we've been together for 4 years, and still nothing. he always says next year..and next year always comes.. and nothing happens.
2007-01-24 17:35:20 · 13 answers · asked by Mrs.Easley951 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Children cause so much stress in the household it isn't even funny. He isn't ready to change his lifestyle, right now it's safe and throwing children into the mix could very well ruin it. The simple fact is not everyone is cut out to have children, they change the dynamic of a relationship and sometimes do cause people to split up just because of the additional stress in their lives. He may just honestly not want to have children and if thats the case you need to reevaluate your relationship with him.
2007-01-24 17:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by Virtual Crogs 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think that some men are just too afraid to take that next step. I was married to a man who was terrified of having children. He kept wanting to wait and then one day he was ready. 4 years is a long time, but it also depends how old you are.
It is such a huge life changing experience and one that he's obviously just afraid of...
All men are ready for marriage at some level - they want to be with the woman they love, but when it comes to children, it can be an entire different thing.
Hope this works out for you... he really should come around soon enough... at least I hope so for your sake.
2007-01-24 17:43:22 · answer #2 · answered by hydrogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The REAL question is: Why do most women feel that they have to have a child to "seal the deal?"
Did you ever think that maybe he just likes being with you (and you ONLY). Having a child will severely cramp your current lifestyle. Whereas now it just you & the husband, but once you have a child, your WHOLE world will revolve around the baby. Picture this: "Hey hon, let's go to the movies!" "Can't... the baby." Hey hon, let's get away for the weekend!" "Can't... the baby." Everything will be "can't... the baby."
You both will want to do things but can't because of the 'baby.' Plus if he's been putting it off for over four years, he isn't ready. And if you decide to get pregnant anyway, he'll feel trapped and will resent you. Wow, now THAT'S a good marriage. My advise is to not pressure him. When he's ready, you'll know.
2007-01-24 17:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he wants to have sex with you for as long as possible without a kid in the picture.
Children bring:
[1] cute baby photos
[2] spit -up
[3] poopy diapers
[4] wife's body completely rearranged and usually not for the better
[5] wife too tired to have sex again for the next 18-20 years - well maybe if he begs for 4 or 5 months. And sex is so great when it has to be begged for, right?
[6] no privacy - well only for the first 18-20 years
and so on.
That's not a balanced mature view - but it's what most guys think. :-D
2007-01-24 19:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men have a fear. a fear of waking up everyday knowing that they cant do what they want to. knowing that they have to go to work to get this kid through school. or to pay off doctor bill for the kids shots...even save money to put their kids through school. basically I'm saying he's emotionally immature, he doesn't want a kid. a kid is a MAJOR responsibility, and hes just not ready to put his life on the side and take care of a child. you want a kid, and he knows you do. if he doesn't understand how important it is to you, then sit with him. explain to him why you want to start a family....if he's to afraid, then maybe you should wait for him to get ready. if he's sincere about having a kid in the future, then you should trust him, and respect his feelings and emotions on that matter. in a relationship, it takes two to make it work, and you cant assume that because he's a man, he just want to get what you can give and leave it at that . because that would mean that you distrust him. and without trust, you don't have anything.
2007-01-24 19:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, many guys hate the dating scene so when they find a good girl they will hang on.
as for kids, you have to ask him why? We can't answer for him.
I have 3 kids, custody of 2 and could never imagine not having any kids. They are so much fun. It's liking having a 2nd chance at being a kid. Playing video games, watching cartoons, coloring, drawing, running around the back yard with water guns.. fun stuff!
The greatest thrill is watching the child grow into a happy and successful adult.
Its nice to sit back and know you did a great job!
Then the grandkids! 3rd chance to be a kid again..lol
2007-01-24 17:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by asgrafxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't rush it. Just like the xbox, why purchase it now, it will still be available in 2010. Take it easy. I believe God may be testing you. If it's meant to have children, it will happen in do time. Perhaps you two should enjoy life together while you have the chance to. Once children come into your life your husband will come second best perhaps thats not what he wants or desires. Take it easy!
2007-01-24 17:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jerry S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to sit down and talk with him and see where he really stands on that issue, because it appears that he may have some reservations about this, he may have changed his mind and not want kids at all. Either way you need to get all of this out in the open and see where things stand and how you both want to proceed.
2007-01-24 18:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to a Doctor first, thereafter both of you attend a counseling with a psychologist. If both fail ,should meet a psychiatrist, at the earliest.
2007-01-24 17:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by venu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he thinks that he wants to be financially secured first. Kids cost lots of money and great responsibility
2007-01-24 17:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by stardust 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋