I have been with this great guy for 2 years now. Recently we have been having bedroom trouble. he says because of how badly his ex wife did him over he suffers physcological impotence. He is never turned on or in the mood. This seems rather sudden to me since sex was always possible til now. In the beginning we had some trouble but i was led to believe it was because i was shy and inexperienced. SO now that i can perform with the greatest sex partner i have ever had he has turned cold. my question is what if I think he is and afraid to come out. I know he tried it after his divorce and he said it was not for him but now my heart is breaking because he swears he loves us(3kids involved ) but i found out a year ago he made plans to hook up with a gay man and was very excited about it. Not only am i confused but I am hurt.I dont know if he went through with it but it still constitutes cheating or planning to cheat. What do I do this will be very a very sensitive problem to talk about.
2007-01-25 03:37:23 · 3 answers · asked by krys 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I think its important to be as honest as possible. Make an attempt to work out the problem, and suggest counseling if he is still saying "psychological impotence".
If he is gay, then counseling will help him with his coming out issues.
Most important, is if you care about him and don't want him to hate you forever, then you might have to let him go. If he is gay, and finds a way to be comfortable with himself, then the bottom line is its about him, his life, and his future. Getting involved with you before he found his way was considerably unfair to you, but try not to let how he is feeling become "your fault".
Either way, when or if you approach the subject its going to be sensitive, painful for both of you, and the outcome may not be what you are looking for. Be prepared to accept that he may move on...he will want to be friends, and maintain contact with you, but then it becomes about you, and your decision whether or not to maintain any kind of friendship or relationship.
2007-01-25 03:54:35 · answer #1 · answered by Kathleen N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhh. Baby boy i feel so sorry for you but baby i know you heard this before once a cheat always a cheat. He probably does love you and want to be wit you but there is just more to it than that. He is still mourning form the divorce trying to make sure that did he do the right thing or is this a mistake. And if that's not the case then maybe he's just repeating the cycle of leaving the one he loves for the one he likes. If u really want this to work and you really do love him tell him how you feel and see where u can go from there.
Good Luck
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxxooxoxxoxoxoxo
2007-01-25 03:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by Luvlyestmami 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's denied it (and he is), he'll continue doing so until he reconciles it to himself.
All you can really do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
check out the website below. It may help
2007-01-25 03:47:54 · answer #3 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋