2007-01-25 05:32:32 · 53 answers · asked by Gina C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Her husband also has a drinking & gambling problem. He (in my opinion) is verbally abusive to her. They have three young children under the age of 8. He goes out on the weekends w/out her (He doesnt want her out with him & his friends). She has said may times that she thinks he's cheated on her before, but just isn't sure. I found out from my husband that's who he confessed to and my friends husband knows that I know. (yes my husband is OK with me telling her)
2007-01-25 06:22:14 · update #1
I think you should confront the husband, tell him that either he tells her or you will.....It is his mess to clean up, but at the same time it is your friendship on the line, she could feel very betrayed by you if she found out that you knew and didn't tell her. Give the husband an ultimatum.
2007-01-25 05:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her best bet is to get counseling before making final decisions. My guys ex was a meth addict and that had more to do with ending their marriage than the cheating that may or may not have occurred. The thing is, you only hear one side of what is going on while a counselor gets both sides (usually). As far as what you can do, you can be there for her and listen to her. Other than getting counseling, keep your advice to yourself AND do not gossip about what she shares with you (you would be amazed how many big mouths are out there). Do not hurt her more than she already has been. I also agree with the poster below. Do not talk to her family or other friends. If they work things out, the family is likely to cause more problems.
2016-05-23 22:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by Deborah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know then she has a right to know. Wouldn't you? I would be completely humiliated if I know that I was being cheated on and my friend knew and didn't tell me. What she does with the information, even if she gets angry with you, is up to her now. Holding back a secret like that only protects you, not her. She may feel the pain but at least she will have enough knowledge to make a decision based on the truth.
2007-01-25 05:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by Michele M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its only fair that you tell her. How would you feel if she knew something like that about your husband? I would make sure I have someone to back me up or proof. Trust me, I've been in this situation before. I've been in your position, and I've been in hers. My friends boyfriend tried to get with me, so I told my friend.
She believed me, but stayed with her bf. We're still friends, it's just awkward when he's there. Then a couple of months ago another friend came to me and told me that my now ex-bf cheated on me. At first I didn't believe her, once she showed me the proof, I believed her. Because she was so honest with me, I realized what a true friend she was. I now know I can trust her with ANYTHING!!!! Good Luck!
2007-01-25 06:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by DAVIDSGIRL2923 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I suspected my husband of cheating, I asked my friends about it and they said they didn't know. But they did know and he WAS cheating. So then I felt betrayed not only by my husband but by my friends. It was even humiliating!! When I got proof that he did cheat and asked a few people why they didn't tell me they said that they didn't want to get involved. Most people say to stay out of it. And maybe that is the way to go about it for the most part, but I would definately think of a way to let her know. Anonymously. Think of how you would feel. Wouldn't you want to know?
2007-01-25 05:43:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not asking you because she hasn't a clue, she's telling you that she suspects something and wants to know if she's been a fool and if so, how long. If she finds out otherwise that you knew something and didn't say, that will be a devistating blow for your friendship. Put yourself in her shoes - would you like to be the last to know? It isn't going to be easy but she needs someone she can trust right now and I hope it will be you.
2007-01-25 05:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by Shorty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't tell her that, you let her husband tell her that (don't take the monkey off his back.) I would simply refuse to answer the question, telling her that's something she should confront her husband about. Neither confirm or deny anything she asks, just keep telling her she needs to talk to her husband. You do NOT want to get in the middle of this one, trust me on this!
2007-01-25 05:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's hard. If it happened awhile age you should have told her then. Now if you tell her she may be mad at you for not telling her when it happened. Why would she ask you a question like that anyway? Sounds like to me she knows the answer but is in denial. Tell her to follow her gut feeling. Why ruin you'll relationship.
2007-01-25 05:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by momseekinganswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off.... How do you know he cheated? If its just rumour/heresay.. then don't say anything unless you know for sure.
Secondly.. it depends on... Is he still cheating on her? If he's going to continue doing it.. then he's a dog and he's just waiting to get caught anyways so you might as well tell her. But if think it was an isolated incident, and you think he's HONESTLY learned his lesson and will never do it again, then I probably wouldn't tell her.
2007-01-25 05:41:18 · answer #9 · answered by CEP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't tell her I made the mistake of telling a friend that I saw her husband with another girl and she said I was a liar and didn't believe me at all, besides if you do tell her and she confronts him on it and he denies it your going to be on the outs if they stay together.
2007-01-25 05:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by lori a1966 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋