i am tired and stressed out about my boyfriend, he is 31 years old i am 29, he has cancer and he has been hospitalised 3 out of 4 weeks, i just want to have a happy relationship with a normal life, can someone tell me what to do? we've lived together for 3 years.
2007-01-24 21:49:10 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think in situation like this , theres no right way or wrong way either u choose to leave him or stay with him . i guess u just have to have a talk with him , explain to him how u feel .
2007-01-24 22:40:31 · answer #1 · answered by Cassie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek counseling. Did you know he was sick before you got together? What is it that you saw in him that made you want to begin a relationship? I would pray about this real hard before I made a decision. I would ask the question, would I want to be abandoned if the situation was reversed. Do you think he would leave if the situation was reversed,was the relationship loving or abusive? What is a happy relationship, or a normal life. Jesus had a relationship with many people, and he considered everyone normal, just with different needs. Talk to Him he will give you your answer.
2007-01-24 22:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by cassandr.l@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have never loved this person if you can walk away when he needs you the most. Cancer is treatable, most of the time, and your selfishness will only kick him while he's down. I hope you can still sleep at night after you betray a person you've been with for so long. I think you're a poor excuse for a woman, I am 24 and my Husband has Multiple Sclerosis, a disease which cannot be cured. He had it when we met, and I love him anyways, and have dedicated my life to him, and he has done the same. I think you need to reevaluate your definition of love, because you certaintly aren't showing any compassion or empathy, let alone love.
2007-01-25 03:16:36 · answer #3 · answered by brandi91082 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay here is my story : my husband (was not my husband at the time) worked in a hospital when I went to have a consultation . I dropped one of my gloves and he picked it up and followed me out to my car . I was coming apart at the seems and he could tell how i had been crying . He asked me to go get a cup of coffee with him we went back into the hospital coffee shop. He got beeped and told me to wait for him . well i didnt but left my phone number on a napkin . Well for 2 -3 weeks after that we talked every night on the phone .Then about one week later I heard nothing from him. Well the day of my biopsy I just went in and had it done . Well when I woke up there was a dozen yellow roses by the bed and he was asleep in the chair . I found out from the nurse that he had called my mother and arranged to work double shift so he could have time off to be with me . The nurse also told me he had been there all night in the same chair . He is now my husband and has been for the last 15 years. Dont you dare give up on this young man he could be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
2007-01-25 02:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How selfish we become when things don't go our way. Your boyfriend should be your main concern at the moment. You have co-habitated together for 3 years---and when the going gets a little rough you want to throw in the towel.
With Life there are no warranties and no guarantees---This is wht is happening in your relationship. Your boyfriends illness at the moment should make you a stronger partner in his life.
If Life were all about having fun, parties, sex, and parades there wouldn't be much LIFE in the universe.
You should be supportive during this health crisis your boyfriend is having. DO you think he wants to have cancer? DO you think he wanted to be in the hospital? DO you think he wants to endure the illness that goes along with chemo etc? He didn't ask for all this to happen to him. With today's technology and new cancer treatments your boyfriends recovery time should be 100% unless of course this cancer he has wasn't caught in time.
BE his partner as you've been for 3 years and support him in his time of crisis. Think about it. What would he do if this was YOU!!!
2007-01-24 22:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess you aren't married to him.
Maybe you'd like to consider the idea that if you are very sick someday that the person you had dedicated yourself to said "sorry, I want a normal life" and left you to face it alone.
Your support up to this point might be a reason he's alive at all. You might help hasten his departure from this world by abandoning him when he needed you the most.
Make sure you tell your next boyfriend about this so they know what kind of person you are.
2007-01-24 22:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if it were u would u want him to leave u just because u were sick? life isn't about us, it's more about helping others, and sticking by them no matter what, it's about loving that person unconditionally no matter what. how bad do u think he feels about what has happened to him, and if he looses u he will be more hurt. can't u give him this time he needs, until he passes on, think u need to be less selfish, this isn't something he had control over, isn't something he caused to happen. if u have been with him 3 years, u need to show good character and stick it out with him, and give him the support he needs, as when he goes if u do leave him u will be the one who feels the guilt. do what is right here, so u can feel good about yourself and know u did the right thing.
2007-01-25 00:07:19 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is this a lengthy distance relationship? i imagine you deserve extra effective than this and also you that ought to chop up with him and date different human beings. you do not experience protect, and it somewhat feels like you're boyfriend and female friend. You deserve a real relationship! someone that you may search for suggestion from very almost each day, see one yet another extra often, someone that you actually get to understand... that's demanding to trust that you recognize one yet another o.k. in the adventure that your relationship has been decreased to semi-on a daily basis texts and once month-to-month visits. You stated it - he's your safe practices internet. for sure it is going to disillusioned the both one among you to split up, yet smash united statesare hardly ever pleasant. change is demanding, and also you of direction look after him to three volume - hurting and isolating from someone is not in any respect an basic job, it heavily isn't relaxing. yet we received't dodge this area of being an man or woman, that's almost inevitable. The damage received't very last continuously, and the longer you enable this "relationship" proceed, it is going to in user-friendly words get harder. strong success. .
2016-12-03 00:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the whole I'd say, don't. He's going through enough as it is. But I guess it wasn't a particularly committed relationship if you're ready to bail now he's ill, so maybe he'd appreciate your honesty if you tell him that you can't handle it and want to leave him now he's out of action and not so much fun. I doubt he's having a easy time handling the situation right now, but maybe it would be easier for him to get on with it if he didn't have to deal with you as well.
Get the next one checked out before you take him home - wouldn't want another duffer.
2007-01-24 22:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you know what i think, i think that you really need to be there for this man right now....he could die. Did he have cancer before you were together? This would be the worst time to leave soemone. i would, in this situation...put his ffeelings ahead of my own. He's very sick.....that might be detramental to his recovery{please note im not good at spelling} lol, but Im just tellijg you from the heart, what i would do...
stay with him through it....atleast give him that..
2007-01-24 21:59:44 · answer #10 · answered by Starla 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're not too young but you are too immature. Do him a favor and leave, he's better off without a fairweather friend who obviously lacks compassion and the ability to be there in times of need. Remember this word: karma
2007-01-25 04:57:01 · answer #11 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋