What are your opinions about taking a 3-yr-old into the delivery room?

Question

I am expecting another baby and not sure where or not I should let my daughter be in the room. There will be plenty of people there to keep an eye on her so that isn't an issue. I don't know how she might react to seeing it all happen or her reaction to what the baby will look like when it is born.

Answer 1

It could be very traumatizing to her. She may be very upset that the new baby "hurt" her mommy sooo much. I think you should consider having someone out side holding her and as soon as they have the baby cleaned up just a little, bring her on in. My son was three when my daughter was born, I wouldn't have taken him in, he would have hated her. But, it is your choice....Congrats and good luck.

Answer 2

I think three is much too young. She won't really understand what's going on, no matter how you try to explain it to her before hand, and she'll be terrified once she sees you in pain and everybody talking at once, and if she would happen to see the blood, I'm sure she'd freak.

If she was older, maybe 10, then it would be a different story. Some kids are even mature enough at 8 or 9, but I don't think many.

My sister-in-law was 14 when she went into the delivery room to see her youngest sister born, and she was traumatized then!

Your best bet is to have her stay with someone she can be happy with for a long period, like a grandparent or aunt, who can take her to their house or watch her at yours until the baby is born. Then you can call and have the person bring her to see you (or have her come the next morning if it is a night birth) when you are relaxed, had your face washed and your gown changed, and when the baby is washed and all wrapped in it's little blanket.

Then she could sit in bed with you, or in a chair close by, and hold the baby (with help) and get to know him or her without associating it with mommy yelling and blood and confusion.

Good luck, and congratulations on the upcoming birth!

Answer 3

I think a three year old would be scared to see her mommy in pain. Not to mention the blood. Personally I wouldn't take my daughter into the delivery room at 3 years old. Even if there are people there to explain to her what's going on - she's three and reasoning isn't there for her at that age.

Answer 4

I think only you know your child. I personally think 3 is too young. However, I would recommend during some peaceful moments while you are in labor you should allow the child to visit and see that mommy's okay. No matter how much pain you are in, you should be happy and all smiles for these small visits. I had my 9 year old girl in there with me with the hopes of showing her the real deal. I thought it would be like my first, quiet and peaceful (cause I had my drugs!!!!)...but with the second one...oh my god was quite the opposite. You never know what to expect. Congrats on the addition to your family and Good luck!

Answer 5

I too have a 3 year old son and gave birth almost 2 weeks ago. And I was told that he couldn't be in the delivery room but, could once everything was cleaned up! Your best bet is to have some one watch her in the wating room until after you give birth. I don't think that she will be allowed in.

Congrats and good luck! ( My picture is of my newborn son, Cody. He was 3 days old at the time he will be 2 weeks old tomorrow!)
Jennifer
Redding, CA

Answer 6

NO!!! Kids can't stand to see their parents hurt or in pain, and the sight of blood usually upsets them a lot too. She won't have any clue what is going on, and she will probably be very scared. And that is just with a routine delivery - imagine what it would be like if you needed an emergency c-section.

Maybe you can have a friend stay with her in the waiting room, and she can come in to see the baby as soon as you are both cleaned up.

Answer 7

No Way. I have 4 children. My 11 year old daughter desperately wanted to come and see her new little sister being born. I talked with her about it a lot and described what she would see. She was a bit apprehensive about it but thought that maybe she could stay up near my head (my boys, 9 and 3 weren't interested in coming in). Well, I talked to the hospital (birthing centre) and they said any children under 16 weren't permitted in the room unless they went to the hospital's classes for children that showed them what would happen (like a training class). It was quite expensive. I spoke to many people and felt that it wasn't the best decision and spoke to my daughter about it. I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on alleiving her fears when I was in pain as it is too intense. We decided together that she was too young. She then said that she just wanted to be the first one to see her baby sister. So we had family wait outside the room and as soon as her baby sister was born she came in and had tears streaming down her face when she saw her beautiful new little tiny sister. It was awesome. But no, I wouldn't let a 3 year old in. (if you think you'd like to go ahead with it - you can watch Maternity Ward on Cable and see if your child is okay with it). I have had very fast births / labour (5 hours, 3 hours, 1 1/2 hours and 50 minutes) so mine was VERY intense and agonising and I knew I couldn't speak or comfort my child if I needed to. But you may be able to cope. Even with other people in the room she may still want Mommy.

Answer 8

I'm going to school to be an OB/GYN and I would not want another person that is un-needed in the room because it causes chaos. Too crowded, too much noise. And you might freak her out if she hears you making noises and is too young to understand. She might be distracting also, I think you should leave her with others and bring her in after the baby is born. On the medical channel, this mother brought her son with her around 3-4. It was an absolute mess, she was yelling at him to behave the whole time. Just enjoy it without worrying about someone else.

Answer 9

Obviously this is totally your decision and no one elses. My opinion though, would be to leave the child with a relative, maybe in the waiting room. That way she is there, but doesnt have to witness it. Something with that much intensity could be very overwhelming. She will see you "hurt" because you are bleeding, and likely screaming, she will get scared. She will be too young to understand, and it might affect her. I think then you can bring her in once the baby is cleaned up and let her be the proud big sister! Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 10

I would have her talk with your dr, doula, or midwife who can explain what will be happening in there. if she understands and still wants to see I would show her a video of a birth and tell her to stop it when she feels she's seen enough. I would think that the library or dr. office would have one. If after she understands and sees what will happen and you feel like she will be ok then that's up to you. I would definately find out if she she wants to or if she would rather go play with someone while you are actually delivering. To me, 3 is a little too young but I do understand that we all have different levels of comfort around our bodies and our children. I personally would not do it but if you really want to definately involve your doula, midwife, or dr. for their help in the matter. They will perhaps have experienced this and have some helpful advice. Good luck!

Answer 11

I know it is the most wonderful moment a woman can have. With that in mind. It is your moment, not your 3 year old daughter's. She already knows where the baby is and where it has been for months. This is enough information for a 3 year old. Simply put, it might traumatize the child! So, my answer would be, no!