very serious!?

Question

ok guys i have a senario and it goes like this if you've read my previous questions you have an idea if not its like this im dating a black guy my parents dont like him (well they dont exactly know im dating him my mom knows of him) he wants me to move in with him and im not really ready i have no idea what else to do to make my mom like him from the time she met him she hated him my dad doesnt know who he is this is gona sound absolutely krazy but put yourself in my position i was/am thinking about getting pregnant and then they'll have to accept him ive been with him going on a year were serious i love him dont think im krazy i have a very stable job i make close to $10 an hr and i plan on going to school in the fall i would be more than able to raise a baby & i know this i just need some serious serious advice thank you

he's told me before he wanted to have a baby so its not one sided to trap him

Answer 1

I'm sorry, but the fact that you want to have a baby to make your parents accept him shows that you are too immature to have a baby.

Answer 2

1) Wow! Ten whole dollars an hour! Do you honestly believe that is enough to support you and your child on your own? Do you honestly believe you can support your child and go to school?

2) You show your immaturity and complete lack of readiness to have a child by thinking a baby will make your parents like the guy more. Most likely, this will make them like him LESS.

3) If you're not ready to live with a guy, why do you think you're ready to be a mother? Why do you think you're ready to have a child with this guy if you can't even commit to living with him?

You are being incredibly selfish and childish. Grow up. Keep dating him but don't move in until AFTER you've finished school. Do not have a child until you can support it emotionally AND financially (you cannot do either at this point). Do not have a child with a man you are the least bit unsure about and that you've only been with for a year.

Answer 3

DO NOT DO IT!!! $10 an hour will NEVER be enough to support a baby! Trust me, I know! You don't want to do the thing where you "make " your parents accept this guy because in the end, they may resent the baby. Stay home and go to school, and then when you are all done with that, and you have your degree and u r making at least double what you make now, THEN you should START thinking about the whole marriage and family thing...that's even if this guy is still around. You'd be suprized!

Answer 4

I suggest you finish school first before you decide to have a baby.A baby will not make your parents accept your lover.I acknowledge that the person you love has a different colour.Iam not racist just not sure how to get around the black word.You need to work on your parents by showing responsibility and putting your life in order.You and your friend need to invite your parents out to coffee on mutual ground.As you say you dont feel that you are emotionally ready for a major commitment.From what I have read of this scenario do not move in just yet because of your parents.Finish school and if your friend still loves you after you have finished school then think seriously about movingin..First you need to work on your parents.Also having a baby will only create more problems.

Answer 5

i do not think you comprehend what having a baby really means
it could put your whole relationship in a bind
it is not fair to the child either you are not wanting a baby for the right reasons
when you hold that child in your arms it will not be your little miracle,your little gift,your little sunshine,it will be your little leverage
a baby is stressful to handle to deal with
getting pregnant is no damned walk in the park
it will be hard on you
and hard on your bf
you guys may think its not a bad idea now till it happens then you guys will have second thoughts big time
a baby could put a serious wedge between you to
you do not understand or comprehend what bringing a baby into the picure will really do
sure your job is fine and dandy now
you will not feel able to do your job when you are pregnant
when a baby is born try to handle a new born and keep down a job
it is simply not done
thinking about being in your situation
becoming pregnant for such a cause is absolutely not an option for me
if i were you i would move in with him
sit down with my parents
have a long talk about that you love the dude and what not
i would tell them if they can not except him then they can not except I
cast him away and you are casting your daughter away
i would tell them that i am not asking them to love him like him just to except him and except my decision to live with him
cant keep it from your parents forever the longer you wait the harder it gets
you have to own up to them sometime
[i do not know you or your parents and i do not feel like reading all your threads maybe i will get board and answer them maybe not]
beyond that
the baby is not a good idea i would double think that one big time

Answer 6

firstly - if you plan on studying, put baby on hold for a while -
secondly, if you do fall pregnant, this will not FORCE your folks to accept him! it has happened to so many, where the parents ultimately end up rejecting their own child. unthinkable as it may sound - it DOES happen! try not to jepordise your future by doing something to 'spite' someone else or causing a family feud. if you guys love each other as much as you say, and I believe you do, first work on building a foundation for yourselves before trying to build the house. your parents also do not know the truth about the two of you, and you can never be happy if you're basing your relationship upon a lie. think smart and good luck with whatever you decide to do. Rome wasn't built in a day, so take it easy, ok? x

Answer 7

Do you seriously think that you will be able to take care of a child, work, and go to school at the same time? I am not trying to be mean, but you really need to think all of this through. If you are planning on doing all of this and succeeding you will need your parents support and help. Getting pregnant with this guys child is not a guarantee that your parents are going to accept him. Actually, they will probably dislike him even more. They will blame him for your pregnancy, even if you get pregnant without him knowing that you have planned this.

Does he want kids? What does he do? Does he work? Does he go to school? Are you sure that he is going to be totally supportive of you and a baby?

Get your education first. If he sticks with you and is supportive of you while you are going to school and bettering yourself, then think about moving in with him and having a baby.

Answer 8

Getting pregnant isn't the best way to make your parents accept it. If they're like mine, they're going to think what they want no matter what. If you really love him, stay with him no matter what anyone says. I don't know how old you are but if you're making $10/ hr I'm assuming you're at least 18. If so, your parents can't run your life anymore. You choose who you date. If you're going to have a baby though, make sure it's for the right reasons, not just for your parents to accept your boyfriend. That's really a bad reason. What would your child think when he/she was older and found out the reason you wanted him/her was so your parents would let you move in with your boyfriend?

Answer 9

Let's be realistic, if you are making close to $10 an hour and going to school at the same time, you will not be providing a good situation for your baby. You won't have time for school and the baby and your boyfriend.

Answer 10

i have an aunt who dated and married a black guy more than half of our family disowned her and im telling u evean though this is not the 1950s if your family is this much against this relationship just be ready to face some really tough situations i still talk to my aunt but and if u get pregnant this could only escalte the probleam you have to deal with your parents first