Ok here is the deal. My ex and childrens father is in prison. He has been in prison 4 times in 11 years. He is upset that our 11 year old wants nothing to do with him however is now telling me that when he gets out 1year that he plans on enforcing his visitation rights. Does he still have an opportunity to receive visiation? Also he is bipolar and on lots of meds now. (incase this matters) I really would not like for his visits to start back up again as he has only hurt our son emotionally. Our current order is almost 8 years old.
2007-01-25 01:58:44 · 13 answers · asked by Tricia P 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex is a habitual offender... he however plea barganed it down. He likes to steal from employers and has done this several times for thousands of dollars. He also is an alcoholic, and bipolar. I just want my boys to be safe. Prior to his going to prison he had 3 or 4 children the same year it is not like he is a good man or even a good father... that is why we divorced almost 8 years ago. Let alone all the abuse he dished out on me and the oldest.
2007-01-25 07:04:10 · update #1
I would suggest asking around and finding a lawyer that is awesome at this type of situation and known for winning cases. (we have a lawyer in my area that spouses fight over if they split up. I even know people who keep her on retainer just in case they were to split up, then they have her on their side! she never looses and she will go to bat for you no matter what!) You need to find a lawyer like this! One that won't take cr@p from your ex. You may not end up needing such an agressive lawyer, but it's better to be ready for anything that may come your way! You should be proactive from the start, don't sit back and wait for him to make the first move!
It is quite possible that the judge would award visitation to your ex, whether it be supervised or unsupervised. There is no way to tell immediately. Once papers have been filed you will then be assigned a judge, you can research the judge's past rulings and see which way they tend to side. It will give you a better idea of what to expect.
Secondly, keep good records! Anytime anything happens that isn't favorable or acceptable on your ex's behalf, keep a record of it. If it's big enough, file a police report. Paper trails are necessary to prove a pattern of behavior. Just saying something happened isn't enough, if it isn't written, it didn't happen!
Third, talk with your children and explain what is going on, at least to the oldest one. Judges will generally want to speak with the children and they take their feelings into a great amount of consideration. So, let your kids know upfront, so they can be thinking about what they really want! You don't want to spring a decision on them about seeing their father at the last minute! They need time to think it through!
Fourth, start thinking of people you can have on your side as character witnesses, both for yourself and against him. You will have to prove to the judge that he doesn't deserve to see his children because of the type of person he is. So you need to prove this to the judge without any reasonable doubt!
Finally, good luck! Stay strong! This could be a battle, but as long as you stay proactive and take the lead, then you are the one in control and subsequently, the one in charge!
2007-01-25 02:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by jen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he has visitation rights, then he has them until a court rules otherwise, so unless you go back to court and get the visitation order modified, he can enforce them (or you can be held in contempt of court for denying him visitation).
You need to go back to court and request that the order be modified. Be aware, though, that just the fact that he was in prison is not automatic grounds to terminate visitation. But if the court will not terminate visitation, then at the very least, you could request that the visitation be supervised (which might or might not be granted). An important question is what was he in prison for?
Him being bipolar is not an issue as long as he has it under control (meds, treatment, etc). I'm sure it's an issue to YOU, but not to the court, because being bipolar does not make someone an unfit parent (again, as long as they have it under control).
Good luck.
2007-01-25 12:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you go seek professional orientation with a lawyer to know your rights? You could also use the emotional instability of your eldest son as a wild card to deny him all rights. Maybe some certification from a psychiatrist about the negative emotional effects his father causes him. I don't know, there's gotta be something you can do. So far go seek professional laws orientation ASAP! Is your kids we're talking about here.
2007-01-25 10:08:19 · answer #3 · answered by M'lady 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't do anything to stop visitation unless he's so bad that CPS has to step in. (abuse, neglect) Look at all the idiots that visit their children, do the weekend thing.
If your current order (no matter how old) states that he can't SEE the kids, then he will have to get an attorney to try and alter that, and a judge will still have to hear your side before overturning it.
2007-01-25 10:06:29 · answer #4 · answered by steelypen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what the age limit is where you live, but I believe most states that 12 year olds can decide if they want to visit thier father and who they want to live with. Of course you should try to talk to a lawyer and do it legally so that he doesn't get you for not obeying the visitation agreement. Good luck!!!
2007-01-25 10:09:15 · answer #5 · answered by mrs. greatness 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
try posting this question on divorcenet.com. you will get much better advice there. the bipolar may come into it, if he is violent you may have a chance of not getting visitation. depends what state you are in also.
2007-01-25 10:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Judges are human honey, most are not going to put a child in a convicted felons face if the sole provider feels it would not be healthy. I really doubt he will even get anyone to hear his case!
2007-01-25 10:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
This will be up to the courts and the judge... I really do not know the answer to this... I wish you the best.
2007-01-25 10:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would start talking to your lawyer now and get the order amended. have your son see a counselor so his emotional distress can be documented. if all else fails request supervised visits.
2007-01-25 10:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by R L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to consult a lawyer familar with your situation and juristiction.
If you do nothing, he can win it back. Take the upper hand on this one before he gets out.
2007-01-25 10:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋