Did you work hard in school for good grades and end up disappointed with life?

Question

I'm really proud of my son. He works really hard to get good grades and wants to go to college and believes he will get a good career after college.

Have I set him up for disappointment with the idea that good grades and good college and living a moral life will get him a good life as an adult?

I'm a high school drop out, so I'm not sure how many kids who followed the work hard in school ended up with good careers after college. I'm just worried that by telling him this path is the way to go that I might be talking about something I know nothing about.

Answer 1

No, you did the right thing. Having a college degree with put him a headstart above others that don't. Reaserch has shown that those with degrees earn more than $20k plus over their counterparts that don't. Even if your son doesn't get an college degree, as long as he has a good work ethnic, he can work his way up a decent position.

Sometimes it's also about the people you know. Your son maybe lucky and be good at networking with people.

Answer 2

yes you have set him up for disappointment because having good grades and going to a good college and living a moral life does not guarantee anything. I know people with excellent science grades( 3.5 and higher) with masters and PHDs and they are doing medical research making less than people that I know with just high school who took a factory job. I can't even say anymore that the person with the factory job is less secure than the researcher because with the economy the way that it is, no job is secure. I thought nursing was the most secure however in my area the state is closing down 4 hospitals. There are many careers like that, which used to be secure as long as you had your diploma. Now there are engineers who are sales people, or school teachers who are doing other things besides teaching. Basically you can have whatever degree but your real success in life depends on what you make of it. Just having a degree does not cut it anymore.

Answer 3

It is not the good grades he worked hard to acheive but that he learned how to work hard to get the good grades. Many college kids assume because they go to college they will be rewarded with a degree and the money will follow. Those people are in for a disappointment. You have to go after what you want and be willing to work degree or not.

Answer 4

Hi Hank, I think you are a great father for comending your son for his good grades and for encouraging him to go onto college. Truthfully college may or may not earn him a great life but not attending college will definitely put a huge damper on a good life, college does more than earn you a degree it gives you a sennse of life that you would miss out on without it. I know both life styles. I am 34 years old and I am in my second year of college trying to get my degree and in two years I have learned more than I did in the first 34 years of my life. In other words I am very disappointed that I didn't go to college before I had a family of 5. As a parent I know that all we can do is do what we think is best for our children, that alone should get them through life what is left is up to them with your undying, unconditional love and support. I hope this helps! Please tell your son I said good luck at college and don't worry Dad he will make it just fine. God Bless!!! Claire

Answer 5

Well, speaking from experience. I went to college, I worked all through college-I had to, I needed to pay for food, cost of books and spending cash-and I managed to receive decent grades all through school. I graduated on time, with honors, all this while being highly involved with extracirricular activies on and off campus.
Where am I now? Working a dead end job, where I make 24,000 a year. It's damn right depressing sometimes. Especially when you know people who are making significantly more money then you in a better company, who have less education then you. But then I find people in the same situation as me,unable to land a secure job. It's frustrating.
All i can say is don't pressure him into something he doesn't want. He can find a great job striaght out of high school, and grow with the company and in 10 years he'll be making more money then the college graduate who went to school for 4 years and has been working for 6.
Hope this just gives you some food for thought.

Answer 6

How wonderful that you have encouraged and supported your son in pursuing higher education. Kudos to you.

"Have I set him up for disappointment with the idea that good grades and good college and living a moral life will get him a good life as an adult?"

You have given him the opportunity to be an upstanding man with the tools to have a great life. The rest is up to him. Statistically, college graduates make far more money. Many more doors are open to him, but he needs to be willing to walk through him. There are no guarantees but you have given him the greatest gift. It is now up to him.

Answer 7

Hang in there. Life is not always going to be easy and sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before things start looking up again. I know. I've been there. As far as being lazy, conceited, and lying well you are the only one that can change that. Try getting a job if you don't already have one. You may meet some new people that you can get along with, you'll have more confidence, and you will have some money and your parents will be proud that you are trying to accomplish something. Also if your ex girl sees a change in you she might give ya another shot. Set small realistics goals for yourself as far as trying to complete something that you have started.....GOOD LUCK TO YOU

Answer 8

I worked very hard in high school to get good grades. It was my hope I would get a scholarship, but ironically those all went to the rich, popular kids who could afford college anyway. That was a huge disappointment. So looking back, I definitely would not have tried so hard in high school seeing that it certainly didn't give me anything to show for it.

I didn't try as hard in college but still did well and got decent grades. I wish I had known sooner that my major (BA in psychology) doesn't allow you to get a very decent job.

It doesn't hurt to encourage your son. It's better for him to be focused and do well in school. It doesn't guarantee a good job or a great life afterward though. We all have to work at it to make that happen. Good luck.

Answer 9

yes.

it's a global economy now, so he needs to pick a field where he can make a good living - something in science, technology, medical, legal.

I majored in history - don't want to teach and I tried being a paralegal and hated it. Now I work in a financial aid department at a school but it isn't high paying and nothing specialized.

Didn't matter that I made good grades, just that I had a degree.

Answer 10

Good grades and college will be the building blocks of a good
career for your son. It proves he has follow-through which is
a quality he'll use in his non-collegiate life as well. He will be
prepared to go the distance for goals he sets for himself and
be satisfied when he reaches them. Your advise to him has
nothing to do with your lack of a formal education and everything
to do with your intellengence and love. He's lucky to have your
influence. Good job! Personally, I only had average grades
in college but my goal in life was entrepeneurial which turned
out to be successful by applying the hard work ethic. Dissapointment in life comes from your inner being, and has
little to do with your education or morals.