Wife doesn't desire sex as much as me. She says she loves me, but doesn't need the physical contact. We asked her doctor and her doctor said this happens in alot of women and that it is normal. We tried talking, scheduling sex, and it doesn't seem to work. She says she understands our situation, but I don't think she does. I am tired of being sexually frustrated all the time. I tried telling her outright my situation, but it doesn't help. She gets mad. We tried date nights, candlelit dinners, parking, and other things. Any other suggestions?
2007-01-25 02:48:02 · 8 answers · asked by johnkylex 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I will pre-empt any women who tell him to get over it:
This kind of attitude from women will drive a man to either divorce, have an affair, or just be miserable forever.
To ALL married women: This is serious business for us men. You say "tough" if we don't like it. Well, unfortunately it's just "TOUGH" if you women don't want it.
A marriage without sex cannot last unless both people are actually OK with it (RARE). If a man is putting in the effort and the wife is not putting out (or the other way around), the marriage is doomed.
2007-01-25 02:55:54 · answer #1 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear it.
As a woman myself I can totally understand her. But you too. LOL!
All I can say is that I need to be excited to have the "lust".
And that is where it gets tricky. How can you have a loving "stable" relationship (married or not) and still get excited by unusual sensations?
It seems a completely contradictory state of affairs!
Have you tried marriage guidance counselling? Because, in all honesty when a woman says she doesn't require something then there is something going on. I would suggest that she is taken up by other things in life and that perhaps she is neglecting that natural human pre-occupation which, likely, served to bring you together in the first place! Attraction.
I find my husband desperately attractive. And yet I have to be in the "mood" and that is where he struggles. Mundane stuff like coming home from work and perhaps not smiling at me as he walks through the door is enough to put me off. For the night! So- failing those candle-lit dinners working (and they wouldn't work for me- I want something with an adreneline rush! So akin to sexual feelings that one CAN lead to the other) try something more physical- like salsa lessons TOGETHER.
;-)
And don't despair- when you two find each other again it will all have been worth it!
2007-01-25 03:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
kids? how long married? well to be honest none of those should be a factor for that long. Tell her about your frustrations, make them clear. Tell her how much you love her but you need the closeness and intimacy, and its missing in your marriage. Maybe counseling for her, maybe theres underlying circumstances, stress, kids, life, age, medical issue. She should have a womens exam, make sure things are working the way they are supposed to, rule out the obvious first, then work on the emotional possibilities. Is your marriage otherwise good? financial stresses? Has she always been this way, recent change? death in the family, loss of friend? eating disorder. So many factors affect women sexually, and men. If its none of the above, then you may have to ask the hard question and ask her if she loves you, and if she is happy in this marriage. Even if you don't want to know the answer, at least you will be conveying to her how important this is, and the urgency of this matter.
Good luck
2007-01-25 03:54:05 · answer #3 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same prob.I was told to do this.See if it works for you. I would always get mad and say ...Why don't you have sex with me? You need to have sex with me. Whats wrong with you? Try instead of pointing fingers at her turn them back to you. ie: In my life I feel a big void. I need a little more sexual attention than you do to keep my sexual needs meet..Is there something that I can do to help meet you in the middle.I know that sometimes I get to pushy..Turn it around so that you are wrong and need her help.
2007-01-25 03:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by french1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving soemone is not always enough. YOu have to be able to communicate, which it sounds you the two of oyu are good at. But, you also have to be sexually compatible. It is just a fact of life and lots of people don't like it. Being fulfilled sexually is part of being happy. You need what you need.
2007-01-29 01:53:27 · answer #5 · answered by browneyedgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her why she doesn't find sex fulfilling with you. Tell her to be honest! Let her know this situation will only get worse if she doesn't tell you the truth. You can't read her mind. Does it have something to do with her self image? Is it something she is afraid to talk to you about? Good luck.
2007-01-25 02:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could it be a medical problem. Ask your Dr to check her hormone levels, this is a common problem. If it is due to hormones, there are different alternatives to increase the estrogen levels. I understand how frusterating this must be for you, but remember it is frusterating for her as well. Is she open to satisfying you in other ways other than intercourse?
2007-01-25 03:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs relaxation. Do u find any change in her when u take her for vacation.
2007-01-25 03:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋