Am I abnormal? I still feel sorry for him and feel guilty about the whole thing 5 years later. I don't take a dime from him in cs and he sees the kids often, him and I are good friends, just wonder why I can't shake this guilt feeling. We both were at fault.
2007-01-25 06:47:54 · 12 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This might sound crazy in this world of blame-the-other-guy, but I think what you need to do is to ask your ex for a meeting time, and then have a nice, long conversation in which you sincerely apologize for every single thing you did wrong about which you feel badly. Seriously. Apology is an awesome cure for guilt. Do it because it will help YOU move on, not thinking in any way that you are doing it for him, and not expecting any apology whatsoever from him. Do it to cleanse your own conscience. Obviously, you are a very conscientous person with a clearly defined sense of right and wrong, who is capable of understanding that someone doing her wrong does not excuse the wrongs she has done. The world would be a better place if there were more people like you with an attitude like that! So, please, for your own mental health, apologize.
2007-01-25 07:27:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and I are alike about feeling the guilt. Mine are because of the two children having a broken home. In my childhood I had both parents so I wonder sometimes what the kids think. You go on and do the best you know how.
I really think your ex should share his responsibility of child support. Not only does this help the kids but helps you.
There are guidelines for CS and even if you don't ask for back support, you can establish a weekly/monthly amount now. Things would be so much better for you.
2007-01-25 07:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not abnormal. You are a good mom and it sounds like a really good person. I only feel guilty in the fact that my girls don't get to have a full time father as a result of our divorce. I pity him a whole lot...after almost three years he still can't let go and move on.My and my bf are the topic of just about every conversation he has with new people and every conversation that we have. It is sad to see someone who treated me like I was disposable while we were married and then once I finally took his advice and got the he!! out, he realized that I was the only one he ever wanted (or so he says). But I have not ever once felt guilty about ending our marriage...
2007-01-25 07:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by babe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel guilty, but my ex says he does (we got separated, and eventually divorced, 6 years ago). I tell him damn right he should feel guilty, cuz he was the one who walked out on me out of the blue one day. But in reality I don't feel resentful or anything, we still talk on the regular basis, and are on good terms. I guess I kinda feel bad for him cuz he's always broke, and can't seem to get his sh1t together, and bounces from relationship to relationship; but it's kind of who he is, he makes his proverbial bed. I have remarried since, to a person who is a complete opposite of this - responsible, successful and brilliant. So yeah, I feel a little bit bad for my ex - he's not a bad person, and he tries hard to do the right thing, he just doesn't seem to have the skills to "get it right".
2007-01-25 07:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're being to difficult on your self. you purely went by a significant technique (surgical operation for C section yet, apparently such as you delievered clearly). You have been in all hazard drained, overwhelemed, exhauseted, and uncertain of your self before everything... you comprehend I even have heard a number of thoughts approximately women folk no longer having that bond. this is lots like the fairy tale we hear approximately getting married. You marry Prince captivating and stay "fortunately ever after". properly enable me enable you comprehend that "fortunately ever after" isn't magic like we improve as much as think of...this is artwork. i've got married a surprising guy and it nevertheless takes attempt this is not magic. So, you may not anticipate magic at each and every 2d in existence. What maximum every person is in all hazard talking approximately is a million) what every person is meant to declare to no longer purely calm you down concerning the delivery yet, additionally to proportion interior the excitment of assembly the hot toddler and a couple of) endorphines are released after delivery which make you happy and whilst the toddler is surpassed to you the happiness can multipuly or with out doubt would be directed on the toddler. (of direction you're happy to have met your toddler! lol) yet, the physique is designed that way. in case you took soreness drugs that would have some thing to make a contribution besides. although, it in all hazard purely took awhile so which you may get well and so which you may experience a family contributors. such as you reported as quickly as she became abode each and every thing clicked and that for the period of all hazard has lots to do with you being on your guy or woman element. solid success!
2016-11-01 06:50:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps the guilt feeling is a feeling of failure that you couldn't make the relationship work out to save the marriage. If you are good friends and neither of you seeing anyone else perhaps you can give it another try and make it work this time with a little effort and counselling.
2007-01-25 06:54:27 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are cheating your children out of what is rightfully their's by not getting child support. The support is not for YOU it is for your children and even if you don't use it (hopefully you're not collecting welfare instead) it can be put into a trust fund or invested for them to have later on in life when they will need it, like for a college education, or to purchase a car or a home. Who are YOU to cheat your children out of what THEY deserve?
2007-01-25 07:00:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get on with your life i don't know what led up to your divorce so i can't say to quit feeling guilty i don't know who's fault it was and it's good your still friend's for the kid's
2007-01-25 07:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you feel guilty because of the kids?
that may never go away. but, i am sure your kids would rather see you guys friends and divorced than married and fighting all the time.
2007-01-25 06:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not me, I got both the kids and she had to pay me child support. We took alot of trips together and saw the country.
2007-01-25 07:41:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋