My 11 year old step daughter has a boyfriend and her mom is encouraging and supporting this!?

Question

Am I wrong for thinking that is totally crazy to be dating and have boyfriends at 11?

Answer 1

I'm going to go with "her mom thinks it's cute". It's like when my 5-yr old cousin said he had "two girlfriends" and I cracked up because, hello, he's five! It's nothing serious or real, it's just words.

But 11 is totally different than 5 and while this mom probably still sees her daughter as a little girl and thinks the bf/gf relationship is "cute", she doesn't realize that there are probably kids in her daughter's class that go further with their boyfriends or girlfriends than she realizes. This is the age when her mom needs to start saying, "okay, you can't date right now because you are too young to put yourself through that" or at least be very involved in her daughter's life and what is happening. Staying involved is the best way to protect her kid. Kudos to you, it IS crazy.
But it's reality.

Answer 2

No first of all what is a 11 year old doing with a boyfriend? Not saying that she can not have friends but dating at age 11 should not be prohibited by/or the mother or the father. The mother is not looking on the consequences on what will happen if she gets pregnant or contract a sexual transmitted disease what will she do then. Try to encouraging your step daughter that to be parent at age 11 will take away all of her privilege to have fun as a child.

Answer 3

I had boyfriends at 11, but it didnt consist of anything more than a title, and occasionally talking to each other on the phone. It depends on what her mom is encouraging...If she is just being supportive, then I dont think think there is anything wrong with it, but it she is encouraging them to spend time alone, hold hands, kiss, then I could see where you would be upset...this is the age where all this begins...sorry. Just make sure you keep an open line with her and know what is really going on, so that you can give her the proper advice and supervision she needs and will need throughout these trying years...Good luck

Answer 4

No, of course not. The woman across the street has been encouraging that behavior in her son since he was 11 (including "Rich'n'Amy" smooches in the driveway), and now that he's 15 and not a father yet is the greatest tribute to his character that I can image. I heard another neighbor woman ask a 6 year old boy why he didn't have a girlfriend already!

You know the consequences, Dad. Keep talking the good talk and fighting the good fight. We mature, rational people are with you 100%. Just be ready to pick up the inevitable pieces.

Answer 5

It depends on what their relationship is like. I had a boyfriend during my middle school years but we didn't even hold hands! He was more of a friend who I could relate to and only our friends referred to us as boyfriend and girlfriend. If it goes beyond that, then there is a cause for concern. Her father should be involved and find out what exactly is going on, since kids these days are maturing a lot faster. You also have to make sure your step daughter has her priorities straight and continues to focus on school instead of boys. I've had tons of boyfriends in the past and finally settled down with one at 16 (he's now my fiancee) and after 7 years together, we finally realized it was time to start a family..this was after college and a career. It all depends on the situation as a whole.

Answer 6

Yes it is wrong to encourage it. Kids are becoming sexually active at young ages now days. Make sure the step mother knows you and your husband do not approve. Also, if you have not had the birds and the bees talk now would be the time. It is probably just innocent between the two of them, but better safe than sorry. Good Luck

Answer 7

i think they should be able to have a bf at 11 if they r mature..... but NO dating, only seeing each other at school and group things... when i was 11 i didnt have a bf.. i think the proper age is 12, but then again if she is mature.. also her mother is encouraging it? if i was the mom i would be like, ok, or like, but ur not going to the movies w/ him, ect. and it is ok if if she is supporting this, i have a friend who has had a bf ever since she was 10, she is now 13 and w/ the same guy, and they are very happy, and her mom even says they look cute together ect. if she is in middle school then it is deffinatly ok... y else do u think they have dances

Answer 8

Yes it is.My daughter is 12 and at 11 goes to Guides and has fun with her girlfriends.What about her dad?Does he have a say?Are you sure the mother is encouraging this and the girl is simply out of control?Sorry I had to ask this.Try and involve the girl in other activities.I think you should speak with her father about this as getting pregnant is a concern.

Answer 9

Lots of girls have boyfriends at age 11, but they aren't really dating the way we think of it. They may or may not talk to each other at school, they might talk on the phone and will probably get each other a small gift at Valentines, Christmas or on their birthdays. Unless she and her boyfriend are going out unattended and you suspect they are sexually active then you really shouldn't interfere. If her mother approves it's her call. What does her father think? I am assuming that the girl lives with her mother. If she lives with you then I would let her father make the decision.

Answer 10

Well, before you flip out, ask yourself this:

is it really a boyfriend-girlfriend thing? In my school, 7th grade relationships arent considered "real". Its our first time when we can really get a feel for what dating is like. Besides, how long have they been together? A boyfriend could be nothing more than a close male friend, that hangs out more than other male friends.

If its a serious relationship, just make sure they know to be safe and all.