she has 3 other kids to different guys. and she has signed over rights to two of them one was taken by the state of pa were i live. i have one other daughter and a girlfriend who i have lived with for the past seven years. and we cant seem to get the courts to give custody to us or have her sign her rights away. she has not had contact in over 3 years. and has been in prision for two my heart is broke for my daughter. but i am strong and have pushed on. ive gone to school at the age of 30 and my girlfriend did the same we have a great family and lots of support. that sounds like enough just to forget the past but isnot. she a dead beat mom who never paid childsupport lied and deceved many people. ive taken care of my daughter since she was a week old. thats when her mom left. how do i go about all of this. my girlfriend loves my daughter and she wants to adopted her but cant because the dead beat wont sign the papers how can i enforce this.
2007-01-25 03:08:10 · 12 answers · asked by Brian K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Get a lawyer.
2007-01-25 03:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the child has lived in your home all these years then the mother doesn't have custody. If there are no papers that say the mother has custody guess what, she doesn't. People assume that one parent automatically has custody of a child. Right now if there is no court order custody is deemed 50-50. If the mother is in jail I suggest you seek physical custody of the child. You can NEVER force a mother or father to give up their rights, in fact many states wont allow a father or mother to do so unless there is a 3rd party willing to adopt the child {went through this w my ex husband}. As for child support how's she supposed to pay it when she's in jail? Again if there is no court order stating she must pay then sadly according to law you are not in titled to. However if you take her to court they can backdate the current order for all the yrs she failed to pay {again experience w my ex husband}. My daughter is 13 will be 14 in March and her father has only seen her a total of 30 minutes in all that time. When I contacted an attorney I was just told everything I told you. I however did go to court and seek full custody with limited visitation for him, which he has never used.
2007-01-25 03:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't believe they can "make" her sign over her child even thou she has done nothing to support her. But tell your girlfriend and daughter this. Does a piece of paper really matter your daughter knows she is loved by your girlfriend and she probably thinks of her as her "mom" and your girlfriend knows that your daughter feels this way.
If she can't adopt her just let it go as long as you have a loving home and care for her don't let a piece of paper get in the way of your emotions. You and your girlfriend just need to keep loving and caring for your daughter and not worry about this dead beat .
Or if you want take your daughter to see her dead beat mom and have your daughter talk to her, she should tell her mom exactly how she feels and that she will have a better life if she just let's her go. Have your daughter tell her that if she cares at all for her she will do the right thing.
Maybe when your daughter get's older she will be the bigger woman and confront her dead beat mom and ask her why she did the things she did.
Good luck and don't worry about a piece of paper
2007-01-25 03:28:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you are going through this. Sometimes it seems like the law is so unfair. Would the courts in your state see your situation differently if you both were married? To have a Family Court facilitator, a facility who works with the Court Child Services, be someone you would want on your side of the table. You don't have to wait for the court to appoint them. As a matter of fact, it looks better on paper if you approach them on your own. To show you are willing to do whatever it takes would be a point on your side, ask for some parenting class information or counseling classes to educate and help you in answering any questions your 'future adopted child' may ask.
Being open and receptive towards being a positive role model would help you to go through the 'court hoops' and score some kudos which unfortunately, is a game people have to play to prove 'worthiness'.
That piece of paper to proof 'legal' issues could end up being a negative or positive in establishing a relationship.
Mostly, please stop to pat yourselves on the back for what you've accomplished so far. You've done alot to make your lives and for those around you a better place and this should be recognized as well. Congrats from me to you on this issue!!
If worse comes to worse, what about being her 'foster parent'?
I really hope things work out for all of you and God Bless your hearts for all your efforts !
2007-01-25 03:53:36 · answer #4 · answered by hot single mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish there were more men like you out there. Do you have an attorney? If, not, get one. They have ways about getting around all of that stuff! When is the last time you were at court for this? I would keep going back to court until they gave you your way. You would think that after 3 years with no contact, they would award you full custody. Don't stop fighting. It will work out in the end.
2007-01-25 08:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by BRIDGIE74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably have to prove abandonment by the mother, you need a good lawyer to help you here. Also, the fact that you and your girlfriend are not married will probably weaken your case, but I am not sure about that. A good lawyer that specializes in cases like this, can tell you what you need to do and what you need to document to build a good strong case and then you need to take it to the judge and convince the judge it is for the best interest of your daughter. That is what it will all hinge on, the best interest of the child, but the mother's rights will be protected as much as possible, so you need all your ducks in a row...
2007-01-25 03:16:29 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and your family. I've never known of this happening but sure it does with others. My daughter is trying to get her son's biological father to sign over papers so her and her husband can adopt the little guy, he pays no child support and has seen him less than a dozen times in his 5 short years, yet the courts have refused to force the adoption process, saying the biological parent has the final say. Good luck to you, I hope your petition for adoption works out better than hers
2007-01-25 03:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can file papers to have custody and show that the mother is an unfit mother. if you have been together with the girl friend for 7 years now it is probably safe to get married and then there would be no need for adoption since she would be a step mother by virtue of the marriage.
2007-01-25 03:18:04 · answer #8 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reguardless of your good intentions and your ex being a dead beat she is still the girls mother and unless your willing to shell out serious money it would be hard to force her to give up her rights. You can however ask for child support aand even though she can't pay it now the second she gets out of prison they would garnish any pay she makes.
2007-01-25 03:15:04 · answer #9 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a goof Family Law lawyer.
2007-01-25 03:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋