I don't know what to do about this sticky situation...please help?

Question

well lets see... I have my 3 yr. old neice living with me because her mother went to jail in June of last year "while I was there visiting my mother and other family" I live on the east of the united states and they live on west side of the united states"... anyway I have had my neice for nine months now and now all of the sudden her mother wants to come and get her in February....I am going back and forth about what to do or say about the situation. They live in a state that is very, very cold in the winter " most of the time it is always in the negatives",, they have no heat in the house, no firewood for the wood burning stove, no electricity, therefore no hot water, and her mother is always going out and staying out all night until the next morning leaving her 5 yr. old son that she has with her, wondering where his mother is all night and the next day until she decides to come home. since she has been out of jail she has been fired twice, and now no one in that town will hire her

because of her reputation. but anyway our mother is no better, she goes to work and then comes home and lays in the bed until the next morning and then goes to work and comes home and lays in bed again until the next morning, so my 6 yr.old, 10 yr.old, and 15 yr. old brothers are left to fend for them selves pretty much. my brothers shoot eachother with BB guns during the day and chase eachother with knives and no one cares but me it seems that way anyway. It breaks my heart to think of those kids in that situation and to think that my neice would have to go back to that. please some one tell me what is the right thing to do??? I have 3 kids of my own that are 9, 7, 4, and my 3 yr, old neice also. I just dont know what to do or should i do anything, should i leave the situation alone and live my own life or what? should I call CPS on them or what? please help me with this, I just want to do the right thing.

Answer 1

You are wonderful to care and to have done what you have as far as getting involved. Some of what is happening is out of your control, but if you can do it, please keep your three year old from that situation. She will benefit from your love and care and be so grateful in the long run. Of course you will have your hands full, children are rarely easy, and raising children is the most difficult underrated job in the entire world. I was in a home where my mother abused me verbally, physically, and mentally for years. I totally resented family members for not getting involved, when they were aware of the situation. Also make that call to child protective services, someone else probably will eventually, but if you do it as a family member, you may have a better chance of knowing what happens to your brothers. If you do nothing and something tragic happens, you know you wont be able to forgive yourself. Don't let that happen. I admire you for what you have done and if more people in the world could care and react as you do, families would be just that family. A group of people who are related don't always amount to a family. Some are just relatives. You can be family to this three year old. Good luck to you, and god bless you and keep you and yours well.

Answer 2

This is really complicated because it affects so many children. The only thing I can think of would be adoption. But that would be a lot of kids for you to handle. Do you have any other relative that may be willing to adopt your brothers or nephew? I mean you can adopt them yourself, but you already have children to take care of. If you have to, you may want to call child services because I'm sure if they see what's going on they'll agree that these children are not safe or cared for. It really depends on what can be done with the children. I see adoption as the only way to get them into a better home.

Answer 3

Poor kid! If you're willing to do it, I would see about adoption or obtaining custody. Your sister doesn't sound like she is in any position to raise small children. The child's needs come first, always.

Perhaps you could call CPS in your state or some other state or local agency to help you with this? Is there a way you could obtain legal counsel?

Answer 4

well i have the same problem with my son"s ex's. but there is nothing i can do or my son. the judge told my son that he had to have proof of her leaving the child at home all the time for weeks at a time to go and do drugs and sleep with lots of men. plus he said she is leaving him with someone so it isnt abandonment her mother is there to watch the boy but she drinks and sleeps all the time. the only thing to do that is best for the child is to call cps. i dont want to call but if i had proof of the going ons i would. good luck and go with your heart and pray your sister will do whats best for the child.

Answer 5

if you can invite her to stay with you for the winter or at least say you would be happier if the little girl could stay untill spring I will pray for the situation.

it sounds like you have your own problems but pray for them and yourself as your niece is with you it makes sence to keep her as long as you can or untill her mum is setled.