all my best friends are so outgoing and fun, im not.....?

Question

we always have a great time together, but i admit that i hate when i sit there, laughing at what they say, hardly ever contributing my own comments bc im really shy. I would really like to be outgoing, funny, and loveable like them.. any tips?

ps im 17 if that helps at all..

ps. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont say, just be yourself. or treat me like im a child with the, when you grow up... crap.

Answer 1

You can "act" your way into being more outgoing! It's a decision you make. I'm not saying you should be phoney, but say to yourself that you're going to "act as if" you were outgoing for a week or two! That will be your own private secret. As a shy person, I bet you are "internally" witty and have great thoughts and observations--you just don't verbalize them because you're insecure. So when you "think" of these things to say, just program yourself to "say" them and "act as if it is easy." If you can't accept your shyness, you will have to be brave and try this until it becomes part of your behavior naturally. In school I used to be very shy and insecure about my looks and I had to give 15 minute presentations required by this hideous high school Biology teacher. The only way I got through it was acting as if I were a skilled reporter giving valuable information to others. Had I dwelt on thinking it was "shy me" giving this talk I would have fallen apart, so "playing that role" helped me fake it. Years later at my job I had to give viewgraph presentations to managers and I pretended to be a confident speaker and faked my way through that until I built up confidence. I looked around at the crowd's reaction and at the other speakers and realized I wasn't so bad and I also realized they were scared to talk also! So in summary (1) speak what you are thinking and, (2) "act like" you have an outgoing personality and one day you will stop acting it. By the way, outgoing people aren't always witty, funny, and lovable. Some of them can be obnoxious. I don't mean your friends but don't think "outgoing" qualities are always a sign of strength. Plenty of jerks are outgoing and phoney. Shyness can be charming as long as you are approachable.

Answer 2

At 17 you should be having the time of your life. If your not comfortable with these people enough to let go and have fun, maybe your hanging around the wrong people. I understand shyness but that's when you don't really know someone. The discomfort tells me that it has nothing to do with being shy. If you get with the right people, it will all come naturally.

Answer 3

i got some tips for you

- Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves - so ask questions. Come up with a list before you go out with your girlfriends, i.e., How did you meet so and so? Where did you go to school? Have you seen the new scary movie? And so on.

- When you fumble, turn the subject to the other person. Whenever you find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off, try saying something like “And what about you?”

- Listen to what the other person is saying! This is important. Instead of fretting about what you’ll say next, still the wheels of your mind and listen. If a man tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc.

- Smile. People respond well to people who smile. No need to grin like an idiot, but a disarming smile will get ‘em every time. Smiling conveys friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible. Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing in a mirror before you leave the house.

- Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe deeply and slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable (your face has become so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself and go to the restroom.

- Compliment the other person. Sincerity is key, so find something you like and mention it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even his shoes. No need to go overboard: “Nice shoes,” will do it.

- Stay on top of current events. You don’t necessarily want to bring up your stand on the new Bush speach during a first meeting, but be able to discuss less controversial issues intelligently.

- Remember the weather! Some people have the “gift of gab,” the ability to make strangers feel like they’ve known them forever. They are fearless about talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy people worry that talking about mundane things will make them appear stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the weather affect everybody. People relate to them.

- Hold your head up. It’s the simplest, most effective way to look confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous smile of yours, gives you a “winner’s vibe.” You’re guaranteed to be a hit!

hope this helps...

Answer 4

You are loveable, you must be, or these fun loving friends of yours wouldn't invite you along would they. There's a lot to be said for hardly contributing your own comments as well. If you don't say much, when you do speak they will listen. Also everybody loves an audience, those people who have a lot to say for themselves need somebody who listens and laughs. I'll bet you are top of everybody's party guest list.

There's a tip I learnt working in sales that is fab for any social occasion. You have two ears but only one mouth so spend twice the amount of time listening as talking, trust me, it's one of the best social skills you can have. It makes people feel appreciated. don't change, they love you as you are.

Answer 5

Aw, i comprehend the form you experience because of the fact i'm a similar way -- i used to be worse. I too like to be loud, have relaxing, meet new human beings and all that solid stuff yet whilst i'm by ability of myself i'm getting kinda unhappy, yet i think of this is because of the fact we are bored. we are so used to being around human beings (because of the fact human beings make us happy) that whilst we are by ability of ourselves it looks like we are lacking some thing. you ought to definately think of of issues to do by ability of your self. whether its understanding to your famous music, analyzing a e book which you extremely take exhilaration in, or my famous: watch television (I infrequently have time to computer screen television so whilst i'm no longer busy and that i've got the television all to myself, that's what i do.) i'm beneficial we are no longer ill and we've not got a ailment. this is purely our character trait. What sign are you? i'm no longer too into that zodiac stuff yet some signs and indications are "human beings" persons and taht could have some thing to do with it.

Answer 6

just be yourself... haha na im messin with you... maybe its just your friends u dont feel comfortale around, or its something thats botherin u that wont let u... u just really have to trust them.. they're your friends... maybe thats just your character... nothing wrong with that though... peolple make it seem all bad... so dont even worry about it... im sure ur friends love u just the way u are...