just a question?

Question

It really makes me laugh when people who have cheated say they love their husband/wife..If they really and truly loved their spouse they never would have cheated..anybody agree with this

I dont get it either ghettoera doesnt make sense to me why stay with someone who has broken ur heart

Answer 1

Unfortunately social researchers pretty much have concluded that humans are not naturally meant to mate for life like geese. Monogamy is a recent social convention in the history of the species.

Take away the social pressures, financial pressures, and add modern surveillance and testing, and it it is easy to see how virtually every "public" high profile marriage explodes or it becomes painfully obvious that it has become simply one of convenience.

My feeling is that it is a little short sighted to measure how much someone loves another simply by whether they are monogamous or not. My feeling is that how you treat each other when you are together is far more indicative and important.

(PS: Never cheated on my spouse)


By the way. For every man that cheats, there has to be a woman he cheated with. In every sex act of a man and women the total numbers of each sex must by definition balance.

Therefore one of the following MUST be TRUE!

1. Married women cheat just as much as married men, they just don't admit it or get caught as often.

2. Married men cheat more, therefore since married women are having less sex, single women are having more sex than single men.

3. There is a small but significant segment of the female population who are way more promiscuous than any group of men and "soak up" all that extra male sexual activity. This being above and beyond prostitutes because the cheating we are talking about are the kind of romances and affairs that professional sex workers rarely pursue.

Answer 2

Statistically, around 60% of men cheat sometime in their life and 40-something% of women. I personally think that sometimes, peoples primal urges override their personal judgement. I also think there is a big difference between making a one-time regretted cheating mistake, and having a long-term affair. Its normal to be weak at least once and give in, and forgivable if the person really regrets it. But if a person has an on-going affair, then they are knowingly and repeatedly hurting their partner, and have decided that their desires are more important than their relationship. Cheating is just one of the MANY ways that a person can hurt the person they love. But for some reason, we are more offended when the betrayal or neglet involves sexual acts. People make all kinds of mistakes in relationships, that doesnt mean they dont love their partner. It means they are human. Being in love with someone doesnt mean that they will never hurt you, or vice versa. Its people who put their partner up on a pedestal that are often disappointed when that person falls. IM NOT SAYING THAT CHEATING IS OKAY or that you should let your partner walk all over you, but that everyone should keep in mind that when you get married, its to a human, not a saint, and that you are bound to be dissapointed by that person at some point, wether it is by physical betrayal or something else.

Answer 3

Ok comming from some one that has been cheated on several times by her husband we decided that it was a problem that he was having with his self esteem..(another story there) instead of walking away from the marriage and everything we had before the infidelity, we decided that if we try marriage counselling, and give it all we have before we decide weather we can continue...

Yes it hurts to find out that you have been disrespected... it hurts to find out that you have been faithful but they havn't and totally trashed the marriage vows you took...but I do realise humans make mistake they are not perfect and I am not perfect,

I don't need a man in my life as some of you may be thinking I can get along fine without a man and don't need to be treated this way. but I choose to fight where alot just walk away without trying.

There is normally an underlying problem that causes the spouse to cheat. identifying that problem is a start, some men just get off on the adrenaline of having sex with another person same as women.

Answer 4

I am agreeing with the people who realize that we are humans and it's not in our biology to be monogamous. It's a very strong impulse to fight. Infidelity ends up boiling down to ones own self-control, and some people are better at this than others. Also keep in mind that sex does not equal love and vice versa. It's very premature to assume that if someone cheats on their spouse that they do not love them or that they are unfulfilled in some way.
.... And never say never!! If it hasn't happened to you yet in one aspect or another, remember that the statistics are not in your favor and you just may find your self in the same boat. I wouldn't be so quick to be judgemental.

Answer 5

what is the definition of LOVE? love 50 yrs ago is different from love today. why? who the hell knows why....this cheating thing makes me soo angry! its not even funny. if someone cheated and said i truly love my spouse then they need to legally change their name from whatever it is to BOZO THE CLOWN. first of all, if you really love someone you dont cheat, 2nd you dont even think of cheating, and 3rd you wouldnt even have the word cheating in your vocabulary.

damn cheaters suck!!!

Answer 6

I totally agree with you. If you cheat your partner it is showing you that there is something missing there. And coming back to them and pretending as if everything is fine aint cool

Answer 7

I totally agree with you 100%.

Answer 8

I completely agree

Answer 9

Love is a complicated emotion. Too many types, too many levels. Maybe person x is everything you ever wanted, but terrible in the sack?

Answer 10

do you mean the cheaters loving the ones they cheated on.....or the cheated loving the cheater.
i think the cheaters....are sorry for hurting someone that they "love"
and the person that's cheated on...doesn't want to believe the person that they love did that.....so of course they still love that person...they weren't the one cheating...