My husband just annonced that he wants our 4 1/2 year old son to be there for the birth of his sibling and to help cut the cord. I'm not so sure of this idea. Our son is quite interested in all of this baby stuff, but he has a short attention span and tends to get into trouble if bored. He is also quite empathetic and when he sees me in pain, he gets upset.
If we do this, then I think my mother will also have to be there to take care of him so that my husband can be there for me.
It is a hospital birth, so I will still have to clear it with my dr and the hospital.
What does everyone think???
2007-01-25 06:02:17 · 34 answers · asked by finding_my_dream 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Most of the moms in my homebirthing group have their kids there (I just had my first). Generally the kids are very calm, and yes bored if anything.
Really childbirth ought not be traumatic. However hospital births can be scary.
However if it is ok with your mom to be there soley to babysit then I don't see a problem.
2007-01-25 06:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My son is four and a half also and I'm due monday. We messed around with this idea at first but decided that it's really not a good idea. Seeing you in that kind of pain and witnessing a birth so young without really understanding what's going on could be tramatic for him. That's not really something a four year old should see in my opinion. It will only upset your son to see you like this and well, when the baby comes out and he sees the blood and everything he could get even more upset thinking something is wrong. Wait until the baby is born and let him see the baby all cleaned up and you when you're feeling better. Also, if he gets bored easily and has a short attention span he may be a lot more trouble then help in the delivery room. He could get in the way and aggrivate the hospital staff as well. If I were you I wouldn't allow him in there for that. There is a lot that goes with it and I personally don't think at four years old really understands what's going on and could have a bad reaction to the event. What we are going to do is let my son be the first one to come in the room, after everything is settled, and be the first one to hold the baby besides me or my husband. He's very excited for that part! Make it special for him like that. good luck with everything though.
2007-01-25 06:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by ktpb 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am against allowing a 4 1/2 y.o. cut then cord or witness a birth of anything but puppies or kittens. You have no gaurantee that you will have a problem free delivery, and your son doesn't need to watch you give birth. You didn't let him watch you conceive did you? This is one of those things that should be shared with your husband only. Everyone has the tendency to over-include the family in this type of thing, I just don't get that. I didn't want to perform for an audience when my kids were born, and I certainly would not want to try and comfort one of them while the other was being born. If your husband wants to find away to keep your son involved, I'd let him be the 1st to hold besides you and your husband. Just my opinion, I've been called old-fashioned though.
2007-01-25 06:23:46 · answer #3 · answered by B-Rabbit 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a 4 1/2 year old. He will be barely 5 when the baby is born and is also a big momma's boy - at least as far as when I am in pain or upset. (I step on glass, and he "helps carry" me to the bathroom and puts on the bandaid). I yell on the phone at someone, and he gets pissed off at them too. So I understand where you're coming from. You want him to feel involved with the baby... Although I'm not bringing my son. I think it would traumatize him. And I don't know if he might take it the wrong way - "this new baby just caused a lot of pain to my mom... " But if you're lucky enough to have a daytime delivery, I'd keep him in the waiting room (maybe with a video game or something to keep him occupied) and let him be the first (after mom and dad) to see his new sibling... Good luck! If you're due before July, post your results - I'm interested in seeing how it goes!
2007-01-25 06:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is a great idea! I had my son there...he was also 4 years old at that time...I just made sure that there was someone there to watch him. I did NOT want him around while I was in labor, because it takes so much energy getting the baby out, but once I started pushing and getting close, I wanted him to be part of it so he could share in his brother's birth. I also wanted him to see where babies come from without making it uncomfortable for him. My older son wanted to be part of it, and he was. One thing that I DID do is show moms having babies on TV, so that he could get use to the idea of what to expect. Also, I made it clear to him that he could leave at any time that he wanted to, that all he needed to do is let the person who was watching him know.
I actually liked having him there because it let him be part of it. I mean really, how many brothers can say that they were able to watch their brother born? I think it helped them be closer, because they were able to share something that many siblings don't get.
2007-01-25 06:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by hera 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Too young, and short attention span is a recipe for disaster...I would bring him in right after the birth. My almost 15 year old daughter will be there for the birth of my baby in two months and I think it will be a great experience for her (and she wants to be there). Until the chld is old enough to honestly know all the facts I don't think they're making up their own mind to be a witness, more like your husband is making up the childs mind for him...you have to think about will this benefit your son or not...and in the event that something goes wrong..like you're in labor forever or need an emergency C-section...will your son be prepared enough to not be afraid under extreme pressure???
2007-01-25 06:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by Proud Mommy of 6 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had a friend who did that and im not being dramatic but it scarred the kid. She would not go to the bathroom for 2 years. She went back to using diapers, she was 3 1/2 at the time, she was already potty trained. They had a hard time when she entered kindergaten cuz she was still in diapers. She was afraid to go to the bathroom. So i think your son might be a little too young and why risk the set back. Good luck!!!
2007-01-25 07:25:45 · answer #7 · answered by k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision only you can make. Do you want your mother there? How does your husband feel about that? I think it is a great idea to include the older sibling in the birth so that there is less jealousy and more of a bond. I think cutting the umbilical cord is too much though. I don't think I want my son cutting anything of mine with a pair of scissors....lol
2007-01-25 06:09:42 · answer #8 · answered by wheezerthill 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people do have siblings of the baby in the room w/ them, but I dont agree w/ it, i think it would be way to stressful for a little boy, personally i think if i would have seen a birth when i was younger i probably never would have had kids.
I think you and your husband need to sit down and have a long talk about it and come to the decision of what would be better for your son. Regardless of your decision congrats and I wish you a short easy labor.
2007-01-25 06:12:33 · answer #9 · answered by medleyc1 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let him see you during the early labor stages. Then have your mom and your son wait in the waiting room until after the baby is born. Then, have them come back in to see his beautiful new sibling. My daughter is gifted and also highly interested in the birthing process, but there is no way I would have let her witness the birth of her sister,even if it would have been possible. (I ended up with a c-section at 33.3weeks) She would have had nightmares for weeks on end. These kids are very bright, but they're still just kids. They need to grow up one day at a time not all at once. Congrats and Good luck!
2007-01-25 06:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋