My family is not doing well....?

Question

My family is falling apart more and more everyday.
I have been depressed over the years and I feel like it is my fault that the family is not as close as it used to be. My parents have been married for almost 20 years and they are thinking about divorcing. I could never live with myself if they got a divorce over me. I feel like I have taken so much out of them and they have no more of anything left to give. I am trying so hard to be happy and I am trying to help this family but some days it seems inpossible. Me and my mom are always fight and my dad hates it which puts him in a horrible mood. which makes my dad and mom not want to be around eachother. I feel like I have taken away time from my brothers with my parents because I have taken up all their time with them trying to help me. I feel horrible and i dont know what to do. I dont know how to make things right. Im so confused on my family and my life. Would anyone care to help me?

Answer 1

oh my gosh whatever u do don't think its ur fault. it's not. just get along with your mom and if she gets mad at you, don't argue back just say i'm sorry, give her a hug and go away. your parents are probably getting stressed from work or paying bills and everything, u and ur family probably need to got on a vacation. sit down with your parents and have a little talk with them. tell them how you feel and because you're depressed, your probably going to cry, which would make them really realize that you're sad. take my advice and have a chat with them. i really hope this helps. i'm really scared for you because if you become even more depressed and still think that ur family's falling apart because of you, you might start thinking of suicide. but don't please just talk with them. i hope everything turns out all right.

Answer 2

hello, don't think of it that way... i'm in a similar situation as you, just different... my parents never solved a problem since the beginning of their marriage and they're thinking about divorce too--they've been married for 27 years already. i'm 22 this year and i've done everything i can to help... i really hope both our families turn out for the better. it's not totally your fault--if you think it is, do something to change why you think it's your fault. help around the house more. give encouragement more. be less selfish and more considerate to everyone in your family. just think of a way to make things in the house feel better... talking to a good friend/sibling will help too. put minds together and force yourself to get along with your family--in the end they are the ones who matter the most :)

gd luck :D (right now my parents are giving each other the cold-treatment again--they aren't talking and this is the 2nd day)

Answer 3

When things calm down, say, "I'm sorry for... .Thank you for..., that was a good idea, you had, etc. Be sincere. And now, How can I love you today?" Then listen to what each one has to say.
Instead of thinking of yourself, and how to fix your problems, think about how to solve theirs. This usually helps your problems go away, believe it or not!
Make a Valentine card for each one. Tell them 10 things about what you like about them,
Or a poem.
Be the glue.
Don't contribute to the poison in the air.
Be very aware at all times what you are doing.
Slowly, but surely, they will turn.
Doing these things, will reassure you in the future that you did everything you could do, and you will not feel guilty for anything that may happen despite your efforts.
Take a deep breath when you think you want to vent, or take a walk.
Pray. And, Visualize the storm f-a-d--i---n----g .
Just a few suggestions.

Answer 4

You need to get some counseling to help you deal with your problems and if you can get your parents involved it may help them as well. If you have been depressed over the years perhaps the marrage of your parents was doing that as well so counseling is best all the way around. Perhaps your depression has to do with a medical condition as well but counseling is the best place to start. Good luck to you!!