I believe you have to work on a marriage in trouble, especially with kids....but what about a marriage that is getting worked on like a car? A bad car? a car that needs a transmission, muffler, brakes, the works? and things are alright and you love each other-great we rock, right...but then ...like the revolving door-you're right back where you started.....is this because it's only been 3 years? tell me after 10 years it's better......right?
2007-01-25 07:01:01 · 25 answers · asked by Virgo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe a brief separation can help the both of assess what you mean to each other.
2007-01-25 07:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by chevy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage counseling. I've been married three years too. It's called hard work and commitmennt! You never "win" in a marriage. It's about you and your husband not about just YOU anymore. You need to figure out what you're doing to cause problems in this marriage. You need to change them for good if you want to stay married to this man. Things are going back to their old ways because you haven't looked at yourself and said, well there are a couple of things that I need to work on and I'm going to start now. Yes, it takes two, but you need to make the first move since you're worried about it. Take a long hard look at yourself and you know what you're doing to make this relationship bad, you need to get real and fix it or else your hubby will be long gone with another woman to fill his needs.
2007-01-25 07:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Three years and you both are power struggling? Usually 7 years commonly referred to as the 7 year itch, you have ups and downs. After 10 years you should be moving a little bit smoother. Seek out some help, maybe a marriage councilor. Good luck.
2007-01-25 07:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not always the answer, and often staying married is not the answer either.
Dear,
Get his attention, make a date or an appointment with him. Tell you have to talk without interruptions. Don't tell him what its about til you get him alone and he knows its talk time. Then tell him in as few words as possible. Something like:: "this crap ain;t working and I'm think about leaving" is far better than pouring out your heart to him. He will not understand your heart. He will understand "your leaving". When he ask whats wrong-just tell him in less than a minute-no long stories. Tell him you are not happy and why. If he wants to know what he can do about it-be ready to tell him-again-in as few words as possible.
If , after this he will not listen-then divorce is looking better. If he listens, and makes an effort- you better meet him half way.
Good luck
2007-01-25 07:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by Desperado 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends, they say the first 5 years are the hardest, if you both are young I would venture to say it will be more than 5 years of hard times, good times too. I tried for 8 years, and it was heartbreaking to leave and have to make that decision with 2 kids, I'm okay now, but wish I would have kept trying longer
2007-01-25 07:52:57 · answer #5 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your long list is comparing apples to oranges. The argument is about what is a marriage and whether people have the right to impose a totally different definition on the public. We all know what a marriage is and why it is the building block of all civilizations, past or present, or future.
2016-05-23 23:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still arguing and fighting then it seems there is other stuff going on. Marriage counseling could be a possibility.
I think that when you are not fighting anymore and have talked through everything openly and honestly and just do not have it , then you are ready for a divorce.
I hope that made sense to you.
If you are fighting then you are not ready for divorce because you guys still care.
2007-01-25 07:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Sicily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are both stubborn and passionate. People tend to think divorce is the right choice because they think they can pull themselves out of that "crappy" situation. What they have to realize is that "they" put themselves in that situation to begin with...and guess what, they will do the same with someone else. It would greatly benefit both people to go to counseling and attempt to figure out what is causing all of the fights and address them. Oh and if you both do not address the issues at hand and learn to communicate, you will not make it to 10 years. The grass is NOT always greener on the other side.
2007-01-25 07:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by mvas800 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could, i have been hoping ofr a long time mine would get better, but like the car, each thing seems more and more expensive. If you two cant get things worked out and settled and agree on a method to solve future problems, then the patern will never change. Im me and i would luv to talk to you, amybe give some adivce or suggestions
2007-01-25 07:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by DDDDDDD D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, I know exactly how you feel. Only thing is that i am the husband. I have just hit the 3 year marker and am in the same boat...I understand relationships need to be nurtured but it seems like every other day, something seems to spark and theres a fight. Not quite sure what to do.....frustrated!!!! Email me at reeltimesniffer@yahoo.ca if you'd like to vent!
2007-01-25 07:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by reeltimesniffer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found out, that especially when kids come along, the trouble really starts. I told my wife i don't want kids mainly for the reason that they sometimes bring people together, but mostly I notice they tear couples apart. Are the kids the root of the problem? You need to find the "root" of your problems.
I'm scared as hell to have kids and I don't feel I'm wrong.
thanks and best of luck
2007-01-25 07:55:01 · answer #11 · answered by godzillasagoodman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋