my fiance...whom i was getting married to in 3 months tells me that he's not in love with me...all of a sudden after seeing his ex wife. I ask if he's in love with her and he says no. He loves both of us. We'd moved to a different state to get away from drama...and have been living here for over a year. When we went home to visit...that's where the drama is and that's how he saw her. A friend of mine that also moved...went down to visit a few months back. I trust her...more than anyone else right now and she says that she heard gossip of my fiance's ex wife and him talking and that they were talking about getting back together because she's about to leave the guy who she left my fiance for...they'd only been married 6 months. I've talked to her...and it seems she never stopped loving him. I think this is a really messy situation and it HURTS..and you now...we live together..have a life together and he could be leaving to go back home in a few days...and i feel betrayed and im scared of
2007-01-24 19:38:18 · 18 answers · asked by Starla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when he leaves..and him choosing her....and we were getting married this april. What can I do.....I love him soo much and i keep thinking..what does she have that i dont.
2007-01-24 19:38:52 · update #1
i feel like they both new what they are doing. I want to think...if he loved me..he would not have beent alking to her behind my back and she...if she loved him..would have moved on...like i said, they were divorced 10 months before i met him...it's been wll over 5 years..since she's been with that other man accually....
2007-01-24 20:02:34 · update #2
His heart.
I feel your pain.
I hope you don't become so desperate you give away your power, your self in the situation.
The harder you try to hang on the worse it will become.
2007-01-24 19:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by David E 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT get married. If you do, you'll be sooooo sorry.
Bottom line, him & her still have a 'thing' going on. You may love him and he 'says' that he loves you, but I believe that he's marrying you because he feels obligated because of the length of your relationship and doesn't want to break it off to asuage his feelings. I got married TWICE when I KNEW I shouldn't and I've been paying for it every since. If you feel deep down in your gut that your situation is wrong, DON'T DO IT!!! Going through the pains of a divorce will be much worse on you later on than what you're feeling now. Be smart.
2007-01-24 21:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really messy situation, I feel sorry for you because you have just described a man who is clearly still in love with his ex and if she hadn't of dumped him in the first place they would probley still be together.
I know it's hard especially since you love this man but I think the best thing you could ever do for your self is to end the relationship with this man, cut all ties with him.
Because if you continue to be with him and if he doesn't know what he wants you, will only end up getting really hurt.
It just sounds like if his ex says jump he would so to speak.
I think his heart lies with his ex not you, he may care about you alot but it sounds as if he loves his ex.
Plus if he's talking to his ex behind your back doesn't that tell you anything.
I would just leave, there is someone better out there for you. Good luck!
2007-01-24 19:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
OH-OH Honey,.... YOU were his rebound...
She didn't want that little red truck so threw it in the garbage and got a "better one" to play with
Then you seen the little red truck and said.. what a nice truck and picked it up and started playing with it
Then she says.. hey my old truck must be better than this new one cause they are having more fun playing... "so I want it back"
She thinks, Maybe if I throw away this new truck I can get back my old truck... because we played together first...
Your Fiance is nothing more than a toy to be discarded into the garbage... there will always be a new truck around the corner for women like her.... but don't anyone "touch" anything she has thrown in the garbage... or she will definately want it back
You tell your Fiance this... Hey.. she threw you away.. I found you.. and by george she is going to have a hard time taking you back because to me you are worth the fight... and to me you are a keeper... you tell this to him... NOT to her.
Been there done that...
GOOD LUCK
2007-01-24 19:56:03 · answer #4 · answered by H.O.T. Dog 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, my girl, life sucks! This is so hard.
He nees to make his mind up and soon. The only words of comfort I can add are that this has destroyed any trust between the three of you. She left him for someone else, how could he ever trust her again? And would you ever trust him again, if he did choose you? Not that that's much comfort.
All I can say is - I'm sorry you're going through this and you will come out the other side. Please don't plan on marrying him now.
Good luck.
2007-01-24 19:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to talk to him and find out i see that the drama is there with herex means used together if he say i don't want to be with you then ok but i would write him a long letter expressing how you feel yes they have history but it is time for him to move on don't feel compelled toif you don't get what you want you are a very good woman if he choose to go with her it might been a reason why they broke up if but it is his choice remember you are not wrong if you break up with him don't take him back
2007-01-24 20:33:42 · answer #6 · answered by iris b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that this is hard for you, and that you are struggling, but you have to understand that he must not really love you if he can't choose. You know this! You just don't want to hear the common sense your heart's telling you. You gotta listen. If it doesn't feel right, then it isn't! You can't force it. You gotta move on! He's gotta work on some stuff and get his head right before you both will ever work in a relationship. He's going to have to move out.
2007-01-24 19:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No pain, no gain! The pain is the heart and mine here. The gain is how happy you will be without this disaster waiting to happen. If yo9u push him and try to convince him to change his mind, he will eventually blame you for things, as if to say you held him back for what he really wanted to do. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering where he REALLY is when he says hes got a business trip in ___.
2007-01-24 20:30:05 · answer #8 · answered by degroove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God, another Jerry Springer episode---what positive thing is there in the whole letter that you wrote? Is there something you do not see??? He is an immature, man not ready to commit to you---there is no love for you so why do you even say that you love him. Love is a 2 way street and he is going one way. You better get a grip, pack up and move on. Sorry for the tough talk but you my dear are headed for a disaster. I hope I got thru to you...sorry but it is not too late to find a real nice man worthy of your time and love and attention. Good luck and please--be happy
2007-01-24 19:46:26 · answer #9 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ok put out the fire call 911 its over why would you want to marry someone who dont love you or respect you its time to move back home and let him have his left over its sound as she looking for a way out of her married and you fiance is too stupid to see it please find someone who love you and respect you because you deserve better good luck
2007-01-24 19:50:06 · answer #10 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though it does not seem like it, you are very lucky to have found all this out now. She has nothing over you.....she cheated on him. That makes her a dishonest person without moral character. If he chooses her he will simply be choosing to go back with a cheater. You need to move on to someone who is worthy of you!
2007-01-24 19:45:15 · answer #11 · answered by thatartistwin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋