Were you brought up in a sexist household?

Question

I was and I'm still there. My mother does all the chores and serves us at table. She eats last as a result. There is a separate woman's quarters to the main lounge, with all the men in it. However, my mum also runs the house, manages all the money and my dad just does what she tells him to. What about your experiences? I would be interested to hear them.

My mother doesn't like anyone intruding on the cooking either, or trying to gain any independence, chore-wise. That would be to usurp her control.

Answer 1

My mother sounds like your mother.
She herslf was an only daughter and when her father died young, she was made leave school and get a job so her brothers could be educated. She carried this with her all her life.
She was sexist in a different sense;
She did not believe that boys needed any love or affection;
in fact, she thought that the best way to raise kids was to tell them every day that they were no good, that they would never amount to anything, and that she wished they'd never been born!
The boys came off worst; she liked to make them cry, then sneered and belittled them for being weak and "girly".
Small wonder that one of my brothers is gay and the other one is a wife beater.
The three sisters all their lives have been unable to sustain relationships with men....
Wow. Didn't expect all that to come out!
My father was the king of the family.
He never had to think or do anything for himself...she told him what to do, what to eat, what to wear, what to think.
To the day he died, my old man was still asking her,
"what will I wear today?"

Answer 2

My mum always did most of the cleaning, my sister and I had to keep our own rooms clean but dad didn't do any of it really. He'd clean the car though I suppose (except when he paid me 20p to do it. He'd mow the lawn sometimes but mum was the gardener in our house.
Dad never did any washing although he'd bring it in off the line sometimes. They probably shared the cooking about equally - maybe Dad did a bit more, and my sister and I would take turns too. We all shared doing the washing up. Dad always did the Sunday roast.
I suppose it was quite equal really - Dad went out to work full time and Mum worked part time from when we went to school until we left home at 18 so she was in a lot more to do stuff!

I'm a great believer in everyone pitching in - in shared houses I'll usually get the guys to do stuff by saying - right, I'll clean the bathroom if you hoover. In my experience guys will NOT clean bathrooms so they think they've got the lesser of the two evils whereas cleaning the bathroom takes 5 minutes and hoovering is boring and takes ages. Works for me!

Answer 3

I don't think so. My parents had basically equal division of labor. My mom was not a great cook and she hated house keeping but she did most of it and she taught both my brother and me to do all the chores, cooking and cleaning. (actually we say the cooking was a matter of self-preservation) dad cooked (he was good at it.) He did the majority of the wage earning and outside work.
Neither one really made a point of saying anything like "this is a woman's job or a man's job." They really taught us that living in a household with other people meant everyone had to pitch in to make it run efficiently.

Answer 4

My upbringing was a bit mixed. On the surface it probably looked sexist, my mum had ten children, stayed at home, had the meal on the table for dad every night and still does at age 65, but she loves it and loves looking after her husband. My dad though did every else like take us kids out, he would do the washing, ironing, housework on weekends after working all week in a high powered job. He even did our sewing, I still remember my school freinds laughing cause he sewed and polished our shoes etc.
So I think Ive had a glimpse of both. I suppose alot of people with parents from my parents generations and before, probably did grow up in a somewhat sexist family?? I dont know?? Maybe??

Answer 5

No both my parents worked 40+ hour a week jobs, both cleaned, both cooked, both helped out with my four siblings. Now my mom does take care of all the bills but thats because my dad doesn't know how to write checks, he prefers only cash. We were taught to work hard and just be happy your alive.

Answer 6

Yeah, and I'm still there, and its not so bad, i have 1 brother and he always gets treated better, my mum always serves him food, cleans his room, while me and my sisters have to do that ourselves. She is sexist and probably see me and my sister as people who would give her grandchildren, but it ain't her fault cos she was brought up like that, but my dad is completely the opposite, he taught me how to fix a plug, use a drill, and he askes me to sort out the toolbox, (but i think that I'm more better at organizing then my brother and that why he asked me instead), and if we get anything new that needs assembling he askes me to help instead of my brother, but that's because I'm the only one who reads the instruction and can point out really easily where we went wrong. So there you go. My house is really sexist but then its not.

Answer 7

I wasnt brought up that way, but my husband was. That has made him totally helpless when it comes to food. He would starve if I didnt feed him. I can go to the store and stock the whole refridgerator and he will say that theres nothing to eat!! Its just because I havent fixed anything and he's hungry. CRAZY!!! I dont think that women should do everything, all the time. Your mom does sound like a very good woman, but she may really need a vacation !!

Answer 8

A lot of women lay claim to the home as their territory. It's their way of being in control. They don't want men interfering in the kitchen. This was a much more common state of affairs at one time than it is today, although, it still exists today because my sister in law is a classic example. I have no time for the 'sexist' word, it is utterly meaningless.

Answer 9

Kind of. My mum would always a my dads dinner ready (and serve it) when he got home from work. When I hooked up with my husband I carried on the tradition but not cause I had to, I wanted to. He now doesn't eat in the evening as her has a big lunch and I miss cooking and serving dinner for him.

Answer 10

Yes I was. Both my parents work full-time as they always have, and still my dad expects my mum to do absolutely everything at home, even sterotypical man jobs like the DIY. He's never cooked a meal in his life or even washed his own hair! When my brother and I were children he never as much as wiped our noses . I don't think I've ever even seen him make my mum a cup of tea, even when she was ill.

Thankfully my brother turned out nothing like him and is a wonderful dad and partner to his kids/wife