my husband was dating other women. i filed for a seperation. he stopped, however doesn't think it was wrong. he said he wanted to work it out and go to counceling and was willing to do what ever it took. he didn't...He use the counselor to try to get me to sign off my kids in a postnuptial agreement, instead. i changed the case to a divorce. now again, he says "i'll do what ever you want, just tell me what it is". We live as roomates at home, theres no love or effection. we dont talk...and some how i have to tell him how to do this? is he really that ignorant? he wants me to tell him what to do. he hates me! he should start with that. should i really have to tell him how to love his wife? should i really have to be this spacific. he plays severe mind games and i think he just wants to continue this never ending emotional rollercoster. i fear that if i believe him, AGAIN, he will say i'm instable and take my kids.
2007-01-25 03:19:50 · 23 answers · asked by goodtalkin' 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If only I could find as chick as Gullible as you.
2007-01-25 03:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ah, room mates, I use that term too! Same deal with me, only in reverse. He probably said it wasn't "wrong" to date other women because he feels it was somehow your fault he had to go elsewhere in the first place. I'm not saying that's right, it's just might be the way he's rationalizing it. That being said, I do believe people can fall out of love just like they fell into it. From this limited view of your lives, I'd say it appears he doesn't love you anymore. It all sounds so familiar. It's hard to kiss your life and home as you know it "buh bye", so you / he clings to the material part of the relationship. He also knows he'll pay through the nose if you divorce, so he clings to "the best of both worlds" if there is anything all that good about it. You can't make him love or want you, so I'd say it just seems flat out over. Make a decision about your life and stick to it. Then the "rollercoaster" will continue on without you. But first, can you tell me, how do I get off too?
2007-01-25 08:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on moving forward with the divorce, he "...doesn't think it was wrong." is the key here. He will do it again, he will not stop and he does not place any value on your marriage. He only wants to keep you around for fear of losing money, kids, home or something like that. Do not slow down, do not let him distract you from your goal of a divorce, he will not do what it takes. You need to get rid of him and find a man that will treat you right. If you believe him, you will be the fool. Right now, he is the fool that made the mistakes, don't let him make you a fool too...
2007-01-25 03:26:32 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl I am right there in the SAME situation... I'm 30, a stay at home mom and a mom of 3. I look sexy but he prefers porn, as for the mind games, I suffer too. They are so crazy aren't they?! Mine also recently started hitting me, right now I sit here bruised as I type this. Oh and when I want to be intimate, he says I am repulsive and wacks off b/c he says it's easier that getting me off whichg only takes 15 to 20 minutes anyway.
At age 30, I have been cheated on, kicked to the street with our kids and he throws stuff in my face. We have been together 11 years now and we still live the same way we did when I was 19.
I am a good wife and lover, but my man thinks he's God's Gift and uses that against me. He even gets his family in on it.
I am in Texas but I do know that 4 him to take your kids, you have to be either cooking dope or being a prostitute or severaly beating your kids. So I really would'nt worry - But just keep this in mind, after 11 years of this BS, I have no self esteem and I am seeing things now 4 what they are.
2007-01-25 03:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like this guy is bad news all the way. He is willing to do whatever you want now to not lose you, but he will go back to his wandering ways. When he asks what you want tell him you want a divorce and thats it. If you can get him to agree to it, you can both use one attorney and save some money that way. I think you are being more than nice just letting him continue living with you, you need to get rid of him so he stops messing with your mind.
2007-01-25 03:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a procrastinator and a spineless coward! He wants you to do the dirty laundry while he confortaly watches you doing all the homework!
He knows that he can play you so he can have all the benefits and not to have to worry lifting a finger . he knows how to make you slow down the proceedings just by telling you what you want to hear.
Yes, you can tell him what he needs to do:
I want you to move out of the house, sign the divorce and start paying child support and alimony.
Good luck
2007-01-25 03:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Girl, he is using the old mind game with you...he cheats, no harm done...he wants you to give everything to him, you won't, he's willing to change...he's going to make your life a mess by forcing you to make ALL his decisions for him, not only the day to day running of the home but he will go as far as...What do I wear? Eat? Drink? When to shower? How to make Love? When to make love? He'll do this until you say, enough...but make your enough of the mind game a permanent thing. Get rid of him before he convinces you your the nut case! And believe me that is where all this is leading to
2007-01-25 03:33:04 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get it, but do you understand why utilizing a unicorn to exchange God to exhibit how stupid believing in God is makes a mockery out of men and women's perception? Why do you consider persons have to be instructed that atheists feel notion is stupid? I do not have got to comprehend that. When you do not consider lifestyles has a motive and that means, then what's your purpose in criticizing Christians and getting individuals to stop believing in God? You do not feel in God, ok, pleasant, so what? You should not have a rationale to do some thing, for even existing. Now, go away.
2016-08-10 13:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by tuft 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should divorce the jerk. If he was seeing other women and didn't even think it was wrong then chances are he will do it again. You deserve better then that. He would have to PROVE you unstable to take the kids. Unless you are unstable he cannot do that. Good luck. I hope you find a better man.
2007-01-25 03:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm getting it, yet do you already know why utilizing a unicorn to modify God to exhibit how stupid believing in God is makes a mockery out of human beings's concept? Why do you imagine human beings want to benefit that atheists imagine concept is stupid? i do not want to do not ignore that. in case you do not imagine existence has a purpose and meaning, then what's your purpose in criticizing Christians and getting human beings to end believing in God? you do not trust in God, ok, advantageous, so what? you do not have a reason to do some thing, for even present. Now, bypass away.
2016-12-03 00:59:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my queston is WHY is he still living with you, why didn't you take the kids and move--AND are you unstable, if not I wouldn't worry about his threat to take the kids--SOunds like this will be a messy divorce--SO my advice throw him out, change the locks and move on with the divorce and your life, or take the kids and move out--there is assistance out there if you can't afford it, or move in with a family member temporarily---There are always always a way to get out of a bad situation--When you file--talk with your laywer about your soon to be ex footing your legal bills, He just might have to pay for them, and I would get you and your children in for some counseling things are going to get rough from the sounds of it, and counseling may benefit you all.
2007-01-25 03:27:55 · answer #11 · answered by HappyGoLucky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋