What should I do about it?

Question

I have a 9 year old daughter. Yesterday, I walked on her touching herself on the livingroom. It wasn't the first time. I have told her before this is something she should do in private, and she doesn't listen. What should I do? Isn't she too young for this anyway?

Answer 1

She's not to young- to some extent. She doesn't think of it in the "sexual" way. She thinks of it in the "this feels good- leave me alone" way. She is too embarrassed to take your advice, so she is pretending not to know that it's bad so you'll think she's innocent and sweet and doesn't know what she's doing. She's probably done research on this topic or heard it from friends, so either way, the only thing that can stop this is punishment OR tell her no when she is doing this in the living room by sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV. It works every time!

Answer 2

Most kids have found that part of their body by the time they're one.

I would ask her to stop or go to her room as that is a private thing. If it's a routine, though, I'd ignore it. Making an issue of it may turn it into a power struggle.

Answer 3

I work in Child Safety, and this can be normal behaviour for a young child. It's Exploration. I would still sit her down and talk to her because she might have questions. And maybe try to talk to her about how it is bad if other people do this to her and she if she has gotten this from someone else....

That's just the recommendations we give anyway...

Answer 4

No, she is NOT too young and she just hasn't gotten the idea of the fact this is a private issue. Seems like she needs some more info and details. You are not going to stop masturbation, but you can provide her the information she needs to take it private.

Answer 5

nothing is wrong with her doing it, but it does need to be done when she is alone. Did she know other people were in the house? Sometimes you could be doing it in the living room, only because you think that you are alone in the house.

She is at an ok age to do it, but make sure she understands that it is only for her room or in the bathroom

Answer 6

weird,..are you sure no ones touched her ?some girls try to figure out why they have a hole there after someone brings it to there attention...you need to have a very gentle good touch -bad touch talk and then ask if she has experienced anything bad....let her know she's not bad....you really need to get to the bottom of this...What is she seeing ,hearing,learning at home or other places?

Answer 7

This is the time for privacy. Of couse this is normal and telling her it is wrong is not correct. You are right, teach her privacy. In our home with all the children they were taught early, there is a time and place. The time is when you are alone, in your room or in the bath.

Like with all parenting issues be consistent.

Answer 8

Try talking to her. Its normal for kids to explore. Sit down and have a "grown up" talk with her explain how you dont do that where other people can see you. Dont yell or scream at her, just sit down and be calm.

Answer 9

Not too young. Unfortunately. I would tell her that it is to be done in private and that you don't want to see it again. Good luck

Answer 10

Well i can see why she is touching her slef. Curiosty and the fact that we live in a sexly impusled time. It is wrong for her to be doing it. But since she does then yeah she should do it in privet though she shouldn't do it period. There isn't really anything you can do to stop her i mean it is her body. You could talk to het though it would be acward other i dunno. . .