Me and bf broke up and I kinda like his friend and he likes me too but I don't know if its ok to date him seen both are really close friends and we broke up like 1 week now.
2007-01-24 14:37:59 · 16 answers · asked by goody2shoe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
nobody's gonna stop ya...
Maybe wait a bit so your ex and his friend don't think you're in it for revenge or whatever.
2007-01-24 14:52:11 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your motivation is to rub your desirability in your ex's face, the answer is clear--don't do it. Wait a couple months: If you're still burning to be together, you can hook up then.
Here are four questions to ask yourself before you get involved.
1. Am I ready to hurt some feelings?
When movies show characters falling for their ex's pal, it's all about cute montages and perfect kisses, but in real life, prepare yourself for some problems.I recomend to first consider how your new venture could affect others. The ex-boyfriend may feel betrayed by both his friend and ex . Regardless of who did what and why, feelings like hurt, loss, sadness and anger may be stoked.Make sure you're willing to accept fallout from your actions: Your ex may hate you; his friend may ultimately resent you "causing" the end of their friendship.
2. Can I sleep at night knowing they'll compare notes?
The same way you probably vented about your heartbreak to your best friend, your ex will likely talk to his buddies about you. Your new guy could hear details of what went wrong. Each situation has to be taken case by case . Consider what your relationship is like with the ex, how serious you were, and how close he is to the friend. If you think you'll wind up obsessing over what your new beau "knows," date outside your breakup circle for a while. Otherwise, you'll stay tethered to your ex by worrying about what he's saying and you'll put your new guy in the middle--neither of which is a good method for moving on. And if you even suspect that the friend is just playing nice because he knows you're vulnerable, steer clear.
3. Is this really about my ex?
There are issues you need to confront before you make a move--if you and the friend are so great together, why weren't you dating him in the first place? What do you want to happen with him? Be honest--many of us daydream that our ex will snap to his senses and come fighting for us. If your motivation is to rub your desirability in your ex's face, the answer is clear--don't do it. Even if you're able to get an angry or jealous reaction now, trying to manipulate him will just make you the "psycho ex." Tempting as it may be, ultimately you'll find that forgetting about your ex is more satisfying and healthier than screwing with his life.
4. How would I judge an acquaintance for doing this?
Some people would view this relationship as taboo . A good way to gauge this for yourself is to imagine a friend in a similar situation. If you'd tsk-tsk her for poaching a second guy from the same group, that's your conscience warning you away. If that's the case, wait a couple months and see how you feel. If you're still burning to be together, you can hook up then. If you're not, you saved yourself from confusing conflict with real passion--and wasting time on a not-right relationship. Note: If you do decide to go forward, some people will always question your motives and morals for getting involved. It's not your job to try and change their minds--it's your job to ignore them, rather than feed off the drama.
But if you still think dating your ex's friend is the right move, then go for it. Sometimes, the minor relationships in our lives introduce us to the next person we date--there's no reason your ex's friend couldn't be your soul mate
Just think about it...
~Hugz
2007-01-24 14:54:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not a good move to date his friend.considering that both are so close and that you guys broke off a week ago.try to wait it out awhile.before you and his friend speak to him.he might not be or be ok with it.but its a good thing if you actually ask and talk to your ex about this.you don't want him to be in a tight spot when you to go out together.
2007-01-24 22:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by tasha2329 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a good idea if they're close buddies. However you can just go for it and see what happens but most likely their friendship will get broken up and maybe things would be a little wierd if all three of you hang out together.
2007-01-24 15:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hey it all depends, it probably would make things pretty awakward with your ex and his friend but maybe if you talked to your ex or the guy you like did first. I would feel awful if I ruined there freindship even though he's my ec. But if you guys are like madly in love why not go for it anwaY.
2007-01-24 14:44:44 · answer #5 · answered by perpetaully sarcastic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez, you broke up a week ago, and you already want an other bf? You so will get a bad reputation if you do...
2007-01-24 17:24:20 · answer #6 · answered by x-Cool Girl-x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its perfectly ok. Its also a good way to get back at your ex if there is any hard feelings there.
2007-01-24 18:56:52 · answer #7 · answered by heveansent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
97% of the time NO. However, if you ex has been asked and is honestly comfortable with it then it is ok. Other then that it is totally inappropriate.
2007-01-28 09:00:56 · answer #8 · answered by calgaryjenhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say no...how would u feel if he dated your bestfriend...r the 2 of u on good terms, if so maybe u should talk to him about it...but i would wait longer than a week...its kinda direspectful
2007-01-24 18:51:04 · answer #9 · answered by eyesopen16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there. Done that. Ruined their friendship... they hate each other now... It isn't to bad... but for HIM it is. To date your best friend's ex is pretty bad.. for the ex.. what does she care.. she probably doesn' like the ex anymore anyway.
2007-01-24 14:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋