Do you think it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex when you're engaged or married? What if the friends were also engaged or married? What if the significant other says it's ok? Is it really ok, or for the most part does it bother them?
2007-01-25 05:02:34 · 29 answers · asked by angel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it's perfectly fine. Because you need your friends, even if they are the opposite sex. My husband is starting to get fed up with all my guy friends, calling me and such. But, one thing he don't realize they are in Ohio I am in Virginia and I havn't seen them for months. I just don't relate to girls as well as I do guys, I grew up a tom boy and being just one of the guys. No one not even your husband/finace can tell you who you can or can't talk to.
2007-01-25 05:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In one word, yes it's ok. In general, I noticed that after my husband and I became serious and moved in together (before we were even married or engaged), my old friends took a back seat to the relationship - and this is how it's been since. I have friends of both genders, but I really don't see any of them very often; my husband and I really enjoy each other's company, and seldom hang out with other people. I think, your significant other naturally takes priority over your friends; as long as this is clear and understood, having opposite-sex friends shouldn't be much of a problem. As long as there's mutual respect and understanding between you and your partner, the friendships can be adjusted to fit into your new life.
2007-01-25 05:14:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's perfectly ok to have friends of the opposite sex when you are engaged/married.
I am engaged myself and a majority of my friends are all male. The most respectful thing to do is to make sure your significant other has at least met or knows who your male friends are. My male friends and fiance agree that if its kept like a secret, that's when problems arise. Trust is the key. Some men find it threatening, but if their is open communication, there shouldn't be a problem.
2007-01-25 05:11:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right, it is inappropriate. Your fiance is now accountable to you and your future together and must learn to set boundaries. The next time you have the opportunity to speak with him do so when this girl has not 'just called him' or 'just asked him for a ride'. I have male friends and I would never do anything that another woman could misconstrue as inappropriate. First of all because I respect myself and secondly because I wouldn't want that done to me This girl sounds needy and like she needs way too much attention. If she had any real female friends she would be calling them to cry on their shoulders. As for the motorcycle thing, tell him to tell her that her joy rides are over. He does not owe her an explanation and should not use you as an excuse. It is sometimes difficult for engaged couples to begin to alter their lives but if you do not get a handle on this before you are married, the issue will not go away and it won't get any easier when you are married and you have higher expectations for his behavior. I am speaking from experience, get this sorted out now. Marriage is about compromise and communication. Marriage does not change people. People are exactly who they are going to be before and after you marry them. Your boyfriend will change his behavior towards this one girl only if he wants to and wants his relationship with you to work. All of my closest male friends are married have busy lives and are too busy with their wives and children to be listening to some chick crying on the phone and giving joy rides. Believe me things should change once you are married and have a life together. The question is "Do you both have a clear picture of what that life looks like?"
2016-05-23 22:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Diana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your personal conduct with those opposite sex friends. You should not stop socializing with the outside world, just because you are married or engaged, I mean, that is not healthy and you should both have any friend you want to have, it has nothing to do with your relationship, and you can also create a new group of friendships together.
2007-01-25 05:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GOD FORBID one speak to people of the other sex let alone be friends with them now that one is married or engaged.
"Dear so and so of the opposite sex,
I have known you since the first grade and that we have shared every secret we have. You have been there for me through thick and thin, taking everything I say and do in stride. even when I did things you did not agree with you were always there when they back-fired. You have been my best friend. BUT, I am sorry, I am getting married in 6 months and we can't be friends any longer. Please do not contact me anymore. I am sorry that I can no longer be there for you as you were for me. Let us say goodbye to the 23 years we have been a part of each others' lives.
signed....."
WHATEVER HAPPENED to
"make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold" ?
2007-01-25 05:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by sweetsouth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really. No matter how innocent it is it will always become an issue. If you love your man then have mutual friends. Taking off for an intimate lunch with a "friend" of the opposite sex is not okay and will lead to problems. I had the same problem. I have a lot of male friends. My hubby hates it (even though he won't admit it) In the beginning I'd still go out with my male friends with my hubby's blessing. But things changed when HE started beoming chummy with female friends and I got pissed off. We have MUTUAL friends that are males and females but our friends tend to be other couples. Not single men and women.
2007-01-25 05:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friends that the two of you can go out with are fine. If there is any sneakiness involved, it is not okay. If it's an ex, it is probably going to create problems. The married or engaged couple should be thinking about each other--outsiders come last.
2007-01-25 05:09:04 · answer #8 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is totally ok unless you feel guilty for spending time with the opposite sex friend. If you feel guilty about it, then there is a reason why.
As long as two people agree on what is right/wrong, and not have any double standards--things should be fine.
2007-01-25 06:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by Neecer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a lot of friends who just happen to be women and I guess my partner found it hard to deakl with at first but They were friends a long time. All I'm saying is that it's possible to have friends of the opposite sex and not cheat on your partner. This is where trust comes in to it and they either trust you or not. If not then there may be a bigger issue to deal with!!
2007-01-25 05:10:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋