I've had so many bad relationships . My first boyfriend knocked me up at 16(I'd already left home, after being beaten by my moms husband) and said if I got rid of the baby he would leave me, and at that point I still loved him, he was best at saying "get me a beer b**tch" and going to the bar with his friends while I stayed home, and would grab my throat and slam me up against the wall if I complained. After 5 years in order to get him out of my life I had to let him take my son with him. He ignored our daughter. The next guy cheated on me, the next one cheated and was a closet crack head, the one after that is my youngest one's dad, and he slashed my tires and stole all my food and my coat when I was 8 months pregnant, one time he said he'd bring the baby back at 7, had to go to court to force him to, also got a credit card under my name and racked up 3500 debt for me, one slammed a door in my face and broke my nose, knocked me out so I could wake up and find myself covered in blood.
2007-01-25 06:34:21 · 56 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And to top it all off, the one I'm with now lies constantly, is never home, never contributes, eats everything in sight, sucks in bed, has 50 friends I've never met, rips me off, I'm sure he's cheating, got no proof except his total lack of interest in sex (3 minutes 12 times a year=36 MINUTES of sex per year) hides what he thinks is valuable, insulting me cause he thinks I'd steal from him when he's the thief, he steals money from me, never pays any bills or helps with rent or groceries.
I'm sorry, but I've not seen any of these NICE guys people are always spouting off about. I don't think they exist. I'm sure you all think I'm wrong, but you know what, it really doesn't matter what you think about that because it's not going to do me any good is it? Sorry to all the guys who are actually decent. So, all you decent MARRIED MEN, got any decent little brothers? LOL.
Am I wrong to be so bitter? I don't want to be, but it's hard to be optimistic when nothing good ever happens to you.
2007-01-25 06:41:59 · update #1
oh yeah. What I can't help, and what I wish was different, was that I can't help hating men. Really hating them. It's making me miserable, and I've pretty much given up hope on ever being happy and having a boyfriend at the same time, let alone ever getting married.
2007-01-25 06:43:34 · update #2
Yes I want to vent, and yes I wish I could be a lesbian, I know I'm attracted to jerks, cause the other ones act like women. And when a guy who treats you like crap REFUSES to ever leave, you do what you have to or commit murder. My kids are just fine, thank you very much, do you really think I tell them this stuff? Get real. Yes my picture is accurate, that has nothing to do with it. Maybe I'm attracted to jerks because of the peach my mom married who beat us all until we got big, then we beat the hell out of him, and threw his stick in the fire. I'm totally alone in this life, what the hell is wrong with me venting a little? I'm glad your lives are so perfect you have no compassion for anyone. And have you seen that I've been on my own since 15? No one helped me grow up, or taught me anything. How was I supposed to know what was bad for me until I experienced it for myself?
2007-01-25 06:49:13 · update #3
Skye, no one really knows why guys (me included) act like jerks and assholes. We just do and if any man tells you he's not, he lying and you should run like hell. Just by your photo you look amazing and any guy should be thrilled to show you off,treat you with awe and respect. I hope this helps and good luck, your friend (hopefully) Art
2007-01-25 06:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by Art B 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Wow, our father's sound a lot alike. I'm so so sorry that you have to go through that... it's terrible the way some people think that they can treat others. Hopefully though, one day soon, your father will realize the dumb mistakes he's made throughout your life and will at least apologize, if not more. (We can dream, can't we?!) About your mom: I'm sorry too... I can't really help you there. But I do know how hard it is to stop smoking. I wish things could be better for her. :/ At times, I wished I had a different father. My mom is such a wonderful person, and she's never left my side. I owe everything to her. My dad, on the other hand, has never really acted like a real dad... you know what I mean? He's an alcoholic, suffering from COPD, and he's verbally abused me all my life. He's beat my sisters and I too... it's not like he beats the crap out of us every night, but there's been times where I've woken up with bruises all over my back and chest. I'm just glad he stays away from my younger sister... I'm so scared for her for when I move out. I try so hard to tell myself he's just stressed, and it's not his fault, but sometimes I seriously question whether or not that's true. ):
2016-05-23 22:56:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok listen, in order for this to change, you have to set your standards a little higher. You have children that need to come first, also YOU need to love yourself, respect yourself, or no one else will. If you just 'swear off' men for awhile... concentrate on your children and yourself, you'd be surprised at the 'good' guys that will show up. When you are least expecting it, is usually when it happens. I am worried if one of these boyfriends or fathers hurt your children, what will happen then? There ARE nice guys out there, there really are but that should be the least of your worries right now. Check into some counseling for you and for your children, this would help you in all areas of your life. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-25 07:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by not2bright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No wonder the message you sent was so harsh. Not all men are like the ones you have met, and I can't apologize for them, but would love to kick their @sses (i hate abusive males, had to say that because they are not "men"). I do respect women and I love with all my heart and honor them, but sometimes the women can also be abusers, its on a very small scale, but it can happen and it happend to me. I never laid a hand on her, and believe me many times she deserved it, but I am "man" enough to walk away and I did with my daughters. I am still single, and my daughters have prospered very well, and they mean the world to me. My ex is still abusive and her current boyfriend is also abusive, and they make the perfect bookends when they are together or in jail or in the hospital, by their own hands. I am glad I left when I did. I hope you find peace in life and your a very beautiful woman and I hope you find a man (if your looking) who will treat you the way a woman should be treated. No hard feelings, take care and God Bless.
2007-01-25 06:51:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all, you could have easily reported all these men. Also being the mother of your children, you have more rights to those children and did NOT have to give the first guy that child. That to me is very irresponible as a mother. I had my oldest child at 17 and there is no person on earth that can take my children from me. You fight your butt off to get your children, then if these guys are as abusive, mentally, physically or verbally, go get a restraining order put on them. There are steps you can take if you have custody of your children. The only way a man can take your child away is if they can prove you unfit. You need to give yourself some time and wait for a better guy to come along. Not saying that you are, but stop looking in bars and clubs and just be yourself and let them come to you. You have more going for yourself than some loser guys. Let someone else deal with their crap because you don't have to.
2007-01-25 06:47:06 · answer #5 · answered by lessard_family 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming this is a question, not a vent. With that in mind, I offer you the following answer:
See a counselor. I'm serious. First of all, you have some serious past issues that you need to get off your shoulders, and talking to a trained professional is often a good way to do that. In addition, you need to learn to discern - that's to say, it sounds like you're looking for love in all the wrong places. Take time off from your last relationship before moving on to the next. Take up a couple of hobbies. Build a healthy relationship with yourself. Then, and only then, will you be able to build a healthy relationship with someone else.
Namaste.
2007-01-25 06:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by living_in_a_bell_jar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your pain, I can relate! I have similar stories, they repeat and seemed to get worse each time. I hope this does not sound trite, get therapy from a trauma trained therapist with lots of patience and experience. I did that for 8 years, I am finally seeing change in my life. My therapist recommended I take a year break from dating, I did, it was hard, but, I did it. I started to see the guys I liked were usually wrong for me. I had to go outside my "box" and date guys (a year later) I wasn't automatically attracted to, the attraction came with time. They were not abusive. I asked a lot of questions before I got close at all. For some reason after that my life changed. I have also stopped all relationships and jobs that brought pain or trauma. I moved to a place I love. I am so careful to get close to people, it takes time to trust and that is OK. I have gotten to know myself, sometimes I will head in a direction I know will bring me pain, a bad relationship or a bad job, I stop myself and say NO MORE DRAMA! If my guy starts to bring drama, I put my foot down, his drama is kindergarten compared to what I had 80% of my life. I can finally breathe, I wish that for you. If you can, read anything by Sark, she helped me through so much. Also visit "Sidran" resources for survivors on the web they have a lot of great references. I added the link below, I hope it can help you like it did me! You are a survivor, so am I
2007-01-25 07:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I don't have the answer for you but I can tell you that their are decent men out their. You have to get out of that crap you are surrounded by. You can do better, you seem from the short note to be a good person who has ended up with losers. Hang in their and keep looking for the real thing. If you need a friend to vent on email me and I will listen.
2007-01-25 06:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by sunanfundan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie these things are going to keep happening to you if you do not get your self esteem right. Don't you think you deserve better than this? You have to make the decision to be with someone, doesn't what you want out of the relationship matter to you? If you keep settling for less than what you deserve you are gonna get less than what you deserve, just as simple as that. Seek some advice from a counselor or a therapist, they will tell you the same thing, because I too have been there and done that, I have been single now for going on 3 yrs. I have not settled for less than I deserve, and I have realised that I would rather be alone than to resort to going back to that life. I deserve better, and by golly so do you! It will come to you if you only get yourself right. God Bless You. Peace, love, and joy in your life!
2007-01-25 06:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you wish it were different, but if you do nothing to change that, then it wont be different. What you need to focus on right now is yourself. Get yourself straightened out and your life together by hard work and determination and then fight like hell to get your child(ren) back. Stop worrying about a man and when you do finally start dating, date someone who you would never think of dating. It's your choice in the type of men you choose, as to why these things keep happening. Keep picking losers and you'll always lose too.
2007-01-25 06:47:34 · answer #10 · answered by Danelle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe this seems all made up. this sound so unreal, i'm sorry. the beggingin sounds true, but it gets stranger and stranger. i have difficulty believing it. maybe you should go for a different tyoe of guy. dont go for the first guy u met in high skewl, or some hottie you met in a bar. look for someone who will take care of you, not ram u up against a wall. where do u find these jerks? and have u reported any of them except on yahoo? u need to reprt all of these men, and now. then wen ur done with all the legal standings, find a nice guy who opens doors for u, and doesn't hurt u.....EVER. good luck. God belss you very much.
2007-01-25 06:45:33 · answer #11 · answered by sweety_pie!! <3 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋