I am 39 working women married a drunk-ed having two children and struggling to live with the help of my?

Question

friends. I have completed 14 years of my married life and have two sons 12 & 10 years). Still, my heart says am going to have a very good life. What is this? I really do not understand my feelings?

Answer 1

dear meenakshi, (PLEASE GO THRU THIS)

only a person living in such kind of situation, can empathise with u... i was in ur shoes, i worked, took care of the house and my child and this man only beat, abused and threatened to kill me if i dont feed him with money for his vices.

i come from a conservative and high class family and was holding a very good postion in an international bank, u know why i put up with all this torture...
ONLY BECAUSE OF THE WAY WE INDIAN GIRLS ARE
BROUGHT UP....HUSBAND IS GOD..., HUSBAND IS THE
ULTIMATE IN OUR LIVES... AND... WHATEVER IT IS
TO HAVE AN IDENTITY AND STATUS AND SECURITY A HUSBAND SHOULD BE THERE...no matter, whether he is a drunkard, or a murderer, or a womaniser or a gambler or an wife beater and abuser..but he is HUSBAND..........

These men, who live off there wives shamlessly ,take advantage of our families and our culture........

I too suffered for 14 years, till one day i could not take it any longer and asked for divorce.... and that day he tried to kill me saying if i cant feed him i have no right to live.........i was on my death bed, i came out of there with my will, fought for my divorce and, today once again i have made my life, a better life for me and my child...

Even i was given all the advices u are given now, but did u see, all this acts only in the favour of the person who is the culprit and the the one who is suffering... that is because, mainly, our own people dont want to face reality, and want to live in a fake world.. a fake world, where they can say, their sister or daughter or autny is married, rather than say, there is a divorcee in the family...

so, from my experience i can say, if all ur attempts to rectify this man has failed and u r confident of urself that u can bring up ur kids.....then take the step........

LEAVE THE FEAR OF DEATH AND LEAVE FALSE PRESTIGE AND U WILL SEE, THAT IS THE DAY, U WILL START LIVING A FULLER AND MEANINGFUL LIFE

ALL THE BEST

Answer 2

honestly the reason of determining to purchase married is to have children, contained in the church. And certain the bc "rule" does nonetheless practice. Does your better 1/2 (destiny better 1/2) recognize that you don't want to have children, how about the priest doing marriage prep? in the adventure that they do no longer you want to enable them recognize. Refusing to have children is a drawback to marriage contained in the church. Your maximum acceptable wager is to seek suggestion from a clergyman that you've faith. in case you experience uncomfortable doing that bypass to confession, behind the scenes, and at the same time as your executed search for suggestion from the priest about it. If all of us, and that i mean all of us, tells you for you to use bc and nonetheless be in communion with the church they are mendacity. when you're that non secular on your faith pray ad infinitum about it. i recognize human beings received't like what I stated right here, perhaps which includes you, notwithstanding that's the reality.

Answer 3

See madam, u have spent 14 years of life with your husband, and have 2 beautiful god gift kids, and u say that u are working having a drunked. A husband who ever it may be a drunked, etc is a husband. U cannout come out and lead ur life with 2 kids, u should not think about ur self , u should think about ur children only presently.

U still love ur husband heartily, but what u dont is his habits, try to tell him in a soft and good way and change his mind, when ever he comes to u invite him and at that time generally people say they listen to what spouse say, since it is the gift what god has given to human beings, at that time be open and speak out what ur feelings and plan accordingly, so that ur life would be a beautiful life in the world.

To be one u should strive, it is easy to break but hard to join keep it in mind.

Answer 4

Why are you living your life by feelings?Actions speaks louder then feelings.And if your friends are helping you,Why are you still married or living with a male that need you to turn to your friends for help? Maybe I'm just old fashion.But I do believe I can do bad all by myself.I'll struggle for my kids as long as they're still underage,But once there at age,they have to help or move out.
The reason you can't understand,your feelings is because you want to believe that if you allowed yourself to suffer,one day you'll be happy,but you don't want to open your eyes to reality.No one says that once your married you have to stay married,even if your not happy.Unless you like your friends to help you,When you got a grown male that knows his needs are met first,because he knows you have friends that will continue doing his job.

Answer 5

It was very hard to understand your question. But you were saying that your husband is a drunk, then you need to consider divorce. If you are the only one working and raising your sons, then you can do that alone. If he is not willing to seek help, then you need to consider your children and leave. Only after that will you have a better life.

Answer 6

YES! Whatever your heart says is true. Definitely one day he will stop drinking himself & your worries will be over. I don’t know how much your husband drink, but tell you I myself used to drink daily taking about 250 to 300ml of alcohol daily but just one day last august stopped it completely without my wife or kids asking me to do so & you know what I gained? Peace of mind! And what I lost? 17kgs of weight! It was my own decision & no one asked me to do so, but maybe I realized it when I was 48yrs old had I did it long back it would have been better. I was taking alcohol for the last 25yrs & stopped it on one go, now even I don’t take it in any get together or party or any such occasion. What I feel if I a chronic drinker can stop it why cant others do it. I wish same for your husband!!!!!!

Answer 7

You knew the man was a drunk when you married him. Alcoholics just don't jump out from under the covers. You knew full well 14 years ago that your man had a drinking problem----

You are fooling yourself if you think alcholism will just go away---You spouse will always be an alcoholic -----

Seek support thru AA for spouses of alcoholics. Church groups can also be supportive.

You married for sickness and in health---the until death do you part will happen when he dies from cerrosis of his liver!

Answer 8

I was in the same boat..........married 13 years to a drunk........6 kids.................. and really didnt know what I was going to do.
My dad told me one day over the phone..................."You would be surprised what you would except as security" ........ it really made me stop and think............I guess you just need to step outside of the box and get a good look at the bigger picture! Is this really what you want for yourself the rest of your life? Are you truly happy? I believe that if you are asking this question then you already know the answer..............
Good Luck

Answer 9

feelings after marrying a hubby of drunked ness is little boredom to live
you got to change your life pattern spending time for children would help
search some church groups who could give help at times of need

Answer 10

Ask him to make a peg for u also when he drinks next time , then if he does , ask for two next day and so on . The problem will be cured in a week or by the time he recovers from the shock.