19 & want to get pregnant?

Question

ok guys i have a senario and it goes like this if you've read my previous questions you have an idea if not its like this im dating a black guy my parents dont like him (well they dont exactly know im dating him my mom knows of him) he wants me to move in with him and im not really ready i have no idea what else to do to make my mom like him from the time she met him she hated him my dad doesnt know who he is this is gona sound absolutely krazy but put yourself in my position i was/am thinking about getting pregnant and then they'll have to accept him ive been with him going on a year were serious i love him dont think im krazy i have a very stable job i make close to $10 an hr and i plan on going to school in the fall i would be more than able to raise a baby & i know this i just need some serious serious advice thank you

he's told me before he wants to have a baby so its not just one sided

Answer 1

at$10 an hour can you afford medical care/insurance, diapers, daycare, formula, clothes, furniture etc. all the things a baby needs.
don't try to force your parents into accepting him by getting pregnant, thats ridiculous and would only cause more problems. just time and patience. let them see how much you love each other, and how serious you are. show them you are mature enough to handle the relationship. and for heavens sake, dont do anything you don't feel you are ready for, including cohabitating. if you aren't ready it will only backfire

Answer 2

I am going through something similar to your situation. My fiance and I have been together for almost a year and a half and have been trying to get pregnant. The situation with your mom, you will have to let her get used to the idea you two are happy together or just not really care what she thinks. I have been there and my mom realized we are happy and got used to it. Ten dollars an hour is good for your age however if I were you I would keep your job now, go back to school and try to at least get an associates degree. Having a child isn't exactly the only option here. If you want to move in with him, and you feel that you both get along well enough to live with one another then go for it. It does take some getting used to. My fiance and I moved in together six months ago and yea its crazy at times, but its not too bad. If you feel that you want to have a child now and feel that he can afford both you and the child after you give birth then go for it. School can be pick back up after you have the baby, but also be careful that you don't continue because of the baby. Well i wish you both the best and if you i can help you with anything else please go ahead and e-mail me. Oh and just because you are young dont let people tell you that you shouldn't do it. The only reason I say this is if you are going to do what you say you are going to do and this what you want, mind you I know you will have to work a lot harder, go for it. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Hey, just want you to know that alot of people who has had a baby thinking it was going to solve a problem say it was a bad way of looking at it. Yeah your parents would love and adore their grandchild but that doesn't mean they will accept him, he has to prove to them first that you are in love and that he is really a good guy and wants the best for you and makes you happy, after all that is what they want for you then they will let there gaurds down, but having a baby could make your situation even worse. I would focus on creating a relationship with them and your boyfriend, especially since you said they really don't know you are dating.

Please work on that before trying to have a baby!

Answer 4

You shouldn’t just have a baby in hopes that it will make your parents like your beau. You and him having a baby together does not mean they will have to accept him. It is true it could soften them up but it might not. Babies are costly 10 dollar an hour is really not that much grant it is above minimum wage but its still not that much. If you plan on going to school you’d probably only be able to work part time. You say you aren’t ready to move in with your beau but you’re ready to have his baby.

You’d be smart if you just put off have a child get a few years of school under your belt first.

Answer 5

please dont bring a child into that drama just to make ur parents like ur boyfriend. thats ridiculous. a baby won't make ur parents like him. babies are not miracle workers. ur only 19. u say ure not ready to move in with him?? why are u even thinking about moving in with him anyway if u know ure not ready? ure only 19, u cant even drink legally yet. go out and experience life first. a child is a lot of time and dedication. if u have a child and u are a good parent it leaves time for nothing else. there's so much out there to experience and see. enjoy being in love if thats the case and dont complicate things. the world has so much to offer. making close to $10 per hour is nothing. it might be good for u now because ure 19 and live with your parents but once the real world kicks u in the ***, its hard to recover. what does he do? i bet nothing because u're not even including his income or what he's planning to do to better himself. dont do it. if ur parents dont like him its for a reason. i dont know if its because he's black even though i think thats what it is from how ure saying it. if its not for that reason then he must've not made a good impression on your mom. if he really loves u, he would consider impressing your mom important and necessary.

Answer 6

I'm sure you know this, but Babies are avery hard work, $10 an hour isn't all that much. And if you want to get pregnant and you think your are going to be able to college you are crazy. It's possible, but it's a lot harder than it sounds. There are a lot of things you need to think about. For instance. Day care, I'm not sure if you know how much it costs, but its very expensive. I think you need to really wait until you get older, have your schooling done, and have a better job. I wouldn't rush into anything. You may think you love him now, and I'm not debating that you do, but 19 is a little young. You guys need to experience more, than just 19 year old "love". You don't know how reliable either of you are in that situation. There are a lot of expenses to take into consideration, for example, rent, utilities, car payment, car insurance, health insurance, cell phone bills, internet, ect. You may not have all these bills now, or in the future, but Health Insurance is a necessity. I can't give you all the reasons I have against a 19 year old having a baby. They are wonderful little creatures to have, and I wouldn't trade mine for the world, but I know how much work is involved in them.

They are not as expensive, and hard as people trying to scare you out of children make it out to be, but they are a very big responsibility, and your social life as you know it is over. You are that child's world. And I'm not sure you are going to listen to any of us, if that's what you really want, but you will look back at this and remember what we told you.

Answer 7

10$ an hour is not enough to support yourself and a baby. Not to mention having a baby will pretty much put a stop to school for a while (as well as a stop to your social life). Good luck, though, with the parents.

Answer 8

you are only 19. its not the right time to get pregnant. You still young and lots of things will going to come in to your life. If your mom dont like him, well he have to find a way to make your mom like him. iF he love you he will do everything to pleased your mom. And if you love him, you will fight for him also. But being pregnant cannot solve your problem. Being a mother is a very big responsibility. Im a mother also, im only 22. its really hard to have a child. You still young, you have to enjoy. if you going to have a child, you have to focus yourself with your child. its not easy.

Answer 9

Not trying to be mean dear, but he wants to have a baby because he knows trying to conceive means lots and lots of you know what.

I'm not saying he doesn't love you.

Your 19y/o ... wait till your at least 25-6y/o financially stable and maybe even married.

And $10 is nothing. Get done with your schooling and then start talking about kids.

Answer 10

Hon $10 an hours is like nothing. Educated people can make $200 an hour/

you are way too young to have a baby you will be trapped. no more being a young person. the stress will destroy your relationship with your bf.

Keep the bf - grow up - earn a living- then have your baby.