Why are asian people not very friendly?

Question

I love chinese food but almost every chinese food restaurant I visit, asian people serve me and they don't even look at me or greet me when I'm in their restaurants. I am a good tipper.

Answer 1

You can't generalize. I've had rude service from people of all ethnicities and great service from different types of people, too. Perhaps you live in an area where people are intolerent of Asian people, and those you encounter have a chip on their shoulder, because their environment has made them bitter and intolerant, too. So now they generalize, and whenever a non-Asian person comes into their place of business, they think the person probably hates them.

Next time you encounter something like this, remember the saying about walking a mile in another man's shoes.

Answer 2

First of all, the cheaper the Chinese restaurant, the less service you're going to get. If you go to a Burger King or a McDonald's, I'm sure you'll get close to the same service. So don't expect too much if you're paying $5.95 for a hot and sour soup and an egg foo young.

Second, there definitely is either a language barrier or a cultural barrier or both. If you go to their country, you probably would do the wrong thing too. You'd find that the more assimilated a foreigner is, the friendlier they get.

Third, as a female asian waitress in New York City, smiling at a male customer even in the normal course of business can sometimes be misconstrued as flirting. At this point, you would have to then put up with ogling, inappropriate flirting and at times rude behavior. Combine this with the fact that asian females are almost always portrayed in the movies in a very sexual manner and you've got a really, really annoying situation.

Answer 3

The truth is, Asians don't tip as well when they go to Asian restaurants. Asian restaurants are usually known to have good food with fast service. There are exceptions, of course, but this is how they operate. Asian waiters/waitresses are not assigned to specific tables like at American restaurants. Waiters and waitresses working in Asian restaurants generally share the tips so there is usually no personal service as there would be in an American restaurant. There is simply no incentive to provide exceptional service because the potential increase in the tips will be shared with all the other waiters/waitresses. The key to an Asian restaurant's profit is usually high volume. The prices are cheap and therefore they need to make their profits by selling a higher volume. This is why you will notice that you will get your food much quicker in an Asian restaurant compared to an American restaurant. The waiters and waitresses operate to the business goal of getting more volume. They provide quick service and hope that you get out of there as soon as possible so they can get more customers. This way of operating lend itself to a somewhat cold, distant service approach because if they were too friendly to you, you might stay there longer!

Answer 4

I think it's because there are so many people in such small countries that they have to be a lot more aggressive in all aspects of their lives. In this country we take that for rudeness, but it is a simple matter of success for them. If you notice, when they are working, they are so focused on doing the best that they can at what they do. Americans have a much more cavalier approach to everything. I learned how to say "hello" and "thank you" in Chinese and when I said these two words, I got an overwhelmingly warm response.

The other reason is all of the political rhetoric these days. This rhetoric has been very unfriendly-friendly towards all people that are new to this country. Why wouldn't someone be a little guarded and unfriendly when all they hear on CNN is this negative mentality towards immigrants?!

Answer 5

well, they have worked out that it doesn't really matter if they are friendly or not, you will still go there as you love chinese food, and as you are a big tipper you probably will tip the same however they behave. so they can pretty much go on with their miserable lives as restaurant servers and not have to pretend they are enjoying it.

try not tipping so much or not going there at all and see if it makes a difference.

Answer 6

In some asian cultures, eye contact or overt acts of friendliness are considered overly familiar and rude.

And I've known some very friendly asian restaurant proprietors. The owner of a Korean restaurant in Nashville escorts all of her customers to and from the front door.

Answer 7

Maybe they do not know the language or they have just arrived. Also, in a business situation, they are not like Americans saying "Yo, whaz up" to everyone. Americans are very gregarious people, even western Europeans feel that way about us. Hugging, shaking hands, using one's first name without knowing them personally. Asian culture is a culture of respect. Don't mistake respectful and conservative for rudeness.

Answer 8

As much as I find Scherch31's answer odd in that he seems to say that you cant generalize while at the same time admitting that a certain group may be unfriendly - in general.

My interpretation of this is that if, generally - if the people in "your town" are unfriendly to "the Asians" - in general - then they will be unfriendly - in general.

So what he's really saying is that you can generalize if the defect that is general is your fault- or your generalized group's fault.

What if "they" were nasty to begin with, and so "us" were nasty back - is that allowed? Is it even possible? Or should "us" always assume that "they" must have been friendly to begin with?

Is it at all possible that "they" had preconcieved notions about the intellect of "us"...Or perhaps "they" have certain beliefs in which "they" tend to bestow upon "us" certain guilt of wrongs for percieved past actions by "us"...Or perhaps "they" come from places that do not value or even experience diversity and are uncomfortable being around other people...Or perhaps they werent taught, as children of a diverse society are, that all people and their backgrounds need to be respected and tolerated, and hatred of other groups is a bad thing...Or perhaps even though lacking in the upbringing of diversity, "they", without the normal teachings set forth by ones parents and teachers in a diverse and tolerant society such as ours, still somehow are tolerant of others but merely lack knowlegde of the social customs of the place they are in...Or perhaps the question asker was basing her question off of a small and unrepresentative set of the larger group and her impression is not an accurate assesment of "their" behavior in general....Or perhaps the asker has an unreasonably high expectation of friendliness with regard to Asians....Or perhaps "they" do generalize about "us" as the previous poster stated and are unaware generally that you should not do that if the generalization is inaccurate...

It could be alot of things - if its even true.

But in my experience, people from other countries (I assume they werent native born) or their direct offsping have a hard time adopting the social norms and expectations for common situations.
Remeber most countries where citizens migrate here are not diverse ones, and often their education is overly nationalistic and even skewed. They might have many misconceptions about us (even disrespect of our culture and race) that were taught to them as though uncontested fact.

Remeber Diversity and Tolerance is not a universal goal. In many countries of origin, just the opposite is true.

It is a problem we will have to continue to face....

Answer 9

Hello.
It is not that asian people aren't friendly, I got the same feeling before I started rooming with a Japanese girl. They do not use the same type of gestures as what we do. American's are handshakers and laughers because we are more open to this type of independence. Whereas asians are sociallistic and it is important to them to show humbleness because they are centered more around what their family will think of their behavior. It is not in their nature to use the same greetings. The greetings you are not experiencing by asians is because it is an American greeting that you are looking for.

Answer 10

I am Japanese and I agree with tuffgeye.

However, I would also like to say that restaurants are all about business. They want you to order, eat, and get out.

Most likely if you asked my husband he would say I'm not friendly enough. But I'm too busy.

In my defence, when I go into restaurants or go into stores, I always say "Hello, how are you?"