I want to go away to nyc for four nights with my sister and friend and my husband says no because he doesnt want to mind the kids that long..so i asked my other sister to take them for 2 nights for me she is but my husband still refuses to let me go saying i should from dublin to nyc for 2 nights is he being unreasonable? should i just go anyway and let him suffer with them alone? i gave up work and college to mind our kids what more does he want from me
2007-01-25 00:06:24 · 19 answers · asked by tinkerbell 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you need have some real discussion with him and find out why he has a problem with this. Why doesn't he want to take the kids for 2 nights? What would he do should something happen to you? Would he just drop the kids off somewhere? I think this is a serious issue that needs serious discussion. Right now, you are caught up in New York and what you want, and he is caught up in inconvenience of what he wants. Where do you guys place the kids? Is there a compromise somewhere in there?
Basically, you need to have the heart to heart with him about this, maybe you'll find out more about your husband in the process and you guys can benefit.
2007-01-25 00:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay at home moms most always get the short end of things. They are practically prisoners of their own castle...or in the mind of the husban, his castle. That is why I am always in favor for a wife to get back to an outside work as an employee or independent...to get a feel of the outside world, and earn a living of her own.
Though Dublin, Ireland is far from NYC it should not be a consideration. And that goes for the kids care too. If you are not there, he'll either find a sitter or do the chore himself...unless he's a moron.
I visit NYC every now and then. You've picked a nice place to go. If you have the fund...go! Enjoy a well earned vacation. Visit broadway, see a show. Walk central park, soak in the local culture. The experience will enrich you body and soul.
Husband would sulk and may not talk to you...ever again, but hey, that's his loss...not yours. You know what they say, life is what we make of it. Enjoy!
2007-01-25 08:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by McDreamy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is all about compromise and it sound's like you have done a lot of compromising.If you can get your other sister to watch the kid's I say go to nyc and have a great time.Tell your husband that he can plan a 4 day trip to take with a friend as well at some time.You deserve to get away for a few day's there is nothing wrong with that I have taken little trips with my sisters & friends and my husband has never had a problem with it.If your husband has a problem minding the kid's then he never should have become a father plain & simple they are just as much his responsibility as they are yours.Sound's to me like your husband is being the selfish one.Good Luck to you I hope you go and have a great time..
2007-01-25 08:17:01 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is footing the bill for your adventure with your sister, then he has every right to complain. If anyone deserves a 4 day trip to NYC, it is your hubby, not you.
The "giving" up college to mind your kids is a cop out..many women who have kids continue on with their education and if it had been a priority for you, you would have completed it.
What more does he want? Try communicating, discussing in advance, making alternate arrangements for childcare so you husband will not hve to watch the kids, and try gaining your husbands cooperation BEFORE trying to make plans.
It would be a huge mistake for you to go and just leave him with the kids; he could get a lawyer and say you abandoned the children and filing a restraining order against you and you might not have a home to return to.
2007-01-25 09:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing there's a lot more to this story than you're letting on. I know space is limited, but can it really be that he just doesn't want to take care of the kids? Some questions that immediately came to my mind are:
1. Does he suspect you'll be going out clubbing and partying while you're there? Have you given him reason to be jealous lately?
2. Does he ever get to go places alone?
3. How often do you ask for these sorts of trips? Do you go on trips together?
4. Is there some work-related reason why it would be extra difficult to watch the kids while you're gone?
5. Can you afford the trip without harming your family budget?
Not saying he's RIGHT, mind you... I'm just saying you haven't provided enough information for us to make a determination one way or another. Right now it just looks like a sympathy-grab on your part.
2007-01-25 09:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing wrong with you wanting to get away for a couple of days. How old are the children? Need any kind of special attention? Just remind him that he was there when all this started and he is part of the family. It also sounds like you have tried meeting him half way. Maybe hes a little insecure of what might take place while your in New York. Maybe you need to get a little back bone and go anyway if its really what you want to do.
2007-01-25 08:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a controlling husband to me.. I lived with one for 18 years, and let me tell you I couldnt even go school clothes shopping because he didnt want to mind the kids or as he used to put it, (I'm not babysitting) they are his children too and also as much his responsibility as yours.. Is he insecure and dont trust you or doesnt he think he can make it on his own.. Tell him your sister will take the kids for all 4 nights just to see what he says then.. Then if he still doesnt want you to go, tell him he is being controlling..
2007-01-25 08:14:32 · answer #7 · answered by Tracy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should find out from your husband the real reason that he does not want you to go on this trip. It sound like the children are just the excuse. Sit down with him and let him vent to you his issues that he is having, that way you can take your trip with peace of mind.
2007-01-25 08:31:21 · answer #8 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sounds really unfair to me!!. you need to buck up and leave. It will be good for the kids to spend quality time with their dad. It will also give you a break and to see what all is out in the world. and in NYC lol!!! go for it girl!
I hope you take the plunge!! take care and have a blast when you go!!!
2007-01-25 08:26:13 · answer #9 · answered by chelsey2you 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ma'm? I use to do that very thing, for my Wife. I loved raising my Children. I loved being there, for them. She ended up finding someone else, while on one of those Trips. So Hubby, isn't without reason. However, if your marriage is stong enough. Talk to him, as his Wife. And explain that there is no chance that you'd mess up this Marriage. If the marriage is on the Rocks? You've got some choices to make. Don't give him a reason to go out on you.
2007-01-25 08:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋