how do you make friends while going through a divorce?

Question

I am currently going through a divorce and just want to start new. I only know a few people where I live so I want to branch out. The hard part is when others start looking me up on the internet they see me, a person that used to be married. If I put single, which I changed it, Im kinda lying. Im not crying on their shoulder, Im having conversations,normal stuff,getting to know them.?Im going throught a divorce but not openly talking about it from the get go. Guys freak out when they see that and women feel sorry for me or want me to go to a party or club. Good morals are good but I am I putting out that I want more?Am I approaching it wrong?.Do I have to wait to make friends till my legal status changes?

Answer 1

Guys don't' want to carry any-ones Else's baggage and so they steer away and if they don't they thing your willing to put out. It is terrible i have a friend that is just divorced and she is having a terrible time with it. Good luck to you. Wish people stay married cause it ain't pretty out there.

Answer 2

Well I am currently going through a divorce as well, however I am not seeking any relationships other than friendships. So far all I've met are other married women with kids and they have their girls night out once a month, that's fine and everything (I haven't started to participate, as I have other financial responsibilities right now) but I would prefer to meet other people in my situation, divorced,and/or no kids, etc. I just think we would have more in common, I don't really want to hang with other married women, because everyone knows that once my divorce is final, then I will be considered single, and it is a known fact that married women shouldn't associate with single women. So I do understand what you mean, have you tried going on myspace ? You can meet people there.

Answer 3

ok I have been there and done that. When I got divorced I couldnt relate to my friends who were all married/engaged etc (it was just too painful) so I started a fresh and completely changed my life. At first I found a couple fo friends on the internet and then met them in real life and one girl I became really close to. Then we started to go out dancing and I met her friends and then we met new friends at clubs. I also moved to the UK for a year or so (am Aussie) and let the fuzz lift from my brain. I met plenty of people there (some of who I am still friends with) and it completely changed my life. It was the start of my healing process thats for sure. Good luck and trust me things will look better as each day passes. :)

Answer 4

My parents r long time divorced, I understand ur friend, but there's nothing in the world that can erase that feeling :( Just try to tell her, that everything happens for a reason, their parents couldn't live together anymore, and it's better than living with them in fight and drama everyday ! Maybe they can come back to each others later, maybe they just need time....but if it's not, she has to deal with, she can see her parents whenever she wants, she should be patient, and not let this affect her life, try to do more activities with her, and try not to remind her of anything about family, parents, try to make her smile, and if she doesn't want to eat, bring to her her fave food, or a sweet thing, if she has a boyfriend he can help too, if not then try to gather the help of all your mutual friends, I'm sure she will get through this, but if she ever needs to cry, just let her cry, it helps...

Answer 5

I think it kind of makes sense to just put things on hold until the divorce is finalized.

This would be a good to reorganize your life, make new plans, figure out who the "new you" is, etc., and by the time the legal issues are resolved you'll have had some re-thinking time that may make you better prepared to actually start living that new life. But maybe that's just my way of doing things, and maybe other people wouldn't agree with that approach....

Answer 6

Well, if you want to avoid these kinds of issues then you should wait. I mean, it's truly sad - how we have to label people and look down on them. Sometimes, there is one person in a marriage who simply forced the jet into a nosedive straight into the ground when the other person was totally sincere trying to make things work and would have done anything to make their marriage secure for life. I think if these are internet only relationships - not a big deal - if you want more than friendship now - you're better off waiting for that part - you're just making things easier for folks to understand and see that you're totally honest.

Answer 7

you can make friends but don't get into anything more for some time after the divorce is final. Too often if a person gets into a relationship too soon after a divorce it is to fill the void rather than find someone special and that leads to just a sexual connection that doesn't go anywhere special or a series of one night stands.and seldom to a good, solid second marriage or relationship.

Answer 8

Where do you live? I have a feeling that I'll be in the same boat pretty soon. It could be beneficial to network with similar miserable emotionally unpredictable people...

When they freak out you can just kick them out of the car an call them in the morning to see if they are back to normal.

;-)

Answer 9

i think first of all you need to get over the first question you asked, not easy but doable, join clubs, get a new sport, hobby, whatever .. from my point of view i would shy away not from you but the arrangement you are currently in, personally i would hate to be part of your divorce, in time you will meet someone else and wonder what the problem was

Answer 10

Lost with that--I have been div 3 years now and lost all my friends--my ex totally dogged me to them--even though he was the one whom cheated. I am looking into support groups now--for single mom's--I have 3 great friends still--but I need someone whom understands me--where do you live? love to hang out. Don't ever tell a guy you were recently div--they prey on us.