Hello i have got arranged marriage since I was 21. Had two kids straight after and now virtually no sex at all for the past 7/8 years Two years ago i met a divorced woman who has a kid 5 years old. Started having an affair. Sex was really high on the agenda. She treats me like her husband and has asked her son to call me dad. my wife found out everything about her and me. She wants me to get rid of her or else she will divorce me. This girl although i love her very much but has got a very bad temper. Everytime i tried to leave her she would threaten to kill herself if i left. She cannot live without me. She has to settle in her life but she cannot go to anyone as she is madly in love with me. I am scared of her as she has got very bad temper and a few months back she hit me on my hand with a knife and i have to go to hospital to get stitches. She also came to my house and made a big scene. LAter she apologised. She wants to get pregnant and live with me. I dont know what to do?
2007-01-24 20:30:48 · 39 answers · asked by indian_hunk_no1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Affairs always have sad endings. Never begin something as dangerous as this. The lady you've been seeing seems very desperate. First of all, i strongly advise you to END THE PHYSICAL PART OF THE RELATIONSHIP NOW! No matter how much she cries, do not heed her. She wont kill herself as she has a kid to take care of. Goodluck!!!
2007-01-24 20:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Pusky 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hang on hang on, which girl has the temper and threatens to kill herself? Your wife, or the other lady? Ive got a bit confused!
Sounds like you are too. If youre unhappy in your marriage then leave your wife, if you really do think your marriage is beyond saving. If youre worried that your wife may hurt herself, then either take the view that shes a grown up and is trying to keep you, or ask a relative / friend to keep in touch with her so you know shes OK.
Regarding the other lady, it sounds like shes giving you what your wife wont, but sex alone doesnt make a relationship. If theres nothing but the sex to keep you coming back, then I suggest you pack it up with this lady too. I think you need some 'you' time to get your head straight. Good luck in whatever you decide :O) xx
2007-01-24 20:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by Secret Squirrel 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Be a real man...put it back in your pants and stop using it for a brain. Stick with your family that you created ....apologise to them for the upheaval you have caused in their lives... remember that your wife is in the same position as you and you wont solve your problemns by having affairs. Get some marriage counselling and next time this woman harrasses you or your family call the police and take an AVO out on her. The magistrate may order her to do an anger management course...you would be doing her a favour good luck.
2007-01-25 01:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in great trouble!!! When you try to ride two boats this happens now face the consequences. Best is to just leave this second lady who is not your wife & return back to your wife as a prodigal husband. But if you so insist to continue with this second lady then take proper permission from your wife which I am very sure won’t give you. So next is you take divorce from your wife & marry this lady, but just think about your two kids what affect it will have on them? You are playing with fire by keeping relationship with this second lady just for satisfying your sexual urge, you should have discussed this with your wife your need of sex & she would have never refused you for this, but now you are searching answer for you own creative problem. I feel really sorry for your wife & kids as they are suffering just for no fault of theirs. Best thing just tell this lady to go away from your life & find some other suitable match for marriage.
2007-01-24 21:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I thought that the mistress was supposed to be the calming factor in an affair not to make you scared of her, you should have backed of the relationship when you discovered what she was like not just stayed for the sex and then got yourself into this situation. You have obviously make her false promises now you will have to take the consequences of your actions. You should run a mile from this woman she will not kill herself just make your life hell. Good luck.
2007-01-24 22:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your affair was based mainly on sex. Only you can decide whether you love either of these ladies, although it sounds to me like you dont love either one of them. As for this lady asking her son to call you dad and threatening to kill herself if you leave her, she sounds very insecure. If you are worried by her threats could you not contact a member of her family to make sure that they keep an eye on her? In my experience people that make a song and dance about suicide rarely do it.
You should never start one relationship until you have finished any you have at that time.
Do you want to save your marriage? Contact your local Marriage Guidance Service (they will be in your local phone directory) Even if you decide you dont want to stay with your wife they can help to bring the marrage to an end in an amicable way.
2007-01-24 20:40:47 · answer #6 · answered by Denise H 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If a woman doesn't have to put up with emotional and physical abuse, then neither does a man. Finish with her and stick to your convictions no matter what. It will be hard at first but eventually it will get better. Then you can work on repairing your relationship with your wife. It will take a long time and a lot of effort on your part as your wife is the one who was betrayed, but if you want it to work it will take time.
2007-01-25 00:03:11 · answer #7 · answered by spear_1021 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good reason why people should not cheat.you have gotten yourself into one big mess you need to tell your girlfriend to seek some professional help. she can't get pregnant if you dont screw her. Tell her that you need some time to think. Don't call her her .Maybe then she will find somebody else to be psyco for. However you do need to get rid of her quick fast and in a hurray.Before someboby gets hurt.
2007-01-25 00:12:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well because you have kids & are married. Tell her you were wrong about your feelings for her & must not see one another again.
The grass always looks greener on the other side . As you are learning more about her anger. tell her she would be better off to kill her self, than to kill you.Save that project for your wife. END THE Affair -- Before someone gets hurt more than you have already hurt them.
2007-01-24 20:47:44 · answer #9 · answered by TT Bomb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She need to see a doc. She is needs a serious help. RIght now you stuck with your current wife. Kind of sucks, but you have no choice untill she get treated. She is dangerous and to even better...suicidal. That right there is a big no no. She look like wont handleyour leave and she may even try to hurt a woman you seeing besides her. Get some professional help for her, ASAP!
2007-01-24 20:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by BK thang 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋