Should they be made to work?

Question

I am 22 and I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. I have to admit that my 1st child was a shock, I know I should of been more careful. But it was the best thing I ever did, I love her to bits! anyway, my partner works full time and I work part time, we don't need babysitters because or hours don't overlap. We have our own mortgage too. There are loads of people I know who don't work because they have children, and then they get benefits and council houses. I don't think it's very fair when I have to go to work to keep my family going. Do you think couples who have children and won't work should be made to? Even when I wasn't working, just after I had my first baby I still never claimed any benefits and we struggled on my partners wages. I understand everybody's circumstances are different but there is a girl who was boasting to her friends about how much money she gets for not working, she even said she might have another child to get even more money.

I don't mean single parents, I mean couples with children.

Jackiey, I ma not uneducated! I have 10 GCSE's and 3 A levels. I work part time, I go to work 4 times a week for 3 hours, so I ma not depriving them of anything. Just imagine, when they are older we will have a home to pass on to them which is more than alot of people could do, who chose not to work! women are not legally allowed to work! what??? And my wages are very good, I pay the mortgage and food shopping out of them, thank you.

Why do I keep putting I ma?? lol, sorry I meant I am!

Fallen to pieces don't worry, I just give you a thumbs up, lol.

Sorry Jackiey, I understand that you said, legally permitted not to work now. But I think you should only be allowed to stay at home if your partner earns enough to keep you at home. I understand some people have complications but it's the women who boast about all their benefits that wind me up!

Hotgirl, if you are a single parent then you will notice that this is not about you. My partner works in a normal job, he doesn't earn loads of money but enough for us. I see you have a computer and an internet connection so you're not doing that bad now are you! Don't you realise that if you both worked you'd get tax credits? I work for 3 or 4 hours at a time, so my kids don't miss out on anything, I'm sure you could do that too. Don't live beyond your means, we have stuff we want but we don't go over board. If I can pay the mortgage by working in a supermarket then I'm sure you could too. You don't need childminders if you have an evening job now do you, your partner can look after them, what's wrong with that? I don't see any reason why you would need a childminder, if we can do it, so can you, what's stopping you?

If I lost my job there will always be another to go to, I'm not above any job, not everybody would lower themselves to working in a supermarket. I'd clean toilets if I had to. Don't have kids if you can't afford it. Like I said what are my kids missing when I leave them for 3 or 4 hours?

Hotgirl, I said IF you are a single mother not you ARE a single mother. I don't think I'm a saint because of this, I said there are circumstances that will stop mothers working. You were the one slagging me off in the first place, being patronising saying goody for you. Do you understand why I got annoyed by that? You don't have to get a job you have qualifications for, there are other jobs out there. If you looked you would see that tax credits will go along way to giving you a decent income. I don't see how living on benefits will make you better off. I'm sure you can get an evening job and you will still be around for your kids, how will earning money make you worse off financially? And yes I am very pissed off, I have a sister in law who sits on her backside all day getting everything she wants.

And you fail to notice that I said if you CAN work you should, those people who you talk about obviously can't.

Answer 1

Don't worry about what other people do...you and your husband are managing fine....your taking care of your responsibilities....so other people's stuff should not really be an issue....you want the best or your kids and that's all that matters...

Answer 2

I have 2 children and when I had my 1st one i didn't work and we never got any benefits we lived on my partners wage .. plus the hours he work I would have needed a childminder for me to go out to work which would have been pointless because I would have been handing the money over to them and would have had nothing left ....and as I am qualified to work with children I became a reg childminder so I was there for my children and was earning that was 12 years ago and am still doing it .. so you have to think of what the partners working hours are 1st... and yes sadly some people will live off benefits because they know how to play the system to get everything while others go without ...eg old people

Answer 3

Whilst I can totally see where you're coming from I think theres no right answer - I dont have children but should I ever choose to in the future - I dont think I would want to work - simply because of the fact I wouldnt want to dish my kids out to someone else to raise.
You're lucky in the sense that you and your partners over dont clash - but a lot of people would not have this liberty - which is why I can also see the side of the people that choose to stay at home and claim social.
Yes some people like the person you mention are screwing the system - she sounds like a right lazy cow that takes pleasure in taking the tax payers money - but for other people that genuinely dont want to leave their kids with minders and may not be able to work for whatever reason - then I think thats more acceptable.
Its a hard subject to broach depending on individual basis - there should possibly be measure brought in to prevent the abuse of the system like the woman you mention - but then again thats hard to justify as well.
xx

Answer 4

I understand your frustration, I was in the same situation as you when I had my first child at 20, we survived on my husbands wages, and have never claimed anything. We lived in a poor area, where people used to rely on handouts instead of shifting their lazy backsides and getting a job. My hubby eventually got promoted, and we moved house and had another 2 children. My husband now earns £50,000 a year and we are about to move to a new home. We have worked really hard for what we have got and haven't asked for anything from anyone.

You should be really proud of what you have achieved and hopefully your children will grow up and understand the value of a hard days work, as you have set them such a good example.

Don't waste your time thinking about the morons who sit on their backsides all day, cream always rises to the top so enjoy what you have and think about the values you will pass on to your children, and continue the hard work. You will be rewarded in the end.

Answer 5

Yes everybody's situation is different.
I'v just had our first baby and even though I want to work,(part time after bub turns one) It is doubt full that I will be able to due to complications from the birth.
We are getting some benifits and my partner is working all the hours God sends but we are still struggling.
The only thing I acn say is that you should feel proud that you are able to pass on the strong work ethic you and your partner have, and be happy that you don't have to put your little ones in care for someone else to bring up so that you can both work.
(sounds cynical but am trying not to be, I understand the complexities of the question, and lets face it, we would need a lot of space to answer fully)
Hope you find some answers that help.

Answer 6

I guess it depends on the law. If you live somewhere that appreciates a full-time mother's contribution to her child's well being, be grateful. There has been a steady deprecation of the role of motherhood since the 60's and the resulting messed up kids are the result. It is too bad some want to take advantage of the system, which leads to a loss for those who need it.

Answer 7

I do have a problem with the people whom sponge off of the government.There are ALOT of people who actually need the help, and then there are those who abuse the system, I too am a stay at home mom, working part-time to help make ends meet. There are lots of things about our country that aren't right by us, but there is usually little we can do about it. I figure we have 2 options, we can do what we do and feel good about taking care of ourselves, and also working part-time can also be a much needed break from home, or we can stop working and use the help that is there for us. Just assure yourself that you are doing whats right by you, and remind yourself of that each time someone brags about their government cheese.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, some girls see breeding as a career. This may be because they are too thick to do anything else. The fact that you are a working parent says a great deal about your own self respect. I think that one or two children should be paid for, but, the amount of benefits should be capped at a certain figure to prevent career breeding.

Answer 9

A dilemna
Your thoughts on taking off the state are extremely admirable and the way of a honest person. Well done.

But I feel dissillusioned that the inhabitants of this country should also consider that we have every man and his dog from other Countries taking full use of every tax pound that we pay into the coffers in the benefits claims that they make.

So why should you, or I, continue to contribute into a bottomless pit for other countries to draw from without us drawing it back within our rights?.

The UK is not a continuous charity for Europe in our own shores - we pay too much into the Euro pot anyway.

Draw your money, even if you do not spend it, help make the rules change

Answer 10

The answer is to immediately cease all welfare payments to fit people of working age. This would remove the incentive for the idle to breed even more wasteful eaters and the problem would disappear within a generation. A return to tax allowances against income and a tax system that gave generous allowances to a person supporting a spouse would ensure that working people are better off that at present.