long distance relationships?

Question

Anyone have any stories where their long distance relationship has worked? How far apart were you? How often did you see each other? Did one of you have to sacrifice a move to be with each other?

I am in a distance relationship myself right now, and it is going really good. It gets tough at times, but we just make sure to make communicating or number one priority and traveling to see each other as often as possible. I am just starting to get scared about one of us having to sacrifice a move to be with each other... which one of us is going to give up our job and current life in the city that we are currently living in??

Answer 1

I used to not believe in long distance relationships. I had a couple in my younger days and they didn't work out, so I swore against them.

Then I met my husband at an Army school in Georgia. He was stationed in Georgia and I was stationed in Hawaii. We had a wonderful, intense relationship during those few weeks of school. Heck, I practically lived at his house after we got together. Then, school ended and I went back to Hawaii. It was about three months before I got to go visit again, and my flight was delayed leaving the island because of 9/11. We switched off on visiting each other every three months and after a year of coupledom I got stationed in Germany. I was in Germany about 6 months before he was able to visit me. His Army contract ended and he tried to get a job in Germany but was unable to, so he got a job in Bosnia. I found out I was pregnant, and I got out of the Army and moved to Bosnia to be with him. We lived there for a couple of years (came back to the states and got married when our daughter was 6 months old). We moved back to the States, but he went away to Iraq to work. He was able to visit us once after about 6 months, worked another 3 months and then came back for good.

My husband and I have been together almost 6 years now, married for almost 3. As long as you keep the communication going, it will work out.

Answer 2

Hi...I met my man on vacation. We lived 2500 miles apart (east coast versus Arizona). We decided we liked each other and traveled regularly to see each other. I made my trips as long as I could (worked it with my work schedule) so that we got to know each other as best as we could. Traveling long distance is not real life, do not think otherwise.

We talked over time every day. We saw each other at least 1 week out of every 6. It became more frequent as we got serious. We tried to do real life things and avoid the fantasy of how perfect things felt.

After 1 year, we decided to make a move. I do not believe that we could have survived longer than that. It may be different if you have lived near each other and then moved away from each other. Either way, he moved to the East coast since my job is very good and his is more portable. We considered both directions, but the income difference for me was a lot and virtually none for him.

Long distance can be very hard. I didn't mind too much but it was that maddening kind of love. We now have been together almost 2 years. It is real and it is not a fantasy. If we did not live in the same area, it would not have worked. But a year seemed long enough to decide if it was worth making the "sacrifice".

By the way, if it really feels like a sacrifice...then just date other people. Settling will haunt you later. Communicate and be realistic. In our case it worked. But I would say that few are willing to commit to the degree that we did.

We got married last October. We still are happy.

Answer 3

I have been in a long distance relationship for about 15 months now and it's working pretty good. It's tough not seeing each other, but I'm sure you're learning that in some ways it's beneficial. It forces us to get to know each other better. We have seen each other as often as possible, which used to be about once a month for 10 days at a time, but since his promotion a few months ago has taken him even farther away, we are seeing each other about every 6 weeks and not quite as long a duration. We talk on the phone a LOT (every morning and every night, a total of at least 2.5 to 3 hours daily). Yes, one of us has to move if we are going to continue being together, and we are-- in fact, we're engaged and will be getting married soon. I'm the one who's moving, which is a tough decision but ultimately worth it. He can't move here because he'd basically have to give up his career for that. I'm more easily uprooted in that sense. Hope this helps. I wish you well.

Answer 4

I dont think anyone WANTS to have a long distance relationship. Life happens and gets in the way, you just have to work around it. If someone wants to be with their long distance BF or GF enough/or they love them enough, they will move to where the other person is and quit the long distance thing. Those people who have relationships over the internet or out of state "just because" are probably wasting their time. Long distance relationships wont last if there isnt commitment.

Answer 5

Im in a long distance relationship myself. Im in Canada and hes in Atlanta Georgia. We've been together for almost 3 years and we're engaged now. We're going through the fiance visa process so I can move to be with him. Its easier for me to move there. Hes had a job hes been in for over 15 years now, so it just makes sense. Plus the cold weather up here sucks. I do the same as you are with communication everyday and I go to see him every few months for up to a month at a time for each visit. Its hard having to move and leave everything you have behind, but look on the bright side, you'll have the person you love living with you, and y'all can start your life together. You can always go back to where you came from for a visit. I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you!

Answer 6

My relationship has been nothing but long distance. And weve been together 5years! This past year was the longest we've ever been together and it's been fantastic. We are married, it's just he is in the army and constantly away or going to war.(afghanistan for a year, now Iraq for 18mos) It's his job. It really depends on the persons involved. If you can overcome the distance factor, keep a level head and not get to jealous, it can definantly work. Be truthful and understanding to the fact that love is sometimes compromise. I moved away from my family, friends and school to be with him. I was upset, but it was the best decision ever. I've never been happier. I hope everything worls out for you!

Answer 7

Well I know how you feel my boyfriend job moved him to Houston for more money and it does get hard at times and from my point of view the key is communication. I know he maybe 8 hours away but we agreed before he left that I would visit him and he would come back to see me. If I had to make a choice to either stay here or move I would weigh all options first before making any life changes. What I mean is weigh the options of you finding a job, leaving family and do you really care for this person that much that you are willing to change everything in your life for them?

Answer 8

My husband has been gone since last April. He is 8000+ miles away. We have physically been with one another once for 3 weeks and we are 6 weeks away from our next visit. We both have a webcam to visit with one another, and keep it spicy. We also talk via internet or instant messaging once or twice a day. Indeed, it is a major sacrifice. Without these tools it would never last.

Answer 9

You really can't make love over the phone. A long-distance relationship is just too hard on both you guys.
If the love is there both of you would step up and offer to move to join the other.
I personally think it sucks and it did not work for me. You need to be with the one you love to really get to know them.

Answer 10

i had a long distance relationship once well it seemed long kent - essex when u love some 1...... n e way i ended up finishing college and moved 2 essex had a great job and was gettin on wiv my fella really well but some how it went wrong i dont know how but it didnt work i hope every thing works out for you