this hurts.?

Question

im 8 weeks and bout 5 or 6 days along in my pregnancy. i started bleeding yesterday so i went to the E.R. they did an ultrasound and said that the baby had no heartbeat and no movement at all. they said so its over 90 percent that i lost my baby and that i just havent passed it yet. so today i had clots all in my blood and its killing me to know that im losing my baby so please i need to know how to cope w/ this.

Answer 1

I am so sorry.
Please make sure you are taking care of yourself. Get rest, eat right, etc.
Although it may not be much comfort, it is not unusual to miscarry. My doctor said that many women miscarry their first pregnancy, but that this does not mean that you will continue to have problems.
I know that this hurts, but you should keep in mind that if the baby would not have been healthy, it would have been hard on you and the baby. As it is, he or she went back to the angels and will get another chance... maybe even with you.
To help you deal with the pain, maybe you should have a ceremony of sorts. You could write a letter to the baby to purge your feelings, you could bury or burn and scatter the letter. You could also plant a tree or other plant as a personal memorial so that this child will not pass without remembrance. Do something to allow yourself the right to grieve and then move on so that you can be ready for another chance.
No matter what you do, I sincerely hope that you find peace and happiness in the future.

Answer 2

WOW, I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you. Try to remember that the feelings you're experiencing may be intense and difficult but that it won't last forever. Call your OB/Gyn or talk to a nurse midwife and find a support group. Every woman experiences this differently so don't listen to people who say it's not a big deal or treat it lightly. I think the statistic is over 50% of fertilized eggs don't make it for the full 9 months, many never implant and many are early miscarriages so early that you never knew you were pregnant. I've had 3 miscarriages, one was a blighted ovum. So, you're not alone - almost every woman I know who has ever tried to become pregnant has had at least one. Women who have multiple children have more of them. I met a woman who had a baby who made it 6 months! Then, some people even have a stillborn. Alot of women have issues in talking about this so you may not know all of the people in your life who have had one. I don't have any issues in talking about it and I think that's good because then you can help other people cope. I also prayed for you just now. If you're trying to have a baby - the good news is that most of the time - most women go on to have a healthy pregnancy. Your doctor can do a work up as well to help determine the cause so that if there is some issue in you that needs to be corrected that it can be.

Answer 3

i had the same thing happen to me when i was 10 weeks. its very hard to overcome. nothing anyone said could make me feel better and i actually felt that i did something wrong. i cried alot and i was mad at myself. not only mentally but physically i hurt so bad. i dont think ill ever get over it because ill always wander what happened and why. i actually felt better if i didnt talk about it because it would make me hurt even more. if you feel that talking to someone would help though you should definately do it. im just the kind of person that likes to hold things in. there is nothing more painful than loosing a baby. that was probably the most dramatic thing ever in my life. youll be okay though. its just really hard. i became pregnant 6 weeks after my miscarriage and now have a beautiful perfectly healthy baby girl. so never give up and always remember that you did nothing wrong. you are a great person and things will get better.

Answer 4

First of all, I am very sorry. I lost my first baby at the EXACT same time as you. The doctors gave me two options. Get a D&C or let my body pass it naturally. I opted to let my body take care of itself, but after a month of nothing happening, the doctor asked me to please let her schedule me for the D&C. The morning that I was due for my D&C I woke up with severe cramping, and... well, it was bad, hard, and now that I have a daughter, I know that it was basically the same pain as early labor, I just didnt know it at the time. If you're already bleeding, it sounds like you will have an easier time than I did PHYSICALLY, but emotionally... I am so sorry. So very sorry. Im not sure if you are planning on having any other children, but if you are, or, if you find yourself later on wanting to try again, please read this book, it's called- Pregnancy After A Loss.. and it's by Carol Cirulli Lanham. Or, email me if you'd like, and I'll mail you my copy. Talk to someone you trust, and dont be afraid of your feelings... just roll with 'em. I wish you the best, and once again, Im sorry.

Answer 5

First, I am sorry for your lost. I, too, have gone through 4 miscarriges. The best thing for you to do in order to cope with the lost is being able to talk to people and tell them how you are feeling. When you let them know and you talk to your partner and see that he is going through it with you it makes it a little easier. The pain probably will not stop until you pass all the tissue. I had to get D&C's in order to make the pain stop because I could not pass it on my own. Just know that when you are ready you will most likely not have another miscarriage. Don't blame yourself for the loss. You may be angry, sad, and have other feelings about it...you are entitle to have those feelings. If you need to go and talk to a counselor it may have you cope to talk to it with someone who may have more understand. Take care of yourself and try to take it easy for a few weeks.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are having a miscarriage.Im so sorry, I have had 4 of them and they are so painful both physically and emotionally.Its normal to feel depressed and down obviously and the only thing that can make it better is to let time pass and let the natural grieving process take place.To get through this you will need the comfort of family and friends to support you and do all the crying you need to.There are also some good books out there on this subject if this helps.Again, I am so sorry and I know what you are going through.IF you need to talk feel free to email me.
Take care

Answer 7

I'm so sorry honey. I have just recently been through 2 losses in a row and it hurts badly. I'm still recovering emotionally from them both. Is there someone you can talk to about it? I remember crying for weeks during the first loss. It took a long time for that one to be over physically. Just rest up as best you can and talk or write about what you're feeling. Treat yourself gently and kindly. I'm so very very sorry.

Keep an eye on your bleeding. If you start passing lots large clots or start feeling lightheaded, call your doc or head back to the ER. I ended up in the ER with my first loss and it wasn't pretty.

Answer 8

Im so sorry.You have to just take it one day at a time. It was soo hard for me when I lost my baby it hurt so much (physically and emotionally). What I did was cry for awhile and talked to my friends about it but mostly I wanted to be alone because I felt as if no one understood. After talking to my friends they reassured me that everything was going to me okay and I was fine. I don't think you'll ever really get over it until you have another baby but you'll get through it. I still get emotional when I see babies or past by a baby store but I learned to deal with it there's really nothing I could do. It helps being around loved ones for moral support.

Answer 9

I know how you feel. I have had two miscariages and it was hard. especially when you know people who have a dozen or so abortion and can get pregnant at the site of a man. I lost my flopian tube in one of the miscarriages and I was devastated I got so bitter afterwards. But A year later I got pregnant with twins. And it made up for it. You just have to keep trying. It was nothing you did. so don't let anyone tell you it was your fault. just take some grieving time and try again. you do need to wait at least six months to a year to try again. just try talking to some one who will listein. and cry all you want.

Answer 10

First and foremost I AM SO SORRY for loss. I know you will be hurting for awhile, don't try to ignore it or keep it in. That will make it worse. But think of it this way, your baby was unhealthy. It is not your fault at all though. Many women experience miscarriages. You'll be able to concieve again. I hope for the best hun. Good luck.