I'm a quiet person in class most of the time.How do I break out of my shell?

Question

Okay, in my high school classes I'm really a quiet person because there's some "popular" people in my class.I really don't know why I'm so afraid of speaking aloud or just to them.And if I do talk to them,I speak in a sort of sarcastic way.I fear if I continue doing that I won't be able to gain any friends.I'm an average 16-year old girl that does not know how to go about my own goal.So, pls...... help me.

Answer 1

I think you just have to figure out what it is that separates you from these other people, and then play it out! Also, it's ok to be quiet sometimes - you don't always have to talk just because everyone else is talking. And if you're having trouble thinking of things to say, don't think at all. Just say the first thing that comes to mind, and if it flies then you'll feel 566567% better about yourself, and if it fails then you just have to remember that everyone will forget by tomorrow.

Maybe you have trouble talking to these popular girls because, in my experience, popular girls become popular by acting dominant over everyone else, which stems from their confidence with themselves. You just have to keep in mind that in 10 years, you'll be making tons more money and have a way better life than they will. But in the mean time, you just have to find that quality in yourself that you really like and try to find a way to bring it out - make yourself feel more equal status or dominant over these "popular" girls....don't force conversation, don't overthink your actions or words, and be yourself to the fullest degree!

Your real friends will like you for who you are - even if that means you're sarcastic all the time :)

Answer 2

I was the same way all through middle school and high school. I am now a college senior and for the most part, I still prefer to spend most of my time alone. When I was younger, I would barely say a word in school, but as I grew older and became more comfortable... realizing that people are not constantly judging me to the extent which I judge myself, I relaxed a little. This does not mean, however, that I felt the need to socialize much more, but rather that when I did, I felt more comfortable doing so. I am majoring in business management and human resources... but really I think I would rather sit in front of a computer monitor or work on something more complex (I want to actually use my brain). I plan on going to grad school for I/O Psychology. But back to you question... realize that most people are not very intelligent and do not have the ability to think or analyze things the way you do. So what if they think something you say is weird? As a mentor to first year students here on my college campus, I get to watch as the students leave behind the old "high school rules" of coolness. Once people grow up a little, the "coolest" guys can now sit with the nerds and get along well with them. I consider my introversion a gift to some extent (since it is supplemented with analytical thinking). We all have different skill sets...

Answer 3

Wear a tight, white T-shirt without any bra. That's an effective way to win friends and influence people. Or you could just stop focusing on being noticed by the "popular" kids. Why does their opinion matter? Don't let them decide your self-worth.There are probably other kids in the class who are just as shy and lonely as you are. Reach out to them instead of trying to be popular. Besides, after high school you learn that everyone actually hated the popular kids. So stop being so shallow...oh, and don't forget the t-shirt idea.

Answer 4

I was the same way in high school. I'm naturally a pretty reserved person.....which is okay! I am an only child and always thought it had to do with why I was "shy". It's okay to be reserved as long as you are confident in yourself. That takes time and you are very young still. Have you ever heard of Toastmasters? Its a club (usually in every city) that teaches people like you and I to speak in public; which in turn teaches one to speak up in a small group as well. Don't worry though....you WILL grow out of your shyness!!

Answer 5

Start by going to the movies or any of the hangout places in your town where everyone is. Maybe pay attention to your appearance a little more than usual. But be your self just stop caring how other people see you. and be confident in who you are cuz the chicks dig it.

Answer 6

Just be yourself!! You need some delf esteem. Who cares about the popular people. I know at 16 it is a big deal but it will pass. Oh, and I was in your shoes once and I fould that being sarcastic helps.....makes people see your character. People began to really like me for my comments and then I was popular...after that I blew them off! BE YOU!!

Answer 7

Depending on the class, I am real quiet in class also. For me to be more open in class I actually have to listen carefully to what is going on. I just throw caution to the wind. When i have something I want to share, i take a big breath and just share it. I think nerves get in the way. These people in class are your peers. Nobody is better or worse then you, so just share what you have to share. Trust me i have been in your situation.

Answer 8

I used to be like you, quiet and feel sad all the time. I thought I am not a beautiful girl, so I didn't have enough confidence. But I learn well, so a lot of people want to make friends with me ^.^ They make me more sociable and now, I become talkertive ^.^
So, you can try to learn well to have a lot of friends

Answer 9

You gotta get more confidence girl!! :) There will always be people who are more "popular" than you... not that that in itself really matters, but you can never be afraid to speak, or say what you think. Someone will always disagree with you, and someone will always think that you're wrong .. that's just the way life is.. BUT.. always have confidence in yourself!!!!

Answer 10

You need to find friends who have the same interest or hobby you have. That way you already have something in common to talk about. Check out the local YMCA as they usually offer everything from weight training to guitar lessons.