Is this wrong of me?

Question

Everyone wanted me to be having another boy. Well it is another girl. Everyone seems disappointed. It seems as if nobody cares about this pregnancy or this baby since she is a girl. I have 2 other girls. I feel like it would be better if I didn't have her. I am not going to do anything stupid and hurt her or me. Is it wrong for me to feel like I failed somehow?? Please no rude answers. This is already something I feel guilty about. Thanks

Just so everyone knows. I am thrilled she is healthy. I don't mind another girl. It is everyone around me that I feel like I failed for. Not my baby. I love her to pieces even when she is kicking my bladder at 2 in the morning!! :)

Answer 1

Wrong to have feelings? The answer is a big NO.
And you didn't fail, how can you fail something that you have no control over what so ever? the sex of the baby happens on it's own, natures own way, and you have no control over it. Your probably only feeling guilty and as if you failed due to what others are saying and thinking.
As they say, while your pregnant it's best to let comments and advice that you never asked for go in one ear and out the other. I had a similar problem myself. I'm on my 3rd child right now and no one seemed happy at all yet again! Each time I get pregnant the first and only response is, "I thought you didn't want one" First off they never knew if I did or not, second it's made me feel bad because I don't get happy smiles and hugs and kisses. I want someone to be happy for me, but no one has so far.
So do what I did, take a deep breath and realize you've got yoruself another baby on the way. One you can create to be healthy and cute and happy all by yourself. What others think doesn't matter, it's how you think. Girl or boy, if it's healthy that's what matters. Put all other worries aside and remember that, and only that.
Congrats on the baby girl, I bet she'd put the same huge smile on your face as the other two have, and bring you just as much maybe more joy the 3rd time around.
Please don't feel guilty or as if you failed, you can't fail at something you've got no choice and or control over. Stay healthy fit, smile for yourself , enjoy it. Let that shine through, not the worries or someone elses let downs put a mark on you.

Congrats!!!!

Answer 2

You shouldn't feel guilty, and it's wrong of everyone else to make you feel that way! I have a cousin who has 4 girls, and every one has been celebrated and enjoyed and appreciated in the very same way! Don't feel like you failed, cuz you didn't. The sex of the baby is something you have absolutely no control over, so it can't possibly be your fault. The heck with everyone else, enjoy your pregnancy and your baby girl, and ignore what anyone else does or says that makes you feel guilty or hurt. They just get disappointed cuz they wanna be able to go out and get all the boy things they haven't had a chance to yet! Trust me, my bf's family was like that. Don't get me wrong, they didn't act disappointed, but they were hoping for a boy since they don't have many in their family. But I won, I got the girl I wanted! You are definitely not a failure by any means - you are bringing a healthy new baby into the world! Be proud of yourself and your new daughter - that's the only thing that matters.

Answer 3

I don't think you really can help it - your "support system" isn't being very supportive, are they??

What to do? I would still be so very excited - a new baby is a new baby - no matter what sex they are. Each one is so very different. I would talk about the pregnancy and get ready and excited about it. I think that if others see you like this, they will feed off it, and will catch it. Go buy some outfits for the upcoming addition - the clothing is so cute for little girls (I have a 17 month old daughter). Getting a couple of cute new outfits for your upcoming addition is one way to get the excitement going, and then show them to everyone - including the ooh-ing and ahh-ing. If they see you are still excited about the new baby, they will be, too.

How dare people behave in such a way - it isn't like you went into the bedroom going "Okay honey, give me another girl. . ."

Answer 4

It's not your fault, and you're going to love this baby girl just as much as you do your others.

If it's any consolation, my mother wanted me to have another boy, because she hates girls (she couldn't stand ME). I don't really give a chit what she thinks, though, because I was dying for a girl, but I was dying even MORE for a healthy baby. The sex wouldn't have mattered in the long run.

If you're feeling guilty because of the way that other people are making YOU feel, STOP IT! This is YOUR pregnancy, YOUR baby, and ultimately, YOUR LIFE. If the people in your life cannot be supportive no matter what you're having, perhaps their opinions aren't worth listening to.

Be happy! You're going to look back at your pregnancies and smile when your kiddos are all grown.

Answer 5

Ah, good. you're human. Human beings get disappointed. Maybe you decided to have a baby for the wrong reason, but now here she comes, but you cant trust how you feel sometimes when you're pregnant. The love will be there when it's time. Of course you wouldn't hurt yourself or the baby. Be disappointed for a while and then get over it. You can care about her more than anyone as you will be feeling her move and respond to you. Hang on to that and enjoy. Even if you have to make some 'pros' list. Like "I don't have to spend any money on baby clothes!" :)

Answer 6

Seeing as the chromosome that governs sex comes from Dad, HE failed.

You don't feel better, right?

We take the children that Fate gives us. That's what parenting is all about. You are reasonably assured of having a healthy baby girl: Since you already had two, the odds are in your favor.

Some people would kill (indeed, some people HAVE killed) for a healthy baby.

Your feelings are what they are, right or wrong. Deal with them, please. I hope you find a way to love this baby even if she's not the sex you hoped for. After all, some of the most important people in her family will be female...including the relative in whose womb she currently resides.

Please talk this through with a counselor. Good luck and congratulations on your baby. I sincerely hope that when and if you look into this kid's eyes, these doubts will melt away like ice cream in a Texas heat wave.

Answer 7

It is probably a natural thing you are feeling since your support system is a little on the downer side. Remember, God knows what he is doing and he has sent you another precious blessing and made this miracle possible. You just need to brush them off right now and focus on beautiful baby girl number 3. Negative feeling and bad support has a bad effect on your pregnancy and poor little baby.So, Relax, your pregnant, God bless you, and know each of your girls are going to be different and meaningful in your life. Congratulations!!

Answer 8

try not to feel guilty about having a beautiful healthy baby girl!! i would trade ya any day!! i was very disappointed when i found out i was having a boy but that feeling went away. i still get upset every now and then and i wish i had a girl instead but fate wanted me to have a boy and that's just the way that the cards fell, so to speak. relax and you know that you are going to love her no matter what. congrats!!

Answer 9

Dont feel bad... My mothers best friend had 7 children all boys the seventh which she knew would be the last was a oy as well, she did not hold him for the first 24 hours she was that devistated (prior to Ultrasounds) but befire she left the hospital she held him & fell head over hels for him, you will love your child regardless. Hey think 3 sisters, they will be amnazing friends when they get older.

Answer 10

i'm having a boy, and i wanted a girl. Wanna trade? Just kidding. Just be happy for a healthy baby. Obviously you didn't fail. You were trying to pregnant, right? Once you see your baby for the first time, you (and everyone else) won't be concerned about the sex. Congratulations!!