Ok.... My husband says that when he pleases himself he ALWAYS thinks about me. I was wondering if this is possiable or does he just tell me that. Do you think he thinks of other women when he does it? Our bedroom life is great so I don't understand why he does this in the first place. Why would he do it and think about me, if I am available?
2007-01-25 04:39:04 · 34 answers · asked by Jackie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me reassure you that this is perfectly normal behavior for the vast majority of men. Masturbation isn't just about the pleasure factor. It's also about getting sleep as it is the best natural sleeping pill you can have. Sometimes we don't really want sex, just the release of orgasm, if that makes sense to you! It's sometimes easier to just pleasure yourself, even when you are available. That doesn't mean that we are not turned on by you or that we are bored, it's just convenient sometimes. And you can rest assured about what we think about when we do it. Sometimes we do think of scenarios that you would never agree to getting into e.g. the whole lesbian thing, but when you're in love with someone they tend to be the focus of the majority of our fantasies. Personally, when I do it, I think mostly about my partner having a wild time with someone else, usually another woman, or I think of her being really nasty with me as in doing things she normally wouldn't do in real life, things I wouldn't expect her to do! It's also normal to think about us doing it in different places. Please don't worry about it as it is in no way linked to how he feels about you unless you notice that he's masturbating more and more and making love to you less and less.
2007-01-25 04:58:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it's really ignorant when a man masturbates in front of his wife. It's an insult to show that you aren't good enough at this particular time. I don't see why they can't make half an effort to hide it from you. I refuse to put up with it myself. He'd better do it in the shower or when I'm not home, the same way I do. Unless its a mutual exercise just for fun during sex, fine, but if I was to walk in on him doing it, I'd probably throw him out. It's a totally personal act, and it should be kept just that: personal. not on show for the whole world to see.
And yes he's lying about who he thinks of, they think about anyone except you. Why would he think of you when he always has to think of you? Men think they should all have as many women as they know exist, and they alawys make sure we know it, don't they?
2007-01-25 05:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear if your bedroom life is as good as you say it is, then by all means he's remembering all the hot passionate things that goes on between the 2 of you. I'm pretty sure "you're" not always available, so why not let him envision what you did to him before. It will only make more eager to be with you again. Try it, you'll like it! Good luck!
2007-01-25 05:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by nycrunner69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All men do it. It is a guy thing (but actually you should try it for you). When I was married, I did think of other women, but when I was single I always thought of my girlfriend. There is no logic to it. Understand that pleasing yourself is the ultimate in self-love. It is certainly possible that he thinks about you when he does it. If he does it in private, I suggest that he put on a show for you.
P. S. If you want to hear about a really neat position, just e-mail me.
2007-01-25 04:54:41 · answer #4 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jackie, I am not a man, but I grew up with nothing but brothers, and nothing but boys in the neighborhood, so I was just "one of the guys" and they never hid anything while around me in their conversations. He's lying to you. He doesn' t ALWAYS think of you. He's not going to tell you that. That would be like holding a loaded gun to his private area. Of course he thinks of other women when he does it. He can't help it. He's a man. They all do. That doesn't necessarily mean he's going to cheat on you. It has nothing to do with your bedroom life. Some of my guy friends told me that sometimes it's just about relief and they don't want to say to their wife, "bend it over", and they don't really feel like the whole warm her up, foreplay stuff....so they just do it to get it over with and go on about their business. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings by admitting he's a man with fantasies. Don't read too much into it as long as he's faithful and still intimate with you.
2007-01-25 04:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm...as if!! That's a lie, all guys think about a variety of girls because we are genetically programmed to spead our seed as much as possible. If that weren't the case, there'd be no one here.
All men think of other women. This doesn't mean we aren't interested in you / love you / etc. It's just that we need the stimulation of variety. Masturbation is healthy and shouldn't have a negative impact on your marriage / relationship. Putting pressure on him will definitely cause problems.
If you confront him on it and tell him you don't like it when he masturbates, you will see your relationship slowly fall to pieces.
Jump in! Help him fantasize! Make him see how hot you are!
Make him think that you are even nastier than he is, and he will be so hot for you you'll have to dump ice on him.
God, I wish my wife would role play with me. She just goes to bed and says, "see you in the morning", meanwhile, I'm forced to masturbate. At least you're having sex.
2007-01-25 04:47:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is what I've read and/or heard from other men. Sometimes they just want to get off without having to worry about getting you off. They just need a release and don't want to deal with foreplay, your emotions, etc. So I wouldn't necessarily take it as a slam against you. Maybe you should get yourself a toy and start giving him a little taste of his own medicine if it bothers you that badly. He may change his tune.
2007-01-25 04:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by mlj 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
SO, you are ALWAYS available?
When I do it my wife is NOT available! And after two or so years of marriage she is the only one I think about. I usually use recent memories and she is the only memory I have enjoyed over the past 10 years!
If my wife is available twice a week I don't feel/have the need for self pleasure!
2007-01-25 04:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's GOT TO be lying.......bottom line. I really think all men are turned on by the idea of such a VARIETY of different women out there. I think he is a liar...bc soooo many of my guy friends, and even my own husband have admitted they get a visual memory of some porn they watched, or whatever.......the dude's are never satisfied it seems.....
PROOF: Just recall all the stories of Hollywood celebs who cheat on absolutely gorgeous people!~
errr!~
2007-01-25 04:55:28 · answer #9 · answered by º§€V€Nº 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beats me.... lol, pardun the pun... I'd go for the real deal, but who knows why. He probably does think of you, sometimes you draw on personal experience, sometimes porn or fantasy. Maybe he doesn't share your opinion of your "bedroom life" because this is usually practiced by the deprived
2007-01-25 04:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋