In fact the last time I had a hug of my Mum was when I was 24 years old. No I'm not a lesbian before the smart remarks come in. My mum has tried to treat me like a child for years and still tries too. Am I looking for a role model or a mother figure??What is it?

Answer 1

I'm 27 I have a 7 year old child and own my own house, but my parents still think of me as a child They even came ot visit me in Germany one year and tried bossing me around when we were out downtown on new years and yelling at me like a child in the middle of the city.... I think it's just something that with them! :-P I don't know what you mean when you say you feel like a child... I don't think a time will ever come where you personally feel OLD...

I know this woman who is in her 70's and she said her children ask her - "At what age did you actually realize.... that you're old?" and her reply to them was Never! Its just something that happens gradually you're never really aware of it. I mean you look at yourself in the mirror and sometimes you look like a stranger, you body may ache and you are less physically able but you never think that you're old. If you're young at heart don't fight it, just be you. If you seek the comfort of being around older people, maybe you can volunteer at a nursing home, I know that I also enjoy the grandparent feeling. (NOT in a weird way)

Answer 2

My mom was very much like yours - she did not show physical affection but rather showed the affection in other ways (sometimes had to look real hard). To her you will always be her child - it is time that you admit that you are her child but that you are also your own self with your own thoughts and opinions - if you disagree about something say so and agree to disagree. Because of this type of relationship you feel uncomfortable and also lack confidence when you mix with other women especially those that are your age or older - you probably get along better with men - they are less complicated :-)). Have you thought that maybe you are hanging around the wrong circle of women - I did that - tried to do the feminine, soap opera, shoe addict thing - but it wasn't me! I like social issues, politics, public speaking - watch Discovery and National Geographic channels- prefer to read science fiction, thrillers and the newspaper rather than Mills and Boons. You are you and be proud of it - don't change yourself to fit into what you think you should be - be yourself and you will attract people with like minds that treat you as an equal or even as an expert in your favourite topic!

Answer 3

Nina,
I think that your assessment of yourself is accurate. You seem to be looking for a mother figure, because you were never nurtured by your own. That's perfectly normal in a situation like yours. I think that you should seek counseling if at all possible. If this is not an option for you, try daily self-affirmations. You are an adult woman now, equal to any woman around you. Keep saying and thinking this until you finally believe it. Good luck to you and I'm sorry for your mom's emotional absence. You deserve better.

Answer 4

You need to sort out your feeling for your mum before you can begin to know how to behave and how to feel better around other women. It seems to me you have some unresolved issueswith your mum. Perhaps a professional counsellor would help you identify how you feel about your mum's treatment of you and how you can begin to grow up and move on.

Answer 5

Yes, a surrogate mother. You probably seek out older women and feel more comfortable with them. Parents have a lot to answer for.

Answer 6

Move far away from your mother and gain independence.

Move on with your life.