To me, I think most people were "sold" that you have to be married. I see nothing wrong with being with someone you love, and living with them. Just to say "I do" means nothing. I think most couples that were once very happy end up in divorce just because they said those words, and now feel pressured by society to "put up a front" and show the world they love each other by spending thousands of dollars on weddings, gifts, honeymoons, etc.......... to me it's all a Crock!
I see nothing wrong if people just want to be together without saying "I do" in front of 100 people just to show their love.
Besides.........if the church really cares so much about couples, why do most of them charge you to marry there??
Bet ya none of you thought of this did ya ?
2007-01-25 02:11:32 · 16 answers · asked by godzillasagoodman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with you becasue I am married now almost a year and there was nothing wrong in my relationship before I am not saying we are perfect everyone has their faults in the relationship but it seems after we got married things have gone down hill for the most part we don't do as much together we are consistantly working and we seem to NEVER have sex anymore! So i think marriage sucks soemtimes I want to tell my husband let's get a divorce and just live together like before it seems there is more excitement in being someones girlfriend than being their "old lady"
2007-01-25 07:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by Heather M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They charge you to make you realize it IS a serious thing what you're about to do. Reason why most marriages end up in divorce is because of the lack of maturity and true compromise. usually only ONE takes things seriously while the other is simply a jerk that wants to keep up bringing the bachelor irresponsable life to marriage. Is true that you can get as loving as a married couple by just living with your partner. But marriage gives the union a lot of legal benefits. If you really love her, why not giving her the gift of benefits? It doesn't have to be an expensive wedding. You can do it the civil way with a judge. You don't have to invite anyone if that's your desire. Some people just do the wedding ceremony to invite their relatives, and then go straight to the honeymoon without an expensive ball for the guests.
2007-01-25 10:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by M'lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married going on 5yrs. I married in a Church and there was no charge. The meaning of marriage is the beginning of a new life with someone you can't stand to be without. Everyday passes and you smile each morning waking up at your partners side. Your so close that jealousy doesn't come between you. You share everything together and money no matter how much or little never matters.. Its about love and trust. I would marry my husband 10 times over because I know I could never live without him and saying my vows to him and knowing him and I will grow old together makes me happy to live each day. And I look forward to many years with him.
And marrage isn't a crock because if you love someone so much to wanna spend the rest of your life with them then you have something that most people don't have.
2007-01-25 10:23:37 · answer #3 · answered by ompie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is NOT for everyone. But the true meaning of marriage is not a state law nor a simple "Ido" it is a religious commitment. When you choose to marry someone, it is a life long commitment to the other person and them to you, to love, honor and cherish each other until death. That means when the **** gets tough you don't quit, you deal with it together. There are many people who aren't religious and could never hold that deep of a commitment. Those people shouldn't get married.
By the way a church will not charge a member to use the facilities, just nonmembers and if you pay a pastoral fee it goes to the church to help pay power,water and other bills that help run a building, do you think those things are free to a church?
2007-01-25 10:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first marriage I was married in a church, thousands spent on the dress, flowers, cake, pictures...etc. Lasted 5 years!
My second marriage (3rd for him) was in front of a court reporter at the court house, just the 2 of us and a girl from the clerical staff as witness. Lasted 20 years.
My fiance and I have been together 4 years (both of us married and divorced twice) and because we feel the ceremony is just a legal formality we have pledged our own commitment to one another through our rings we were and our love for one another. At some time, before we get too old, we may make it a legal union, but as for now neither of us want to ruin a solid relationship.
2007-01-25 10:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that marriage has changed over the years. It used to be that women had to get married to be supported, but now most women can support themselves. Marriage needs to evolve. I don't believe that a piece of paper and a wedding makes a successful relationship. I think that people can be happy just being together. A relationship that has affection, respect and trust will make it through anything. Marriage is a christian ceremony and you are right - why would they charge??
2007-01-25 10:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by Kitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a contract the gives the parties involved rights and privileges, tax breaks, plus security in the event of a death of spouse. Its not putting up a front to show the world . Its a commitment to stay together for better or worse, It's not for everyone and you show your immaturity by writing this question. For the church charging for their service well, you pay for any service that you get, don't you? Grow up
2007-01-25 10:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If saying "I do" means nothing to you, then it means nothing to you.
Those of us who it DOES mean something to understand what it means.
Ever notice that unmarried people don't see the difference, but married people DO understand the difference?? They must know something.
Look you clearly are so cynical about marriage you aren't ready to go anywhere near it. Marriage is about giving yourself to someone and having them give yourself to you. It is about joining two people together in a way that just living together does not.
It is subtle. And being someone who lived with someone for a couple of years before marriage I can tell you that it takes a little while for the difference to become noticeable.
All of your family and friends who are married are telling you this from experience.
Marriages don't have to be extravaganzas. You can have a small private wedding or even go to city hall and do it.
There is value in marriage. But do not take that commitment lightly. Those who do are doooooomed.
2007-01-25 10:17:46 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing wrong with just living together. Nothing wrong with getting married either. It is all about how you want to express your love to one another. Marriage can happen without a wedding, or a church.
2007-01-25 10:16:33 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the not having to be married. just living with the one you love is good.
yes spending a lot of money on a marriage is a lot of crock.
and the worst is after all that money has been spent. some divorce any way.
such a waste on both . the marriage and the money.
getting married should be simple with a few close friends and family if that is how they want it.
2007-01-25 10:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋