We mutually agreed to part and stay friends eventually because he didn't want me out of his life and I didn't want him out of mine. So after being apart for 6 months now...he started to contact me and we started to do things together now and then. Like watching a movie having coffee...but never talking about what's happened between us. Last night we did just that watched a movie went for coffee and then he asked me if we could be friends with benifits...at first I disagreed, but since we are both single and well I wanted to and we are comfortable together and there is still something there...I figured why not...I told him we'll take this one day at a time and see what happens...is that wrong that we have some kind of open relationship? That would mean that there is no real commitment involved but eventually could be unless I or he changes his mind. I still love him and I think he loves me, but he's afraid of the commitment think...I am confused and I don't know what to do with this.
2007-01-25 02:32:59 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Friends with benefits huh? Thats a guys way of having their cake and eating it too. You guys have been together so long that he doesn't know what to do without you, so he still wants you in his life but without 'official' commitment, so that he is free to be open to more opportunities but isn't alone while 'shopping around'. Honey.. I don't know how to tell you this.. but he knows he doesn't want to be with you (forever)... but he does love you.. and that is why he's so confused. By agreeing to this 'friends w/ benefits' all you are is his security blanket, and he will become your mock boyfriend. I know this is a hard decision to make, and that you do love each other, but its seems you are not 'in love' with each other anymore and if you stay with him... your just wasting your own time. Time you could be spending out in the real world, meeting the REAL man of your dreams... who will love you, appreicate you and ultimately... give you the true happiness you deserve. Best of luck honey! I truly feel for ya....but you know what you have to do here. Its just 'doing it' that is SO hard!!
2007-01-25 02:49:33 · answer #1 · answered by CEP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what you're confused about. He wants sex without a commitment, period. As soon as things become emotionally difficult, he says, "I'm confused," and runs away. So, as long as you spend time with him, and especially have sex with him, without expectation of anything more, he will probably stay and be happy. Maybe he does love you, but he does not possess the maturity to handle adult things like conflict. After all this time, you may safely assume that he never will. So, is that all you want? If the occasional movie, coffee, and sexcapade are enough for you, fine. If you ever want a long-term committed relationship, this is NOT the guy. He has told you this, forcefully, twice -- believe him.
2007-01-25 02:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as an "open relationship". Eventually, someone will expect or want more and if other meets someone else you will be jealous and hurt.
"Open relationship" is an euphemism for "I want to use you for s ex and drop you like a dish rag whenever I want because you are dumb enough to go along with this bs"
Have some dignity!!! Don't you think you deserve more respect than that?????
Honey, is not that he's "afraid of commitment", he just doesn't want to be committed to you.
Open your eyes....
Good luck
2007-01-25 02:39:23 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK you need to leave things the way they were if he cant commit the let him be maybe you now made for each other sex with benefits doesn't lead to anything good just you getting hurt again, meaning he can date or go out with anyone he wants since you 2 don't have any commitment just let him be and find your own happiness you deserve someone who knows what he wants****
2007-01-25 02:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can promise you that as long as he get the benefits without the commitment, you will not get any kind of commitment from him. Shoot, look at it from his point of view, he has someone that he enjoys being with, hang out with, do things with and now has benefits as well, but any time you get moody, demanding, or any kind of a negative attitude, he will just play the "hey, we are just friends with benefits" card and he can walk with a clear slate. Tell him you want to save it from now on for your future husband and that you do not want to just give it away when it does not really mean anything, then he will have to show his hand.
2007-01-25 02:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither one of you will ever be able to have a relationship with anyone until you are completely done with eachother.Friends with benefits you are just using eachother for sex is that what you what I would think that you would have more respect for yourself.Either you are going to be in a relationship with him or your not.What you two are doing is childish.If he does'nt want commitment then you are wasting your time.
2007-01-25 03:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are setting yourself up for another hurtful situation. Don't give him the benefits until there is a ring on the finger (a wedding band), although I'm not sure I would plunge into that either. Another saying "Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?"
2007-01-25 02:41:27 · answer #7 · answered by cleanmomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends with benefits, huh? I have to hand it to him. He's creative. Well, my only thought is, I wonder how many other friends with benefits he's gonna hook up with? Be careful. There is a such thing as disease. Apart from that, if you are both okay with this arrangement, then go for it. Be prepared, however, to settle JUST FOR THAT if he never moves beyond it. You teach people what they can or can't do to you. You aren't asking for much, so this one's easy. He can have his cake and eat it too.
2007-01-25 02:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm. The image does look as if Hidan is from the grass village. Members of wikipedia can write anything they want until the staff finds out and somebody corrects it, maybe they did it on purpose maybe not. But yeah they made a mistake.
2016-05-23 22:17:23 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So in other words,he wants to be able to have sex with you but nothing else? hmm? did I cover it? I don't think you should. I know you still love him but your hoping for a future I just don't see. I wish you the best in finding the "right" man. Good luck honey.
2007-01-25 02:46:41 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋