If my husband doesn't shovel...?

Question

If my husband doesn't shovel the snow am I responsible to do it? Also If I do everything in the house and take care of the two babies all day, cook, clean and everything else needed for the family, and he just goes to work, should I make his lunch or should he be responsible to make his own lunch?

i actually did mow the lawn last summer once, because i couldn't stand to look at it

Answer 1

Being a mother is a job in and of itself. It is also one that you don't really get a chance to do over. It is a difficult job and just because he works outside of the home does not mean that he should be exempt from the household duties. He should shovel and mow the lawn - at least.

Answer 2

I have a different answer than the rest. No, you should not have to shovel. What next? Mowing the lawn? Fixing the car? Marriage takes 2 participants. So what if you are a stay at home Mom? You have enough on your plate already. Stand up for yourself. Tell him that you will make him lunch IF he shovels the snow. He is the man of the house and making the wife do it is over the top. It can be very strenuous to shovel. Nope I would not do it. All he does is work? Not enough for me. He needs to help also. It seems as if the scales are tipped in his favor. You need to balance it out. Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm a stay at home mom also and yes make him his lunch he's providing for the family so you can stay home and raise the children. As for shoveling snow I would say no especially with babies you dont' want to leave them in the house while you shovel so instead of getting mad just ask your hubby to shovel for you and on his days off make sure he helps out around the house cause you need a break too.

Answer 4

It's all how you train them. If you have the kids and take care of the house he thinks all he has to do is go to work. Wrong, there is no way you can do it all. If he makes good money and rather not cut the grass or shovel the snow then hire a landscaper who will do it. You need to tell him what you do all day with out Turing it into a fight. The point of the conversation is for you to win the war not the battle. Get him to see how much is on your plate and how you need help. Ask him what he can help you with around the house. If he lacks to do anything I would then ask how much is he willing to pay a week for outside help. Most people who do not stay home with the kids think it is easy and you do nothing but watch TV and eat bonn bonns.

Answer 5

Sharing household responsibilities is the best way to keep both of you happier. Since you have two babies the full responsibility is your's while he is at work. When he is home he should do some of the housework, watch & play with the babies, change diapers etc.
In our house the exterior duties are mine (because I enjoy doing them), however my wife also enjoys working in the yard. I do most all the snow removal, however when we get hit by a snowstorm some teenage boys are always trying to earn some $$$ so I hire them to do the heavy work.
Tell your hubby to stop with the "macho guy image" and do his share of the responsibilities.
As far as the lunch is concerned, I'd make it for him so he can brag to his 'buddies at work' that you make his lunch.

Answer 6

Right now I am a stay at home mom of five kids. My husband works 10 to 15 hours a day at least 5 days a week (sometimes 6 days). I usually work, as a full-time waitress. I have taken time off to stay with our children since his hours are so unpredictable. We usually work opposite shifts to cut out the cost of daycare. When I am not working I do all the housework, cooking, kids' homework, laundry, and yard work. I even take out the garbage. When I am working, usually work graveyard shift, I come home and still clean the house, cook, help with homework and laundry. I ask him to take out the garbage. Most of the time, working or not, the kids and I are the ones who do the yard work. To save money I even learned to cut hair, so I also give the 3 boys haircuts every week. For the most part, if the yard work is too strenuos (alot of snow or very tall grass) my husband will take the initiative and save me the hassle. As a women I take pride in my family and home. I like that my husband comes home from work and says "MMM,.. what smells so good." I like that my children are always clean and presentable. I like that my home is a safe, healthy environment for my family to live in. I like that my children believe that I wake up early to let the sun out. I like that my family depends on me. I am irreplacable to them. Instead of feeling resentful about doing "everything", step back at the end of the day and look around you. You have done everything. Be proud. If your husband doesn't show you any appreciation for the things you do then you have a problem. Just talk to him about how your feeling. Tell him that you feel over worked and under appreciated. Ask him for help. If you get no response from him, hire someone to do the yard work. He'll take notice when the money he works "so hard" for is paying for something he can do himself.

Answer 7

Hmmm...make his lunch after he starts shoveling the snow. He doesn't realize taking care of the house and kids is a job also. But you can't do everything.

Answer 8

Are you the wife or the maid?
Think lady, today you did it because you cant stand to see. But tomorrow it becomes your job. Does that sound familiar. Men will take you for granted and you are responsible for it because you allow it to happen.
Stop and think. If he doesn't change, stop everything and go for a walk, a movie or visit a friend.
When he comes back from work, he has no dinner and clothes not washed or ironed, he will realise that two can play the game.
Hope he changes or things will get worst.

Good Luck

Answer 9

He sounds a bit selfish, arrogant and a tad lazy!

He can shovel, and help around the house.

Unless you knew that his only intention was to marry you to have a slave, cleaner and 'barefoot and pregnant'.
You will also discover in time that youare losing yourself and that yourself confidence is goingto flag if you don't start setting boundaries.

(This is happening so often, just see DR Phil for example.)

Answer 10

I would tell him to either shovel snow or make a lunch. Take your pick, treat him like a child that he acts like'