Would it be bad if I always took care of a friend I love while being married to another girl?

Question

I am possibly getting married soon. I love both girls it's just that the one I'm marrying will be more faithful to me.

As to my friend, she has had a hard life but puts on a good attitude about it. She cant have normal relationship feelings for guys most of the time. She also knows I love her and accepts it, but she can only see me as a good friend in her feelings. Though she has opened up to me a bit more.

Would it be wronge to always be friends with her and take care of her in various ways like going to meals and friend dates still? Also helping her financially or by any means that come up? I am also thinking of naming her as the godmother of my future children, because she want children but isnt interested in getting married to anyone.

No, me and my friend are just friends. I'm guessing that at best my love is one sided even though she accepts it but put me in my place in her life.

No, I would most likely not have sex with this girl due to various circumstances plus she would not ever considure that with me. In fact she would have a hard time having sex with anyone because she was raped in middle school. If she offered now before getting married as a one night fling, then maybe. But even I would have to think about it because I don't care for sex by much. It would be hard to guess from my behaivior but I really dont. I was raped at a young age to, so sex to me is strictly for those you love, or if you are married for the person you are married to.

No I would not kiss this girl or anything like that. We do hug but that is it and it's brief. No cuddles. She just has given me more recently because she visits rarely because of college.

I fully would support my wife first and my friend 2nd. But I hope to for both.

I also wouldnt be all clutchy and such if she actually found a guy she loved. The only reason why I would ever try to distroy any relationship she has is if the guy isnt going to take care of her or is just using her. But if it is a good man and such, then I would fully support their union.

The thing is that I've known both my fiance and my friend for a long time. I've already told my fiance about my love for my friend. They know eachother. She is slightly hurt that she is not the only one that I love but she understands why I feel like I do and the choices I have made. She seems fine since I've still chosen to marry her. But I just want to make sure that it would not distroy our marriage if I do as much possible for my friend.

Also just to say, I would only help my friend if she was in dire need. But I wouldn't do something like by her a car because I love her and its her birthday or whatever. More like bail her out of debts or whatever.

Answer 1

You are not ready to marry anyone get your SH** together first before you screw 3 peoples life and possibly drag innocent children into this.

Answer 2

I know exactly what you feel. There is a line however. You need to take with your wife and let her know she is your friend and you want to keep her in your life. But, it has to be a FRIEND relationship and if you can't guarente it wouldn't come up then you need to cut one lose. Faithfulness is one of the keys. Sure you may love this person but I would tell her we can be friends only and if you both had or would have too many temptations then you would have to choose point blank.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are more concerned about your friends feeling than your future wife... You are not this other girls parent. and you are diving into a divorce before you even get married... You have to put yourself in your future wife's shoes and think about how you would feel if she said I want to take care of this other man because I love him and I will not give him up for anyone.. Would you allow your future wife to go out to dinner with someone she said she loved.. and I have to say this much it would be a cold day in hell before I would allow one of my husbands ex girl friends who he still loves to be my child.s God parent... you are not in love with neither girl... because you wouldn't marry one to hurt the other or you wouldn't expect your future wife to put up with you cheating on her with a so called friend... and the only reason a man would have anything to do with another woman besides his wife is because of sex... a married man is not going to support another woman other wise... If you get married I hope that your wife takes you for everything you got if you keep this other girl on the side...

Answer 4

asserting your his maximum needed woman and throughout stating your previous strikes right here extremely doesnt say plenty approximately you. What I see right it is a few dude walks in into lots of lifes like Gods present to females and hastily everybody needs him so the challenge of who is going to land him is on like a batch of hungry wolves around a touch lamb. And hes no longer all that good, come on!. females are like adult males in that they only choose one component, the excitement of a conquest conquered. You dont love him yet you like all different woman in basic terms needs him because of the fact others do to so youre not extra advantageous than a protection rigidity of ants. Dare to be diverse and dance to a various beat and stop being a sheep and walk faraway from from this guy until eventually now you get a STD or something. Now wouldnt that be astonishing if it got here approximately from Mr Irresponsible. I as quickly as had the comparable concern yet knew that girls weren't a conquest so I enable alot of females down and am chuffed I did and maximum of those females comprehend why I acted the way I did. remember, its no longer having what you like, yet wanting what you have. enhance up

Answer 5

Yes, then you wouldn't really be a "married man" then would you. Be her friend, but that is it. She seems to need a push in the direction of self reliance. You are getting married, time to change, man. Still be a good friend, but nothing more. Think of the soon to be wife more. She is top priority.

Answer 6

If she is only a friend then it should not matter! Does your girlfriend know her and like her? I mean as long as all of you are on the same page then it should not matter! Don't take this the wrong way i do not think you should have to justify your relationship with your friends to your girlfriend! I just think everybody would be more OK with the situation if they all know whats going on!

Answer 7

there isnothing wrong with this you sound like a good person
but you need to let your soon to be wife know the deal so that
it wont be a problem. but you need to keep this simple. if you\\
feel that this could become more then you also need to think
about that, you never no what the future brings when emotions
get involved.

Answer 8

It is okay to have friends of the opposite sex. But you need to talk to your soon to be life partner about it. Honesty and trust are key ingredients to a healthy marriage.

Answer 9

Be open and honest, first with yourself, and with both women. Love is the best when shared. Just love!

Answer 10

If I recall correctly, traditional marriage vows say something about "..........and forsaking all others..." . Think on that, and if you cannot do it, then don't marry.