OK I do not understand?

Question

Can somebody tell me why men always have to be right. Why do they insist that they bring home the bread while women work just as hard all day long, plus cook, clean, feed, prepare for the next day, bathe, get kids to sleep, etc.-and we never have time to ourselves or even get to think about ourselves, yet we are expected to never say a word about it while our lazy husbands sit on the couch and watch t.v. bc they worked for a whole 8 hours--I really don't get this

Answer 1

At least he lets you use the internet

Answer 2

The men who are still like this are this way for a number of reasons. One reason is because their fathers were like this, and this was the role model they grew up copying....another reason is that their mothers were brought up to be subserviant and stay home, keep the house, care for the children and wait on their husbands. This cycle does not, and WILL not stop as long as it's allowed to continue. This is the 21st Century...women are no longer viewed as second and third class citizens...at least not in the United States...and if there are some women who are still living that way, then it's their own fault, and evidently their choice. Communication about this sort of thing is extremely important BEFORE two people decide to get married. Even more so today, couples have to learn how to communicate, compromise in order to set guidelines and boundries in their relationship. If a man, in the relationship ends up being unreasonable, then the woman needs to be together enough and strong enough to walk away from what is obviously an unhealthy situation.

Answer 3

Ouch! My wife has the same rights I do, the right to live a happy and guilt free life being the most important of any. We chose each other, and know who we are as individuals. If you chose your life partner, it's up to you to put the waa waa's away and work on positive relationship reinforcements. both my wife and I have worked many long hours... 10's 12's and 16's, it all goes in the nest. I've changed diapers, repaired appliances and cars, cooked and cleaned, went without so the kids could get extra junk, and so has my wife. Bottom line ....It takes two, and if the two don't have a rhythm...STOP, TALK, put yourselves in check and get back on the track. Yes , you are a valuable asset to the family ( of utmost importance ), but you must respect your mate the same as you want respect. I felt the same way as you, being a husband and father, my wife saw I was down and she made my box lunch one day and when I opened it, she had carved in a banana..." I appreciate all you do..I love you" When I got home that night , (after all the heckling on the job site) I took her out to dinner and explained, " I really needed that, it woke me up to my selfishness" I take NOTHING for granted anymore. I am ever thankful for everything she does, and have been for 20 years.

Answer 4

Basically men (or women) do what we allow them to do. You don't only raise the kids, you also raise your husband (wife). If you would have delegated work from the get-go, it would not have turned out like this. A relationship is supposed to be team work in every area of it and a continuing process of give & take. It just doesn't change over night. Would probably help if you sat down when the two of you have some quiet time and tell him in a calm tone of voice (not accusing) how you really feel and how he could help to make life easier. Let him know that he also would benefit from a more relaxed wife, as well as the kids ;-)
If moma aint happy - nobody is happy

Answer 5

That is the stereo-typical way how things use to be, but it doesn't have to be that way??!! Now...if the husband is the only one working and bringing home the income...yes..I would have to agree that if the women is at home she should at least do certain chores, because the husband is busy working to make the money. Now...if both the husband and wife are working it should be equal-opportunity for both. Their is no reason why certain things can't be divided up between the both. If a man insist that the women should do the household chores and still have a 9-5 job....someone needs to set some ground rules that it doesn't work that way with you....OR leave him!! If this applies to you.....

Answer 6

You should talk to him about equality in the home, keeping in mind that he does work. That does not mean that your man should not help out around the house. But that also does not mean that it should be a 50:50 split if he's also working 8 hours a day. Work is demanding, stressful, and tiring. Bear in mind that you are one half of the family as well, and urge him to take up some of the duties while acknowledging that, since you are at home, you're responsible for your fair share of the homemaking duties. Stress fairness and don't get ahead of yourself.

Aside from that, I always found the best way to change people is to put the onus on them. For instance, when I found that no one changed the toilet paper when a roll was completed, I started taking the empty rolls and putting them on people's beds until, if only to stop from finding them on their pillows, they started changing them themselves. By taking advantage of non-confrontational situations, you can influence people without all the baggage that comes from a screaming match. So maybe stop having dinner ready for him and the like. But don't take it too far and boycott everything - it is a two way street, and if you want it to be that way, you'll need to set an example.

Answer 7

You got one hard nut!

Do not fly into rage. But, women do many things the same ways or the same things in many ways. The shoots or off-shoots of such serial acts can not be plausibly argued or resolved when given 2 are within the institution of marriage. Believe it or not man remains thoroughly confused many-a-time by wife's overindulgence in works or unnecessarily dropped capabilities to manage things single handedly (including that of children) when the picture is being painted with blue color.

The problem is generally with the present/current profile, but when everything is OK in the present then women get slack to carve out the shared future (grooming the joint responsibility). It is an inter-personal problem and, joint management depends on the motive that kids provide to this relationship.

One should not make oneself totally predictable even to the spouse, and rather each should reserve elements of surprise for keeping the relationship caring, curious and contributive.

Answer 8

Well, I dont think you can label all men this way. I dont think this way and know it is super hard being a mother. It might be from that I was only raised by my mom.

Either way try to talk to him about it or try to read some books about it. I think mostly you probably just want some attention from him and jsut some credit for how much work you do for the family. He may pay the bills but you keep everyone together which I find the most important.

If nothing else work just go back to work for awhile and see how he likes life like that :)

Answer 9

Sounds like you and honey have some issues you really need to discuss! Does he help with the children in any way? Does he have household jobs? Do you have a full time job? If you are a stay at home Mom, there used to be a site out there that showed a breakdown of how much you would be worth in the real world and doggone it, I can't find it right now, but it is priceless, and helps to bring a well needed discussion around.

Answer 10

As far as being right all the time, I think it has something to do with the testosterone levels and who they hang with - some are worse than others. As for the rest of it, we only have ourselves to blame because we put up with it. We obviously didn't go far enough in the bra burning days. We made a lot of progress for womens rights in the workplace; unfortunately, instead of making changes both in the work force and in the home, we tried to be supermoms and do it all. (And I'm not sure what we were trying to prove.) What we wound up with is a society where a good number of women have to work to help pay the bills, but where they are still expected to do all the things women have traditionally done - cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, shopping, carpooling, etc. - and, oh yes, don't forget, be ready, eager and perky for that special man in our life to hit the bedroom door at night. Obviously, a lot of changes still need to be made.

Answer 11

Because thats the way it was when the man went to work and the women stayed home and raised the kids and the woman took care of the house then the womens lib came about then the woman had to give her input dont anyone realize that this is when kids started doing what they wanted they had no more care for family values or even respect because they did not have that upbringing when their mother was at home teaching them disapline because she had to get her imput on the work pl;ace after she burned her bra this is how most of the family breakdown started with alot of carring on at the work place and this was the cause of the fall of the american family structuer