how do you get over the fear of putting your baby in daycare?

Question

my son is 10 months old, and i need to go back to work, because our income is really low at the time. i don't have any relatives to watch him, so daycare is the only option. i am terrified of the thought of another person taking care of him. any mothers have advice for me on how you got through this?

Answer 1

Another option is to work when your husband is home, work on the weekends and at night.
It is so worth it to know that baby is safe at home with Daddy... and you'll save on the day care costs, which pretty much wipe out what you'll bring home anyway!

Answer 2

Interviewing the people that work at the daycare is good to do. Take the baby with you so you can allow the baby to interact with the daycare provider. I try and pick one that does it out of her home and that is licensed through the state. Possibly take a day off work and take you and the baby to the daycare for a few hours so the baby can interact with the other babies/children. It's okay to be scared. I was but didn't have a choice as I am a single parent. Keep in mind that in putting your baby in daycare may cost you more than what you are lacking in your income at home. Ask questions about when your baby gets older do you have to provide food on top of the diapers etc. Try and put the baby in a small setting as opposed to an institution daycare(more than one teacher and more than one classroom). The average pay for a baby in daycare is roughly $200-300 a week.

Answer 3

This is going to sound crazy but I cried and cried and cried the first day my son started daycare...the sad part is, he was 2.5 years old and I worked in the adjoining building. I taught the prek class in the school that was connected! I knew his teacher, knew EVERYONE that worked in his building and I was still so upset.

It is definitely worse for you than it is for them. The kids at the daycare love it - I see it first hand! In my pre k class I have some in September that have never left their parents and the parents are a nervous wreck and the kids are fine within 1 minute of them leaving. Babies are amazing...so adaptable.

It is hard but if you need to work you can't feel guilty. The key is to take your child a few times to get adjusted. I don't advise staying with them all day but start daycare two weeks before you go back to work. Start with an hour the first day, skip a day, and do an hour on Wednesday, an hour Thursday, and an hour Friday. Do this at a time that isn't eating or sleeping.

Next week on Monday do 1/2 days and leave him there at naptime so he is used to it but be there soon after he wakes up. After a week of 1/2 days he'll be ready for full time, and you will too, the following week.

Good Luck! SD

Answer 4

Dee Dee-
Never loose that "fear". Being educated and participate in the program. That will ease the pain. I cried for over a year- its normal. They are having fun, its just us. My "gut" instinct is always right.

Try Mother's Day Out Programs right now- 9-12 or 9-2. its a one, two, three or five day programs. Most times it is a church event. You bring all the supplies and food-Its the best starting point. It also allows you to meet other Mom's and gives you a day to interview.

I actually hired a Nanny, it was about the same price as daycare for a young baby. I wanted another MOM in the neighborhood.

I worked from home as long as I could.
Then I took him with me for the first 6 months, we breast fed.
I actually changed my whole life to stay at home now- my son is 3 years old. I work two days a week while he is IN Mother's day out. Its been really hard both financially and personally.
My job is MOM and its hard enough, so we live "small" no credit cards and cash only for everything. Its working.

Answer 5

I'm not a mother, but I am a daycare provider. Almost every parent I've seen goes through this exact same thing. The first couple days the parents cry more than their kids at drop-off.

Your best bet is to find high-quality child care with someone you can trust. Do as much research as possible into company policies to give yourself peace of mind. When you do settle on a daycare, give them "surprise" visits if possible, so you can check and see how your son is doing. (Don't let him see you, seperation anxiety is strong at 10 months.) And if you need to, call the daycare whenever you have a question or concern. A quality program will be happy to relieve your fears and will be understanding.

Answer 6

I am going through the same situation right now. I am actually going to try to work at the daycare that I enroll my daughter in, but obviously not everyone can do that so I suggest taking your son to a daycare and staying there to observe how things go for a couple of days. I would watch how they take care of the other children, the activities, nap times, snacks, etc. to see if they are up to your standards. Good luck!

Answer 7

I cried every day for three months when I had to put my boys in daycare. I felt like the worst person in the whole world. But...I have to work. I checked out the daycare, spent some time there, met the people and the other kids going there. I have my kids in a home daycare, I really don't think I would like it at all if they were in some institutional-type daycare. When I saw that my kids were happy to go, they miss me and all but they really do enjoy their day, I was more grateful than anything that this woman spends her day caring for my children, that she treats them like family and enables me to put food on the table. I would not have been able to leave my boys had I not been totally sure that they were in a good environment. Once I was satisfied of that, I knew the feelings I had were sadness for myself, for us, but not based in any kind of real idea of my children being in danger. It really does suck, and I won't lie to you, that guilt is always there, even just a little bit, but you do what you have to do to take care of your children. BTW, my kids absolutely do not love their daycare provider more than me. They DO love her, to death...but I am mommy and I know nothing will ever change that.

Good luck.

Answer 8

I was scared when I put my son in daycare too. Since he is 10 months old, you can be comforted that he is well bonded with you.. and he is secure in himseld by that stage. This will be fun for him! Hes at a great age, hes learning lots and hes open to new things. I got over my fear by looking at 4 different daycares before choosing the one my son went to. On his first day I went with him, and we only stayed about 3 hours. I let them take care of him, and just made sure he was comfortable. It also gave me a chance to watch how clean they kept things... how well they took care of the kids... On his second day, I stayed until he got comfortable..about 40 minutes.. then left him there for 6 hours. From then on, he was great about daycare. He never cried when we left.. and he loved his caretaker.

Answer 9

Tour every daycare in the area and pick the best one. A truly good place will encouage you to make surprise visits, call to check on your baby, and stop out to see them whenever you want. I just went through this as well. mine starts next month, 2 days per week. she is going to an academy style daycare where the kids are seperated by age. I LOVE that idea.......that eliminates fear of bigger kids hurting her by playing too rough, and she is around several kids her own age. and there is quite a bit of learning worked into their program.
Daycare is a unique fit......find the one you are most comfortable with. email me if you have questions......I was SOOO picky and asked a million questions.....
take care and good luck!!

Answer 10

that's a huge and BUSY occupation selection, so which you will loose a great style of time along with your daughter. it is not a factor time or 9-5 style of factor. whether it is punctiliously as much as you, for my section i does no longer be waiting to do it. I struggled at a 12 months to bypass returned to paintings section time and placed my daughter in daycare as quickly as a week! (she became waiting to come again with me the different 2 days as that's a babies place and the sooner or later is my workplace day) i does no longer no longer placed her into daycare because of the fact she is small and the different youngsters are strolling, that's the way maximum daycares are. newborn-12 (particularly circumstances 18 months) is basically approximately constantly in one room mutually. she would be in a position of evolve, and bear in mind the different youngsters would be used to being around smaller infants. My daughter has under no circumstances trampled over a smaller infant, she's so obssesed with them, she hugs and kisses them all of the time. you would be shocked how properly they in many situations gets alongside. If there is not any want so you might bypass returned to paintings spectacular away, then why push it. in the journey that your satisfied being at homestead, then stay there. she would be in a position of in user-friendly terms be a splash one as quickly as. Take the bar next 12 months and notice the way it is going! stable luck and luxuriate in her together as she would not communicate returned ;)

Answer 11

You need to evaluate if you really need to work. A baby belongs with his mommy all the time. I have more traditional views I know... but why have kids if you aren't there to raise them? I have some friends who have a low income and they budget so that she can stay home with their daughter. It's tough and they have to go without the things they "want" many times, but they make it and their family is very successful. Please just assess the reasons you need to go back to work... is it so you can afford to do your nails or buy that new pair of jeans... or is it to actually put food on the table. Child care is very expensive and is going to eat up a lot of that "extra" income you'll be bringing in... so how much are you actually going to bring home? Is it worth it? I always find that if you make a pro and con list it helps to make important decisions like this. I hope that this advice helps and good luck.