Why do swingers swap spouses? They say they love eachother but want to have sex with others.Is it boredom with themselves or they just greedy people who need lots of sex?
2007-01-24 13:34:23 · 13 answers · asked by thickgirlsrule 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Ah, the common misconception about swingers.
Trying to explain swinging to someone whose never done it is like trying to explain the thrill and rush of skydiving to someone whose never done it, and worse yet is afraid of heights. All they see it that you're a crazy nut who jumps out of perfectly good airplanes.
Swingers don't swing because they are "bored" or "greedy" or need more sex then anyone else. In fact, our sex drive is pretty much along the average for the human species. Besides, who ever complained about having too much sex?
Swinging is not a 24/7 orgy like it's portrayed in the media and in porn. It's normal, everyday people married or otherwise committed couples that occasionally get together with other couples and singles to fulfill fantasies that take more than two people to do.
In fact, in a poll of "active" swingers 35% said they swing just a few times a year and 42% said on the average of once-a-month. Only 23% said more than once a month.
Why do we swing? Well, like I mentioned above it's because we have fantasies that require more than to people to fulfill. And, because we are secure in ourselves, and in each other, and in our relationship we can live-out these fantasies together.
Swinging is helping your significant other live-out their fantasies while fulfilling your own. We get as excited about our SO having a great time as we do about ourselves having a great time.
We do love each other. We love each other enough that we know that we are "it" for one another, and that our relationship is much more than just sex. That we are together because of everything BUT sex, and the great sex we have together is just icing on the relationship cake. We know that no other sex organ on anyone else is going to take one of us away from the other, no matter how good the sex is.
If relationships were just based on good sex then most of everyone that has had more than one lover in their life would be with one of their ex's rather than with their current partner or spouse. Obviously, good sex wasn't enough to overlook all the other stuff that was lacking in the relationship. Right?
My wife and I had a great relationship and a great sex life before we started swinging, and it got even better after. We were by no means "bored" with each other, and we still aren't.
For us, sex and love are not the same thing. You can want to have sex with someone you love, and you can want to have sex with someone you don't love. People buy in to the idea of you get married and all of a sudden everyone else in the world should become ugly to you, or that magically you won't be sexually attracted to anyone else in you life. We all know that's not true. Everybody has thought of someone besides their significant other in a sexual way. Women lust men, men lust women.
Swingers are just able to emotionally distinguish between real love and lust. They are not the same thing. Some think it is. That because they are in lust with someone that they must be "in love" with them. Then, after a while when the lust wears off, they figure out they don't like the other stuff about their partner and they move on to the next person they fall "in love" with and have sex with them. Then they get bored there and move on again. What is called "serial monogamy."
Some facts about swingers from the 2000 study done by Bellarmine University compared to the General Social Survey (GSS):
Stereotype: Swingers must not be happy in their marriage.
Truth: Swingers on the average are happier than those in the GSS. 79% of swingers described their relationship with their spouse as "very happy" compared to 64% of respondents in the general population.
Stereotype: Swingers must be bored with their life.
Truth: Swingers are significantly happier than the general population. 59% of swingers rated their life as "very happy" compared to 32% of the general population. 76% of swingers rate their life as "exciting" as compared to 46% of the general population (which 54% of listed their life as "dull").
Stereotype: Swingers don't put much importance in marriage.
Truth: 57% of swingers say that being married is "most" or "very" important in relationship to all other things in their life compared to 51% of the general population. Also, 78% of swingers said they get "very great" or a "great" deal of satisfaction from their family compared to 75% of the general population.
Stereotype: Swingers are amoral people.
Truth: Swingers are more likely to be a member of a church, synagogue, or mosque with 72% saying they are compared to 61% of the general population.
As a final note, while sexual variety was "Very Important" to approximately one-half of the respondents in the survey, over one-third said making friends was "Very Important." For many swingers swinging is more than just anonymous sex with strangers and that mixing socially with like-minded people constitutes an important part of their social and emotional lives.
I hope that helps explain it just a little. For more good and objective information on swinging, check-out The Swingers Board at http://www.swingersboard.com .
2007-01-25 15:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Why Do Couples Swing
2016-11-14 20:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you assume that anyone who is different than you is sick, bored, or greedy?
60% of men cheat. 40% of women cheat. That means that 84% of relationships experience infidelity where one or more of the partners is doing something dishonest outside the relationship.
Obviously, some people are not meant to be monogamous. Yet when people are open and honest about doing this, rather than sneaking around and being dishonest, they are greedy people that need lots of sex? Puleeze! Grow up!
I'm not a swinger, but I have friends who are. They don't get more sex than monogamous people, but they do appreciate the variety and difference that different partners offer.
I am polyamorous. I am not monogamous. However, for me, it's about forming multiple long term romantic relationships with the full knowledge and blessing of everyone involved.
Swingers and polyamorous folk are not very jealous people. They are very secure in the sexualilty, their sexual abilities and are not worried that their partners are going to run off with someone else or get some from someone else.
Many of the swingers I know have been swingers for 20+ years, happily married, and find swinging a very fulfilling activity.
2007-01-24 13:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
These people's answers are all full of ****. My answer is the most accurate one here.
People who usually swing are, older and have been together for decades, middle aged and been together for years or younger and just like to party, or the man just wants to swap out his woman for a new piece of ***, or his penis is too small so she wants to get off with a endowed man. But the bottom line is, people just want new and strange people.
Yes some do like living out fantasies of seeing their partner with others with no issues themselves or are not bored with each other, but it's mainly a way to spice up their own cold monotonous sex life
2016-09-02 20:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by Johnny 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Why do people swing?
Why do swingers swap spouses? They say they love eachother but want to have sex with others.Is it boredom with themselves or they just greedy people who need lots of sex?
2015-08-10 11:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People...where in THE hell are y'all getting your information from??? 'Cause it sure as sh*t isn't from personal knowledge...with the exception of the guy who conspired with a girlfriend to con another couple into having sex with him. If he got the sh*t end of the stick, I say serves you right. Dumb*ss.
Just for the record, that's not the way swinging works. Nobody is EVER supposed to "take one for the team" like that, deception like that is absolutely against the rules, and it works best when you are swinging WITH someone you are very intimate with, not with an uninvolved, noncommittal friend.
We are not bored with our lives, we are not bored with ourselves, and we are not bored with each other. Life for us is NOT going from one orgy to the next. We are not obsessed with sex, nor are we addicted to it in any way...unless you count our addiction to our own spouse. Swinging is an overflow of an abundant sex life, not a last resort born out of a desperate LACK of satisfaction. Sheesh. Get your facts straight folks.
We swing because we can, because our relationships are strong enough that they allow it. It's definitely NOT greed. Our greatest satisfaction in swinging is the happiness we feel in allowing our spouse complete sexual autonomy, and knowing that they can live a full life, unhindered by our own selfish demands. I don't WANT him to promise me his sexual fidelity! What good is that to me? How does that say anything about me? What, that I'm worth cutting a part of his personality off for?? Oh, he'll do it if I ask him to, out of respect. But I feel that if I ask him to kill a part of himself for my sake, I'm not fulfilling my vow to him, which is to help him acheive his fullest potential in this life. How the heck is he supposed to do that without all of himself? One's sexuality is a vital part of our personality. Take away a piece of that, and you change the person.
And people wonder why marriages go south after they start denying their innate sexualities...
2007-01-25 10:53:47 · answer #6 · answered by intuition897 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
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2016-01-26 13:03:18 · answer #7 · answered by Gerry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why either but i worked with a guy who swapped wifes and he said that he liked to see another guy bang his wife. i was like "i would kick the **** out of a guy if he even hit on my wife." But i guess thats what freaks do. But my single friend had a real good idea. He said for him and his girlfreind (and i mean just girl and freind no relationship) to act married just to swing with married couples. i thought it was a good idea till he did it and he said the wife was a fat lady and got stuck at the bad end of the deal!! Funny huh! But i think its wrong but you never know what peole do now for fun.
2007-01-24 13:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 8⤋
i was asking my self the same thing when i found out a gal i was seeing was advertised on the computer advertising that same thing i think its gross but it probably feels good im not going to do it because of the regret after i saw her on here right in front of me that was about one more strike towards her
2007-01-24 13:39:57 · answer #9 · answered by peter w 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Ah... the "open relationship"
Despite the many excuses people give for this, I would imagine it boils down to the fact that some people are afraid of being alone. They stay in an unfulfilling relationship and seek fulfillment outside the relationship.
2007-01-24 14:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by ramman 4 · 1⤊ 8⤋
imagine your wife having orgy with 10 different guys at the same time without me knowing it. .......divorce
2014-02-15 06:24:44 · answer #11 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋