My husband wanted children more than I wanted children. We tried but have had 4 miscarriages and now I am too old to keep trying. We're signed up for adoption but it may take many years if it happens at all. I also don't think that I want to be a parent to a newborn in my 40's. It's looking like we wont' have children at all. I'm fine with this mostly, but my husband is quite upset. He says he loves me but he feels this void in his heart. He's going for counselling and joining Big Brothers. He says he wants to stay with me, but do you think he could change his mind in the future? Should I just wait and see if he will change his mind?
2007-01-25 05:17:20 · 7 answers · asked by stripedbook 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, if he hasn't hinted at leaving because of the situation, don't worry about it. Surely, you shouldn't leave just because in your mind something MAY happen in the future. Of course, he's upset, he wants kids. He's not upset with you or blaming you, is he? I'm assuming not since you didn't say he was. It also sounds like he's dealing with it constructively. He's joining big brothers to develop a bond with a child and be a role model, and somewhat take the place of a father for someone who doesn't have a strong paternal figure in his life. I think that's a great idea. He gets to have some of what he wants and he gets to provide some child with something that all children need and deserve. I know you're worried, but don't sweat it!!!!! I'll be thinking of you.
2007-01-25 05:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can survive without children, but if this is really what he wants in his heart, he should have the right of being a father too. If you don't, you need to be happy too. I feel for both of you. Pray for a miracle, maybe you'll get your adoptive baby soon!
Try to find someone that might be looking for someone to take their baby. Check into the safe haven law for your state. Most states have it now, where mothers can just drop off their infants no questions asked. Maybe you can get a baby that way. Another thought is to maybe see if a relative or friend, or someone you can pay to be a surrogate mother and just "incubate" a baby for you.
2007-01-25 05:27:01 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know of many marriages that have survived quite well without children, even though they wanted to have kids and couldn't. If he says he wants to stay with you then he is probably sincere. It wasn't the thoughts of kids that brought you together in the first place so why should it break you apart. I know it's very difficult on both of you but if your love is strong nothing will make your marriage fail. Good luck to you!
2007-01-25 05:26:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it sure can... I am so sorry to hear that you cannot have kids... Have you guys looked into foster care and possible adoption? I sure wish you the best and hope that someday you can find or adopt a special child to love and raise... If your husband really loves you then you will not lose him over this.
2007-01-25 05:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i became a BIG Brother it filled the void i had for not having any children. It worked for me. GOOD LUCK.
2007-01-25 05:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes marriage can work without kid but its something you both have to understand if he wants kids its going to be hard for you unless he excepts it. also you can trying this homeopathic remade for conserving and making sure that you don't miss care its called "false unicorn root and vitex" good luck
2007-01-25 05:27:51 · answer #6 · answered by hanusya101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's a cry-baby...he should've realized how lucky he was to have a woman that did not want kids.
2007-01-25 05:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋