My soon to be ex asked to call it quits a month ago,he moved out and said that he no longer had feelings for me for about the last 9 months. Well this past Sunday he tells me he decided to start dating again and went out on his first date on Saturday. How can he just move on so fast like everything we had was nothing? Like we never existed?
2007-01-24 15:49:54 · 14 answers · asked by giofab1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he's been preparing for this first date 9 months ago, I think he already had those feelings for that person he went out with while you guys were still married but he didn't want to cheat on you, so he tried to stay in the marriage but he couldn't.
So he asked for the divorce and he asked you if it's ok if he went on a date. He's not feeling guilty coz you guys are finished and he can move on faster coz he has someone new in his life.
2007-01-24 15:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he a soon to be ex if he moved out last month? Wouldn't that make him an official ex? That aside (the wording doesn't make sense), there are a couple reasons he's able to "move on so fast." One is that is he's not at all. It's called rebounding. There is no way a person can have a real connection with someone so soon. The second is that his feelings for you were as shallow as he is, and he might not be capable of returning true affection. I know this is easier said than done, but obviously you know now that it was for the best. No one needs someone who can't love them fully in return, for whatever reason. Best of luck to you. Time heals, but it sure sucks for now. Cry into your pillow...hug a cat...and spend some time with girlfriends.
2007-01-24 23:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by rumezzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are like that. It seems men have the capcity to love several woman at the same time. Woman seem to only be able to truly love one man at a time.
Things would have been different if you had left him and started dating this soon afterwards. He would have been crying the blues and begging you to come back.
You may have thought you had a future together. But now he has
broken your heart. I am so sorry. I wish things would have turned out differently for you.
Do you know what, God will never leave you or forsake you. Run toward Him. Read your Bible, start with the Psalms, they will comfort you. Depend upon Him for strength to get through this difficult time in you life.
Find a friend that you trust and talk with them about how you are feeling. If you do not have anyone, sometimes there are some organization that you can call to talk to someone.
Take care of yourself. God bless you.
2007-01-25 00:11:10 · answer #3 · answered by may I ask a question? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he was never really feeling you the way you were feeling him. Nine months ago he was ready to move on. Did you notice any changes then? What happened in the relationship? Did you start smothering him? Or, maybe he just wants to be a selfish pig and explore other things. Because I seriously don't think a person can really move on that quick if they really were into the previous person. But you have to know honey, some people move to another person to try to get over the past one. And then therefore, the current relationship he's trying to pursue isn't going to progress in the right direction. Move on after you've had time to heal, don't try to rush anything on yourself because he's a fool. Best wishes to you!
2007-01-25 00:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Red Apple Martini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He quit having feelings for the past 9 months? I would be surprised if he wasn't already seeing that "first" date before the two of you broke up. Apparently you didn't see it coming and I feel for you but it looks as if he had moved on as you put it long before he actually told you. My advice to you is to take it slow. You need time to heal and to re-evaluate the relationship. Odds are you will start to think of things that you should have noticed but were to much in love to recognize at the time. They always say, it is the "wife" who is the last to know. In due time you will feel like starting again. Good luck.
2007-01-25 00:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by Poohcat1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess if he has been feeling like this for quite some time now, he probably thinks in his own mind that he has had plenty of time to get over this and move on. I know it does not make it any easier on you though which is very unfair. A lot of men seem to get over a break up very easily and move on. I am sorry to say this but you must move on also. He has made his decision very clear and unfortunately you are no longer a part of his future. I wish you lots of happiness and best of luck for the future.
2007-01-25 00:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he probably already had someone on the side waiting for him to end the relationship with you, it is sad but true, and men do that when they get tired of the woman at home, so maybe it was not a fast move afterall, because some men are real jerks.
2007-01-25 00:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by may s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, probably because he's been thinking about leaving you for 9 months! He's been over this relationship for a long time and that's why he can start dating now. I don't know why he felt the need to tell you about it though. He's either trying to make you jealous or you've been semi-stlaking him and he wants you to get the message that IT IS OVER!
2007-01-25 00:00:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long were you together.
Im going through a rough break up. I was getting married this April..and just a few days ago...he broke it to me that he's not in love with me and that he loves both me and his ex wife. I dont know what the means. I feel like...maybe your ex loved you...just wasn't in love with you..but loved you soo much that maybe he tried to make it work..and tried to fall for you...but couldn't...or maybe he's just an immature jerk. I dont know what to believe. It's whatever will make you sleep...crying will just give you a headache and you cant change someones feelings...he's an asshole for dating so soon...he shold atleast spare you some heartache and wait a while.
2007-01-25 04:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by Starla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is not grieving for you and because he can. If he hasn't had feelings for you for a long time then he is ready to move on. He probably had his eye on her before he moved out. All you can do is tell yourself "good riddance" and make a clean break with him. Then get busy and move on - go take a class, get busy living your life without him. that has to be better than with someone who didn't love you.
2007-01-25 00:00:48 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋