Two months after our breakup I sat him down and told him to stop calling me in the middle of the night because we could no longer be friends considering that on the day we split, he destroyed some of my stuff and called me faul names and my neighbors gathered to watch. He has come home twice since that talk telling me lies about how he needs help yet he knows he is no longer welcome & I don't care about him anymore. I'm seeing someone better and we are serious about our relationship. I asked his friend to tell him to back off but he said no and threatened to hurt my new boyfriend, so I cut my ties there as well. Will telling his close aunt about his stalking help or should the police deal with him? he is a violent, controlling and abusive person and that's why I called off the relationship. He had never put his hands on me, but there were several times I saw that he wanted to from the look in his eyes. We cannot get back together.His calls are making me & my new boyfriend uncomfortable
2007-01-24 21:12:24 · 16 answers · asked by Carlos 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if you feel threatend you can put a restraining order on him.
2007-01-24 21:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by THE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let the police handle the matter, and you PRAY. Thisis not a good situation. I would suggest you cut all ties with anyone you and he socialized with. Don't go to the places you know he may go, and stop having any conversations with him. Change your number. And let everyone in your family know what problems you are having so there will always be someone in the know. Get a restraining order from the court to include him from being banned from your job and have your boss or the humanresource dept on your job put a copy of the restraining order in your files. Talk to domestic violence counselors about ways to protect yourself. Take up some self-defense classes. Don't believe him when he says he's learned his lesson and he will change, he won't and it could cost you your life. If you really like this new guy you are with and not just trying to make your old b/f jealous, you can do the things I suggest. Also don't threaten your old b/f by telling him you are putting a restraining order on him, it will only fuel his anger. Is there anyway that you could move.
2007-01-24 21:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by cassandr.l@sbcglobal.net 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From experience call the police, then call a woman's abuse center they will help u obtain a restraining order. He will not go away, he will not change, he is stalking you, emtionally harming you, trying to control you. It is a possibility that he will just snap and harm youor some1 connected to you. If you go through with this list your home address, your school, your work, if you have kids list them on there protect them even if they aren't his. Keep a journal of everything he has done and does in the future. Write down, time and date many details as possible. Save phone calls, no longer pick up the phone, look at your caller ID! Don't feel sorry for him... I WILL REPEAT DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR THIS MAN! If the police blow this off, keep calling them everytime, even if its 100 of times a day.. Please get a restraining order, I have been through this with a guy. This is the only way to end this. If you don't know a womans center in your area, look one up www.whitepages.com, call your court house and ask who to talk with in there, some counties has a small fee the womans crisis center will help you pay for this.
2007-01-24 21:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by touchdown_rams05 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should simply cut all ties to him. Get a restraining order against him. If he calls harassing you or comes to your home, let the police do their job. If you let him disrupt your life, then he gets what he wants. Before going to his aunt, you should weigh the consequences. Would she believe you or would she simply assume that you are trying to cause problems? It probably will not be worth the effort. Move on with your life with your new boyfriend and if your ex feels the need to ruin his own life with jail time, that will be his problem.
2007-01-24 21:23:56 · answer #4 · answered by fly guy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why hasn't your new man kick his butt yet? He should!
Before you go to bed, turn your ringer off! log everything that happens-when and where he shows up, the time, date, who was with you. put up a no trespass sign. if he is stalking you, call the police the second you see him. when they come tell them about it. get a TRO temporary restrainging order if you need to. When you see him, don't confront him, that is what he wants, your attention, if he approaches you walk away, call the cops. Dont talk to him at all. Still, why hasn't your new boyfriend put him in his place-.......hhmmm
2007-01-25 00:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by jana808 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not even give him another chance to come over. Get a restraining order. Get the police involved. My cousin had a similar situation and wound up in the E.R. nearly dead. Her ex snuck into her home, tied her up, and raped her before he stabbed her in the stomach three times.
2007-01-24 21:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by mike a 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
CALL 911!!!!!!! and pay the 40 or so bucks for the restraining order. this is a potentially dangerous situation. and should be handled as such. cover all you bases legally, by calling the police and filing a report, the temp. order of protection, and you might think about getting some "HOME PROTECTION". you know, just in case he jump crazy on y'all. that way your asses are covered in case you have to pop a cap off in his ***!
2007-01-24 21:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by afreeca812 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i have totally been in this exact situation....i didnt want the police to be involved cuz im not that kind of person, he ended up jumping in my car in the middle of the night at an ATM and tryin to choke me....he then refused to let me out of my own car, threw my phone and told me i had to watch him kill himself because i didn't love him...he said it wouldn't hurt me because i obviously didnt care...a friend saw us and stopped and the police were called, he went to jail and had to participate in therapy for the suicidal actions...i pray that not every situation ends this badly... moral of the story is i would call the cops and stop it before it hurts you or him, it's not worth it
2007-01-24 21:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Amy Hizzle 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your boyfriend needs to confront him. sometimes guys hear things better when it is coming from another guy. If that don't work, call the cops, tell them the situation, and if you want, you can get a restraining order.
2007-01-24 21:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by Confused & Young 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, it is really a difficult situation. You have to worn him one more time and tell him you don't want to stop this in the hard way.
If he keeps disturbing you, then you have to tell the police about this.
2007-01-24 21:23:17 · answer #10 · answered by Sam 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And in basic terms why the hell can't he be in his boxers. She probebly in basic terms rocked up there to work out him and he had no time to gown or some component. i think of this may be a rely of have faith.
2016-09-27 23:20:29 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋